Ganondorf and Bowser won.
https://www.gamesradar.com/games/super-mario/like-link-and-zelda-nintendo-insists-mario-and-peach-are-just-good-friends-and-anything-else-is-just-mushroom-kingdom-gossip-so-i-guess-30-years-of-kissing-means-nothing-to-you/

You can kiss your friends anon :3 I do it all the time~

>>716368693 (OP)
yes because zelda and peach are actually mine

>>716368693 (OP)
Kek, Nintendo gave up and catered to NTR chads

Did a couple of words from an app need a whole entire article?
Did you need to share it on a taiwanese basket-weaving forum?

>>716368751
While driving with my friend, I accidentally grab his leg instead of the gearstick. We both burst out laughing. In the heat of the moment, I unzip his pants and park the car while fondling his balls. My friend is cracking up because he knows it’s just a joke. I start sucking his dick in this empty parking lot, nearly choking because I’m laughing so hard. My friend is losing it, laughing his ass off, making train noises and yelling, “BROJOB! BROJOB! CHOO CHOO!” He cums, and I swallow it all like some stupid fuck. I kiss my friend, call him “daddy” while still laughing. Then he sucks my dick, choking from laughing. I cum, and he swallows it like a dumbass.

The only reason Link and Zelda aren't a couple is because Link has like ten other love interests
Even then the last three games (SS, BOTW, TOTK) are heavy on the Zelink shipping

>>716368693 (OP)
Link and Zelda breed in some eras but not all of them. Twilight Princess and Ocarina of Time he clearly did not end up with Zelda.

ZELINKTROONS ARE YOU OK
ARE YOU OK ZELINKTROONS

>>716368693 (OP)
Cucktendo
This is the company you defend tendies.

>>716368693 (OP)
>Ganondorf won
Link murdered him so no

In what world does a manlet plumber ever get a 10/10 woman?

Hmm...

>>716369191
IN A WORLD

This was confirmed with the ending of Odyssey for Mario and Peach
>Bowser won
He literally didn’t she turned both of them down. The only thing he won was Mario’s sympathies.

>>716368693 (OP)
Mario has better options.

>>716368693 (OP)
it's the same character profile they reused from 3 years ago retard and the jp version is different.

>>716368693 (OP)
Didn't Zelda and Link kiss a few times?

>>716369075
I'm doing ok.

>>716368693 (OP)
This kind is shit was why I diversified my childhood memories of video games. I always knew taxpayer money shouldn't be used to fund escapism media.

>>716368693 (OP)
Mario is obviously fucking Pauline.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoPnJTaNSrc

>not being animalistic breeders
based

>>716369364
Really weird AI post.

Now the question has to be asked, why are they trying so hard to save them if they will always just be friends? Not many people would go that far to save a friend unless they are true absolute best friend material. Something close to a Bonny & Clyde or Thelma & Louise. A plumber wouldn't go through fighting mutant turtles and going through countless castles just to save a girl because they are good at conversation. A hero of time wouldn't travel through time and space, turn into a wolf, get annoyed by a takling sword and dress in drag to infiltrate Gerudo territory just to save a princess just to be congratulated for saving a kingdom. A guy hero isn't that altruistic or pure to do that.

>>716369427
Explain picrel tendie faggot.

>>716369489
Glad to see Samus' transition went wel.

>>716369368
It's all starting to make sense.

>>716369489
Genuinely incomprehensible response to an incomprehensible post. Can't believe dumbass console war bullshit is just bot posts.

>>716369616
>no argument
Takes one to know one.

>peach
8/10
>daisy
9/10
>rosalina
11/10
>pauline
10/10
>goombella
7/10
>vivian
lol
>zelda
10/10
>malon
11/10
>marin
11/10
>din
8/10
>nayru
8/10
>tetra
10/10
>midna
10/10
>hena
11/10
>agatha
kys
>fi
kys

>>716368693 (OP)
>Cuckario
>Cuckink

>link and zelda share a bed in TotK
>just friends
what

>>716369554
its fucking over

>>716369459
White boys are cucks, simple as that. Heroes in real life are losers. Everything that is painted as "good" and "moral" is dogshit. I used to have close friends when I was a boy. When I became a man I realized they're all backstabbers in the making or just didn't fit my vibe anymore, so I cut them all out. A real man doesn't need friends, doesn't need anyone but himself.

>YOU GUYS THE TELETUBBIES ARE OFFICIALLY NOT HAVING FOURWAY SEX OFF SCREEN EVERY DAY
but we all know they are

>>716368693 (OP)

>>716368693 (OP)
Simptendo
Betatendo
NTRtendo

>>716368693 (OP)
What guy IS good enough for Peach and Zelda then?

