Thread 715620438

>donkey kong is a confirmed flop
What's next for switch 2 owners? No refunds

here's your you
actually nevermind

under what metrics

>What's next for switch 2 owners?
laughing at switch 2 seethe threads. case in point >>715620438 (OP)

How is it a flop?

OP has brown skin and owns a PS4

>>715620670
>>715620854
>>715620953
The reviews are not nearly good enough are the only exclusive.

>>715620438 (OP)
There is currently nothing next, that’s the joke. No future games have a release date outside of Pokemon in October.

Kek snoys coping hard from the latest Nintendo rape.

>>715621076
>donkey kong runs like shit on the switch 2
>pokemon is next
KEK

If this outsells the DKC trilogy, zoomers have won.

>>715620438 (OP)
>shartynig
If you’re gonna consolewar, at least put some effect in you mouth-breathing asset for three letter agencies

>>715620438 (OP)
>What's next for switch 2 owners
Ports and occasional first party. An odd Musou game. AA vidya dev is dead in Japan, so that doesn't help.

Waiting for that Direct I guess.

>>715621153
OH NO NO NO

>>715621153
i want nintendo to fail as much as the next anon but you cant take anything ign says seriously bro

>>715621270
>the guardian

LMFAOO

>>715620438 (OP)
Air Riders will save the Switch 2. I trust Sakurai.

Why did we let MS Paint slop overtake Photoshopping? And why are we still putting up with it when we now have AI?

>>715621075
Huh? It's the third highest rated game this year on Open Critic.

>>715621270
Sounds like he didn't play enough and rushed the review kek

>>715621270
Didn't that paper publish an article in favor of legalizing CP?

>Only 7 10/10 scores
>Not a single tendie site gave it a perfect score

OH NONONONONONONO

>>715622062
bros...donkey kong was supposed to save the console

>>715622062
IGN giving DK a 10 but not Nintendo Life is bizarre. Nintendo Life will naturally rate dog shit 10/10 as long as it says Nintendo on it.

>>715622204
>WHERES 3D MARIO GIVE ME MARIO NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
thats probably what is going to tank donkey kong on nintendo sites lol

>>715622204
i feel like this game just isn't for everyone.
i personally have zero interest in it, i probably wouldn't buy it even on sale.

>>715621076
And somehow still more games than the Ps5 in the last 2 years.

>>715622410
sfo v

>>715622062
Guess this destroys your narrative that "tendie" sites always inflate scores over shit like IGN, doesn't it, Eric?

To me it looks pretty boring and I don't like the redesign

>90/100
>It's a flop!!!
snoys literally grasping at straws to find anything bad to say about nintendo

>>715624867
90 isn't good enough to sell a console buddy

>>715621442
Because MS Paint slop has soul. Are you perhaps indian?

>>715625925
Yes it is. Watch the game sell millions of copies along with many new switch 2 orders

>>715622304
Making a sequel to an obscure Japan only Original Xbox game was an odd move, it's no wonder this isn't resonating.

>>715621153
This feels like IGN shilling to sell more switch 2 consoles

>>715626018
the tendie is delusional

>>715625925
>90 isn't good enough to sell a console buddy
say it with me. fastest selling console

>>715626236
Then how much do you think the game is going to sell?

>>715621153
>truly
that kind of adverb indicates a lie 100% of the time. just so you know

>>715626835
You truly aren’t a faggot

>>715620438 (OP)
Maybe Nintendo should've been more focused on making a fun game instead of low-effort pedobait?

>only 12 hours to beat the main story
>70$
LMOA

>>715627970
The IGN reviewer said he was around 50 hours in with 50% completion rate.

>>715627970

I know this is a foreign concept to movieslop enjoying snoytroons but actual video games typically have more to do past the "main story".

>>715620438 (OP)
What flavour of Pringies is your fave? Flame grilled steak is my current personal fave Pringies

>>715626564
snoy can't fathom this

>>715628412
Pizza

>>715628412
>Flame grilled steak

Where the fuck do you get these? My Publix only has the basic bitch flavors. The Dollar Tree has the Hot Ones flavors, I like the green one but god damn that shit burns me up.

I look forward to the rage from the sales threads.

