>for the 40th anniversary of Mario, we find out Mario got laid, just never with Peach.

Honestly, good for him. Question now is, who gets Peach?

>>715279657
bowser, obviously

Nintendo will never openly confirm some of their characters have canonically fucked

>>715279769
No, I think Peach and Tiara travel the world together and visit Mario from time to time.

>>715279893
There's no getting around the fact that Cranky Kong FUCKED.

>>715279893
Except Bowser, who clearly has at least 8 kids.

>>715279769
She's always been Koopa property.

>>715279893
>What is Cranky Kong and Wrinkly Kong?

>>715280049
They're just going to retro-actively make Donkey adopted. And as a nice two-for-one appeal to the woke crowd for putting in an adopted orphan as a franchise main hero.

>>715280076
It was confirmed that only Bowser Jr. is his biological child. lol

>715280397
>adoption is woke now
I am waiting for the day you retards actually, unironically start asserting that breathing is woke. That day cannot come soon enough.

>>715280687
Not saying it is woke, just that NoA as-is would definitely frame it as such and try to milk it as much as possible with that crowd.

>>715280528
So he got his dick wet at least once

>>715279509 (OP)
Where's the AI images of Mario molesting young Pauline?

there is no sex in the marioverse. Mario people are born via stork

>>715283329
Why do you "Maria" people keep saying her name is "Maria" and then give her a hat with a P on it? That makes no sense.

mario pay the damn child support the girl needs shoes

donkey kong would not allow that

>>715279509 (OP)
So is this just a meme, or were DK Bananza story details actually leaked?

>>715283904
Someone else, who I assume doesn't come here, made their own AI meme, because he must have also come to the same conclusions I did.

>>715283904
Kek. Are you actually believing some shitpost on /v/ with an AI image???

>>715283549
Because she's a "pariah"

>>715283904
Where's Maury Povich when you need him?

>>715281981
Not with Peach, loser.

>>715285181
The real reason Peach can float is because when she gave birth to Bowser Jr., his massive shell passing through her vagina left her completely fucking gaped. As if getting her world pounded in by that BKC 9 months ago wasn't enough. The birth left her vagina a massive gaping hole, which she can actually queef so hard out of, that the force of air pushing out of her Bowser Jr shaped hole is enough to temporarily suspend her in mid air. She's lucky that newborn Koopas don't have spikes.

>>715279657
Me

>>715283904
One guy from /vg/ literally pushed this shit so hard down /v/'s throat that some people are shitposting with it.
I'm not kidding by the way.

>>715288649
No me.

>>715284898
Bros?!

>>715279509 (OP)
>Be short grown ass man
>Have girl child that's already almost as tall as you
Mario's manlet suffering knows no end.

>>715289112
I'm sorry.