Our guy Griffin Gaming liked it. It's over

>everyone praising this game
>no webms
Curious.

>>715724557
no emus = not alot of webms.

>>715724413 (OP)
I know this gets said a lot ironically or in jest, but literally who?

>>715724704
petah

>>715724704
a chud

Sorry, shills. Looks like the reviews are in. Da Vinci’s famous Lisa is probably pissing herself, crying and shitting in shame. There is no arching narrative, nothing that can top the exposition of the crack-monkey and banana. There is no beauty that can light upon Pauline’s virgin pussy. There is no Beethoven that could twinkle a key across the span of the EPIC THEME (again, fifth or sixth time it has been in a game). There is no open world, no sandbox that is so open and destructible, no car in grand theft auto could ever hope to float in the air without other textures and explode like the gold nuggets of literal GOLD in Disney Kong. The epic songs about shit like being friends (fucking EPIC) I will sing with others like the fucking angel chorus of Heaven as we stare infinitely into this massive, 400-hour deep game.

There’s your astroturf, amateur

>>715724557

Son, everything has been leaked on youtube. The final fight is K. Rool in a 40-minute fight with 3 phases

>>715724852
Kino

I haven’t played a DK game before. As a big fan of Odyssey, how much would I enjoy this? I haven't seen any webms of Donkey Kong doing any platforming. It's always just punching the terrain. Is that all there is?

Who needs a whale in pages thick,
When barrels roll and hammers click?
A jungle romp, a primate’s flair,
Beats Ishmael’s brooding, salty air.

Donkey Kong with golden prize,
Leaps through danger, claims the skies.
While Melville’s prose can sometimes drag,
DK swings with pixel brag.

No endless talk of whales and fate—
Just jump, collect, and celebrate!
So leave the Pequod, join the fun—
Banana wins when all is done

Id rather wait for fellow 4channer and based cynic synthetic man to do his review. I wonder if bananza has any woke stuff in it

SOVL

>>715724413 (OP)
why the naked feet though

>>715724413 (OP)
Okay, you made that guy up

oh

I don't understand the hate for this game. It's just as fun as the DKC games and for the first time in history, actually makes Donkey Kong feel like a strong force smashing everything his path rather than a basedboy ape that dies from getting touched by an armadillo.

>>715727126
Because it's new.

>>715727126
sonygroes are on massive damage control on their discord

>>715724413 (OP)
based and redpilled

>>715724557
>it's gonna suck!
>well okay it doesn't suck but it's 5 hours long!
>okay 100% completion is over 30 hours but people won't like it!
>okay people like it but nobody is posting webms on this one mongolian basket weaving forum!
you lost

>>715724557
it's a weekday and people have gotten their copies like 1-2 hours ago
>>715727126
it's literally just artificial TORtanic rage towards a new Nintendo game. every single flaw this game has is gonna be treated like a gamebreaking experience. the game wasn't packaged with a personal blowjob machine, so it already lost as far as shitposters are concerned