>>715622204
>Nintendo Life will naturally rate dog shit 10/10 as long as it says Nintendo on it.
No they aren't, you haven't watched any video of them, they usually go:
> "This game is amazing and changes the way we see gaming. 8 out of 10"

>>715620438 (OP)
is this hasan piker with a shaved head?

The famitsu thread tomorrow is gonna be so great.

>>715629646
Sadly we won't see DK on it for a few weeks.

>>715629304
My local convenience store run by pakis will some times have new stuff earlier than the big stores

>>715621153
>>715622062
>>715626564
Its 75 without Nintendo bonus

>>715629979
Important to note is that Ryza released during the whole "anything japanese must be censored or its sexist" era of PS4 censorship, so of course to the nintendo outlets appreciated lewd games way more.

>>715630182
There are hundreds of examples, the Nintendo bonus is real.

>>715620438 (OP)
>slagging Pringles

Since when were Pringles bad?

>>715630693
When Walmart gave free Coke and Pringles to anyone that bought a Switch 2.

>>715621270
The guardian review games?

>>715630763
I mean it works I guess. You get some extra incentive, Walmart get's rid of some Switch 2's and some Cokes/Pringles that were near their best by date anyway.

>>715630294
the anti donkey kong bonus is also real.

>>715630942
Have any examples from this decade? Tropical Freeze was underwhelming but still scored ridiculously high at an 86 on memecritic.

>>715630763
Your telling me i get these delicious pringles and coke free, with a vaci- i mean switch 2?

>>715631250
Well, not anymore. Just at the launch event.

>>715620438 (OP)
Didn't ign literally just give it a ten?

>>715632171

Yes, and everyone else gave it a 9.

>>715632171
so far only 11 review sites have given it 10/10.

I have NDS fatigue

>>715628412
Sour cream and onion

>>715620438 (OP)
I engaged with some drones on a normie forum by asking how the Switch 2 was an upgrade when the screen is objectively a downgrade and slow as first gen LCD monitors. All they could do was repeat how it's an upgrade and "I can't tell a difference" or "it seems fine to me".

I don't think there's anything to gain there unless you want to peer into humanity and disappoint yourself.

>>715633323
No one cared about the screen until "tech experts" started making videos about it.

>>715633659
"Reject the evidence of your eyes and ears." It was Nintendo's final, most essential command

>>715633659
>"tech experts"
>even non-experts noticed it was a shit screen
>drones still continue to slurp the corporate cock
yikes kiddo

>>715631061
tropical freeze has an 83 on metacritic and /v/ constantly fellates it as one of the GOAT platformers. NSMBU is rated higher than tropical freeze.

>>715632171
And even in their review they were saying it should have been a Mario game.

>>715634025
>>715634114
samefaggot cuck

>>715634745
>you're a cuck because you won't surrender your hard earned money to a soulless corporate who would sell you air if they could
>in fact, they once sold their customers literal cardboard
So that's what the term means

>>715634573
>/v/
famiboards is not /v/, never listen to people whos only experience with platformers is first party nintendo.

>>715630763
They only gave me a coke. The wage must have stolen my Pringles.

>>715634573
>>715631061
Casuals got completely wrecked by the difficulty, so naturally journalists didn’t like it as much.

>>715635512
>tropic freeze
>difficult
that's a new one

>>715635379
Tropical Freeze is rated highly. Cope

>>715634025
>>715634114

You "rejected" the evidence for weeks until you got your marching orders from sloptube grifters. This is known and documented. You lose, again and always.

>>715635586
You must have used items and didn’t play hard mode. Gamepro gave it a 6/10 saying it was cheap. The game is definitely challenging, but not impossible if you don’t beat hard mode with DK and don’t get gold on all the time trials.

Why did they make it so easy?

>>715635801
What evidence did I reject?

The only sloptubers I watch are Project Farm and Home Renovision, btw

>>715635801
>sloptube grifters
>paid $500 for an LCD screen from 2007 from the biggest vidya slop company in the industry who shits out the same exact games from the same exact IPs more often than Call of Duty.
lmao
pretty sloppy indeed

>>715635704
>A bunch of retards like this
OK

>>715635985
I completed it on Wii U and gave you the talking points you're trying to use now, it's an unimpressive platform game reliant on set pieces for novelty. Goes a way on first impressions but doesn't hold up for skilled expression. The Rare games were significantly better for this. It's a very easy platform game and has many safe guards for less skilled players and too many guard rails for skilled players. It's no Umihara Kawase and it becomes very apparent people praising tropic freeze don't play many platform games but desperately want to be perceived as learned and knowledgeable. Might be better off leaving that in the comments of GMTK or Turbo Button videos.

