I hope whoever designed this broken mess of a fight gets thrown off a fortress.
Tarkus gets in my face the moment the fights starts. He hits like a truck and never lets up. Good fucking luck grinding his HP down, you might as well not even try.
Oh, and he an stagger me, which resulted in one of the longest ass animation I ever seen where I can do nothing an watch while these two shitheads wail on me. Who the fuck decided that was a good idea?
The only working strat I found is the grab attack. I sometimes get to throw him off the arena, emphasis on sometimes, because I have zero control where I throw him. Most of the time he just lands back in the arena. Yeah, great game design, guys
But Tarkus is nothing compared to the absolute bullshit of Chosen Undead.
I can at least hit Tarkus. Chosen rolls around like he is the second coming of Artorias. How the fuck are you supposed to hit this dodge rolling bastard of a tank when every single one of my attack has a laughably long wind up?
But even if I do manage to hit him, guess what! It doesn't fucking matter because somebody at fromsoft thought given him unlimited heals was a good idea.
Just punish the heals, you say, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO THAT WHEN ALL MY ATTACKS ARE SLOW AS FUCK!
And you would think with all these I would at least have some decent defense right? No, Tarkus alone can DPS me and that's when the Chosen Undead doesn't bust his broken ass magic out.
I kid you not, I saw this guy one shot me. ONE SINGLE ATTACK WAS ENOUGH TO KILL ME!
HOW THE FUCK IS THIS FAIR?
About half the fights I'm just so done I jump off the fortress.
Seriously, the fuck am I supposed to do? And don't give me that git gud bullshit.
Do I have to grind all the way to NG+7 to have a chance?
Fuck this game.
>>715585760 (OP)Wait a bit at the start of the fight so you don't whiff your wind blade projectile into the floor every single time. Also, unlock the "unfinished content" upgrade path to get the flamethrowers built into the pillars around the arena actually working, they're currently incomplete.
>>715585760 (OP)I appreciate the OC, anon.
1280x720
md5: 5e08c2e5000afa0cdb03fd48ab44b3db
🔍
>>715585760 (OP)That asshole interrupted my nap. After I chased him off, he killed all my friends and split my fucking skull open! My jobs to keep my friends in line and to keep that insane asylum in tip top shape. Every god damn day I have to deal with this bullshit. Im sick of it! Gwyn should be ashamed. Im not even supposed to be here, this was just a favor for Izalith. Im doing everyone a favor by being here and this is the treatment I get?? Im not even being payed! Fuck this bullshit.
>>715585760 (OP)Its been a literal decade and more since I played DS1, but isn't Iron Tarkus a summon right outside the iron golem fight to help the player, not someone you deal with during the battle?
>>715593963The art book indicates that the pillars around the arena were supposed to have flames shooting out of the gargoyle carvings' mouths.
>>715594437Aww man, that would have made the fight way more interesting.
>>715585760 (OP)tarkus is, and always has been, kino.
You DID get him to fall off of the arena before the Tarkus video dropped, right?
>>715585760 (OP)the iron golem fight is kino if you don't cheese it with tarkus
ah yes. the Iron Tarkus bossfight...
just admit you haven't played the fucking game.
>reddit spacing
>filled with seething
I simply do not read it.
>>715585760 (OP)Good thread
BTFOd all the low IQ people that can't read too, good work anon
>>715596041>>715587098>>715596132anons... the post is written from the perspective of the boss. it isn't someone seething that they can't beat the iron golem, it is the iron golem seething that he can't stop the player and black iron tarkus.
jesus, reading comprehension on this board is in an extremely grim and dire place.
Lol this thread is full of retards that didn't get it.
>>715596041> didn't get the joke> didn't even read the postSirs this is of not making the fromsoftwares looking good, ours posts should be of natural type and fitting in, harmony with the thread like plastic bags in the great river ganges
>>715596465I'll be honest buddy I would've read more than 2 words if you didn't format it so fucking horribly. You don't need a full doublespaced paragraph for every single sentence
>>715595330I'm surprised he gets referenced so rarely. At least they cared enough to put his armor into DS3. Hope there's gonna be a skin for the inevitable colossal greatsword character in Nightreign
>>715596563Fun fact: Go read any long post from before 2015 and see how they're formatted. Then look up when "reddit spacing" became a common phrase here.
It's literally a made up complaint by redfugees to pretend they fit in.
>>715585760 (OP)Why are you playing iron golem? Just play ornstein/smough they trivialize the game
>The chad Iron Tarkus
vs.
>The virgin Iron Markus
>>715596563i'm not OP, i am just pointing it out. besides, the tell is in the damn subject bar, it says tarkus and not iron golem. you came into this thread for SOME reason, yet you didn't even fully process the subject line. please, do everyone a favour and kill yourself. your limited brain capacity is a risk to others.
>>715596465I'm pretty sure those are pajeets or bots bro
>>715596702i doubt that they are bots. whatever they are, they need to be shamed for their absolute retardation.
>>715596687Since Nightreign flopped they've had the Dehli crew in overdrive flooding any seemingly negative fromsoft discussion online to "correct the record"
>>715596726I accept your concession, u/midnightbaconeer
>>715596645I didn't make a single mention of reddit spacing bubba i just said it's fucking horrid to read. People did absolutely not space big posts like that because it's really obnoxious to read
>>715596687yeah no I got it when it called it the iron tarkus fight but I didn't read the rest of it and my implication was that the anons probably didn't either hence the confusion
>>715585760 (OP)Bro wtf do you expect? You only get the cool moves if you pay for the Elden Ring DLC.
Honestly, the difference is night and day. you can hit people like 7 times, and you get unpredictable delays to fuck the rollspammers up. I'd suggest pre-nerf radahn. shit slaps for how babymode it is
>>715596847>respond to the post calling out anons who didn't get it and try to justify the responses>"noo i totally got it! i didn't read it but i understood!"again, kill yourself. you are a risk to others.
>>715596961Do you have a link to show you didn't edit that as a fag? /v/ sure has a lot of fags, hence the requirement for the source.
>>715599257You could've copypasted any bit of the OP into google in half the time it would've taken you to post that. I'm not hotlinking to that shithole.
>>715599437You would have us believe that you went to Reddit itself to screencap a post, but you refuse to then link it here? What high ground do you think you have? Just post the link to confirm you're not a photo-altering fag.
I’ve never knocked the golem off the edge. Just seems kinda annoying to do and I could just kill him by knocking him over normally anyway. It’s probably cool but meh.
>>715600558Still not spoonfeeding you.
>>715601294What do you think posting a screenshot of Reddit itself is? You already look like a fag, you just have the opportunity to look like less of a fag.
>not spamming wind axe
only got yourself to blame
