Hello /v/ I'm in Japan trying to buy a physical copy of Xenogears to play on my Japanese PS1 right now. But I've got a bit of a situation on my hands.

I just took a big fat shit on the Tokyo Metro. After dumping my big fat shit all over the seat, I picked up a bunch of it with my bare hands and smeared it on the hair of the young lady sitting near me. She screamed and tried to run away, but I grabbed her hair, inadvertently smearing more shit all over it, and threw her to the ground. I then sat on top of her and continued smearing my big fat shit, this time on her face too. I made sure to force her mouth open and put some in there for good measure.

Is what I just did illegal? Will I be in trouble with the law for doing this? I'm currently wandering around outside with shit smeared all over my clothes - I wiped my hands on myself so I could make this post - and I'm wondering what to do.

>>>trv

>>716045830 (OP)
stay calm, xenogears isnt gonna run away

>>716046178
Thanks. I'll make this post asking for help there, too.
>>716046229
Okay, but what do I do? There are some girls freaking out nearby. Should I attempt to smear my shit on them as well? There's some left on my clothes, and I could pop out a few more of them just for the purpose as well.

>>716045830 (OP)
Don't worry OP that stuff's legal over there
When you get to the shop make sure to ask them if they have battletoads

>>716045830 (OP)
Tell her to clean it up.

>>716046856
This meme has got to be two decades old at this point. Have you been around for that long?
>>716046878
I'm already outside. I'm gonna go smear shit on the girls who are freaking out near me and tell them to clean it up. I will do it Marie Kondo style.