>>716369681
>Argument
Okay let's break this down:
>This is why I diversify my childhood memories
What, like a stock portfolio? This genuinely means nothing. This is a sentence that means nothing. No human would say this.
>This is why taxpayer funded escapism is wrong
Doesn't support the previous nonsensical statement. Doesn't apply to Nintendo. Really just seems like a /biz/ post very barely configured for /v/.
>American art of male Samus
>Explain this
Absolutely not a reply to anything at all. Unrelated to the thread. Don't even think this would get someone angry in any context.
>No argument
Really can't believe someone would make such a dogshit bot and put it in KEYWORD: MARIO ZELDA threads when it can't even post anything legible.

>>716369253
Peach wants to be a wine aunt. Mario will end up with Pauline who is superior. Bowser will die single too.

>>716369489
>but his true form is shrouded in mystery
Samus being a girl was literally an endgame spoiler.

>>716370179
They gave Pauline a fat ass in Mario Kart and she has big breast. She’s anti-woke.

>>716370220
I can't tell if this is AI or Mobile art

>>716370272
If you haven’t noticed yet, the two genres merged shortly after the former’s introduction.

>>716370139
>tendie
Post dismissed.

>>716368693 (OP)
I mean this was pretty obvious. Initially Peach kissed Mario and was always getting rescued. Then it turned into just thanking him. Then it became she was playable. In her last appearance where she was rescued she outright rejects Mario's proposal and goes to travel the world. The fact that they intentionally wrote that instead of him getting a kiss or anything just shows they don't want to pair them together.
My thoughts are they want Mario to be as squeaky clean as possible with no implications of anything over a PG rating. Zelda they give a bit more leeway, because even in the newest one they still at least imply Link and Zelda are a thing, but Zelda is inherently a bit more mature and violent (as cartoony as it is).

>>716370363
I'm going to keep replying to this bot so it says something deranged again.

>>716369215
They made Mario a transwoman?

>>716368693 (OP)
KEKED TO DEATH

>>716370396
>the word "tendie" is deranged
Your post was dismissed for a reason.

>tendies are so desperate that they program bots to make it look like they're not the deranged ones
OH NONONONONONONONONONONO

>>716370442
No.

>>716368693 (OP)
>tendies are literal 30yo cucks and simps

>>716370543
It's over, it's stuck in a loop.

>>716370549
kek.

>>716368693 (OP)
This is why we all japanese should vote for the Sanseito, women are there for procreation, the w in west stands for woke but this arent our ways, make Japan great again!

>>716369994
They don't, but that vacuum robot thing gives incredible SLUUUUUURP

>Nintendo makes Mario x Bowsette canon.

>>716368693 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK21eO-tPDw

>Link is just friends with Zelda
Good, that just confirms what i already knew about link and redhead girls whose name start with M. TP Link will find a way to go to the twilight realm and become Midna's eternal royal consort.

>>716368693 (OP)
nintards love to watch
zelda enjoys BIG BLACK GANONDORF COCK
peach enjoys BIG BROWN BOWSER COCK

>>716368693 (OP)
I see, so OoT Link did end up with Malon after all

>>716369994
Porn destroyed your mind.
Get help.

>>716369215
>that hair to mustache comparison
fucking LMAO holy shit that got me

>>716370216
To the male samus artist's defence, there was nothing in the manual that said it didn't describe everything in the game.

What's the deal with shippingfags anyway? Is it really that crucial that the protagonist and the main girl have to be in a relationship? Mario and Zelda especially never focused on romance, so why are you guys pushing for it now?

>Meanwhile Nintnedo continues to be silent when it comes to Luigi and Daisy

Confirmed that those two are fucking like rabbits.

>>716368693 (OP)
>the tranny named eric won
>tendies lost
FUCKING KEK I KNEEL ERICSAMA

>>716370993
https://www.thehits.co.nz/spy/the-actress-who-played-po-on-teletubbies-ended-up-doing-lesbian-porn/

>>716370940
Malon's a rancher, just imagine how strong her hips are.

'people' tracking down Nintendo lore really should just give the fuck up. It's worse than MLP fanfic writers. The corporation in charge is just doing things willy-nilly and there will never be a definitive 'lore' and any 'secrets' you find are just trite happenstance coincidences. Jump man isn't a different character and Pauline is just a throw back that got revived. The whole marriage of Mario and Peach gimmick is just that, a gimmick. Donkey Kong doesn't have a lineage, it's just a new game for a new design. Hang up the goofy ass nonsense you are clinging too, you'll never have a real answer and the next Mario or DK game will flip the script again. Hopefully with a new princess overall just to freak everyone out again.

>>716371109
Because even Nintendo agrees Luigi deserves the best things in life. Big ass mansion, hot tomboy girlfriend, sick thunder powers...who gives a fuck if Toads treat Luigi like shit? Those faggots are almost literal cannon fodder, most people respect Toads even less than Luigi.