>>715634025
I can assure you I’ve tried my hardest to see the ghosting issues that four eyed faggot John Linneman claims he sees. I tested multiple 2D games as he suggested. Even though clearly he needs some sophisticated equipment to even notice and document it. No one with the naked eye can see it. It’s fake outrage from obsessive spergs like yourself.

>>715636810
>seethes when proven wrong about /v/ liking tropical freeze
You were literally using /v/ as an escape goat and then got proven wrong with that pic. COPE and SEETHE

>>715638919
>Fake outrage! I think Nintendo should release another version with an even worse screen and worst performance. I mean, I can't even tell a difference! Who the hell can see more than 24fps anyway? You have to be seriously looking for something wrong to notice it!
Ah, the life of the corporate cuck. I wonder how much they get paid.

whats the metacritic score?

>>715639316
sitting currently at 90

>>715621153
sir thank you for rape warning against snoy dalits

>>715628412
I prefer the plain ones but my store never has those in stock.

Switch 2 hate is kinda forced ngl

>>715636810
>it's an unimpressive platform game reliant on set pieces for novelty
Wrong. The set pieces tell a story and make the levels memorable without feeling like some kind of distraction to the gameplay. It sounds like you want 2D platformers to be as boring as possible to make them feel “pure.”

> Goes a way on first impressions but doesn't hold up for skilled expression

There’s several characters with different abilities and several types of levels including the barrel rocket levels. There’s your “skilled expression,” you pretentious fool. The only thing that can make it easy is if you use items, which I did not. Those are optional.

> It's no Umihara Kawase and it becomes very apparent people praising tropic freeze don't play many platform games but desperately want to be perceived as learned and knowledgeable

I can’t take you seriously. No one gives a shit about your faggy obscure anime platformer. I’ve never heard of it until I looked it up, and that does not change the fact that I’ve been playing 2D platformers for 30 years since the snes. You’re worse than soulsfags. A try hard loser with a needle dick trying to prove he’s the most hardcore. TF is challenging for most of us mortals. You and your autism are good for TF.

>>715639248
What are you talking about? My eyes are completely incapable of seeing this. So are DF, because they need to slow it down to notice anything. My vision is nearly perfect, whereas Johnny boy is wearing some thick goggles. You only had the talking point after they said it. Because no one noticed.there are plenty of criticisms for the switch 2, but that isn’t one of them.

>>715629335
>>715632373
Kys loser

>>715630182
>Slightly more sexual character design somehow boosts the score by 15 points
ok

>>715620438 (OP)
nothing wrong with pringles

>>715640140
>The set pieces tell a story
All gimmicks over gameplay. You might clap when the animal puppets dance but it's a little too twee and gay and reveals the hand of the developer. It's hardly a platformer, it's a rhythm game. This applies to all other levels once you break down how predictable they are.
>It sounds like you want 2D platformers
It sounds like you want novelty, because you do.
>There’s several characters with different abilities
You have easy kong, easier kong, easiest kong, and now featuring plays itself for you kong. Huge gradient of skilled expression. You want an easy platformer that puts on a show for you. You've said as much. Why settle with this when there's hundreds of others that do that but better? Is it the branding on this one?
>obscure
That's the answer I was looking for. It's not about gameplay, not about aesthetics or mechanics, level design, it's about the brand.

That's why you're here. You want your little brand to be celebrated. I don't care for that.

Very organic

>>715644213
he has no life outside of this board

Tendies lost

>>715644213
Thursday is going to be a complete shitshow.

Ok but did Dunkey like it? His opinion is the only one that matters.

>>715645325
This

Kill yourself jaknigger.

>>715620438 (OP)
>"S-stop bring up sales! sales don't matter!"
>"donkey kong is a confirmed flop"
Make up your mind, snoy

>>715640439
You need to get your vision checked and your driver's license needs to be revoked, assuming your parents forced you to get one.

>>715647730
Both can be true