>>716371163
It's quite simple to think about it
Malon, wearing a cowboy hat while link is laying on a table, a thin one that replicates riding an actual horse, and she is going maximum yeehaw until the table breaks (it won't break, Lon Lon Ranch carpentry is built strongly)

>>716371106
>Why do fags care about the literal crux of a damsel in distress story?
>Just because this is the entire point of this entire set-up and has been this way for thousands of years doesn't mean it has to be this way now.
Appeal to tradition, but regardless, this is literally the reason. The hero gets the girl. I know that you're 10 years old, you've only seen the subversion where people make fun of the guy for being a simp, and you think looking at a girl for more than 5 seconds makes you "totally a diddy bruh". But only 20 years ago it was totally fucking normal to think someone would go out of their way to save a girl because the two of them are in love.

>>716371294
>sick thunder powers
Too bad they didn't brought those back in M&L Brothership, i miss Luigi doing a shinshoryuken (advanced hammer technique in SSS if i recall correctly)

>>716371163
Don't let her cuteness fool you - caring for livestock requires a firm hand at times, to settle a cow when they get spooked by the thunder or drag a stubborn horse back to the stable, to say nothing of the heavy lifting daily chores like moving hay bales and crates. Talon is built like an ox, and sure Ingo can do some things, but for Lon Lon Ranch to thrive Malon has to pitch in as well.
What I'm saying is our cute little farm girl with a beautiful voice is also physically strong as fuck.

>>716368693 (OP)
KEK

>>716371346
A lotta projecting there champ. Mario & Peach may get along and she may kiss him for saving her, but they are not fucking, nor are they married. Same with most Zeldas and Links. The fact that people took Odyssey's ending seriously speaks for itself. I repeat, Mario and Zelda are the last franchises you go for romance or couples among the main cast.

Oh, Goddess Hylia. She is gonna break that Fairy Boy.

>>716368693 (OP)
yeah no shit they're friends, because they're not together and never will be on screen. but it's obvious Mario wants her. He's always enamored when he gets a kiss from her, Odyssey ends with Mario and Bowser fighting over her gifting her flowers, and the Mario movie hints at romance.

>>716371714
Oh don't worry about Link, he hit the Goron gym in termina and he can take on her.

So is there anyone here who still look forwards to the movie? I know I don't.

>>716368693 (OP)
That'll be a ESG boost. Their ESG score was starting to lower too much..

>Cucktendo forcing cuck shit on their fanbase

Funny.

>>716371957
Mario might have a daughter.

>>716371875
Why is it Live-action? We're gonna get CGI Zora and Gorons and etc, and it's probably gonna look not great.

It's shocking just how better Malon is than Zelda.

>>716371954
>2022
Post recent version, I want to see if Sony went down like its showing in the chart.

>>716368693 (OP)
Fucking faggot corporations afraid of healthy heterosexual relationships. They are all a bunch of cowards and sellouts. I hope losing their soul was worth it (it never is).

Doesn't Zelda literally confess to Link or have blatant romantic feelings for him in one of the games? Pretty sure it was BOTW or something.

>>716368693 (OP)
This is literally just the retard article writer's interpretation. All Nintendo said is "Mario and Peach are good friends." No shit they're friends, we already knew that, no one ever thought Mario and Peach are already married or boyfriend girlfriend. There's an implied romance that will simply never be explored because it's Mario.

>>716371658
>Projecting
What am I projecting? Being a normal fucking person? I'm calling you a kid because you call it "shipping" as though Prince Charming rescuing Rapunzel from a tower and marrying her after is something only an internet-poisoned mind would think of. Calling it "shipping" is offensive to any normal fucking person who would just say, "Yeah of course Mario and Peach are a couple, right?" because that's just the general vibe.

If you're such a childish, sex-adverse freak of nature, this argument has nowhere to go. It doesn't really matter. In the end, this ambiguity which lets your delusional bullshit seep in through the cracks is literally just Shigeru Miyamoto being a massive fucking autist who makes massive corporate decisions based entirely on stupid shit like, "Mario doing a peace sign is too childish. We need to stop him doing a peace sign to appeal to a more mature audience."

>>716372265
Skyward Sword

Last 3 mainline 3D Zelda games heavily implied romance. SS had a lot of anime-tier cringy flirting scenes, and heavily implied that Link had a crush on Zelda, and botw/tears heavily implied that Zelda developed feelings for Link.

Why are zoomers so afraid of sex? And I mean sex, not faggot sodomy or lesbian ERP.

>>716372265
Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom do imply she's down bad for Link a lot.

>>716372475
>>716372538
Yeah, so this shit makes zero fucking sense. Why did Nintendo say this and try to do blatant erasure?

>>716372265
The only Zelda game in which Zelda actually appears in that doesn't have heavy Link x Zelda implications is Twilight princess

>>716372532
>muh gen z

>>716372480
God wrinkly kong is so hot...

>>716372673
I can not tell you, it's bizarre. You see it in a lot of other Japanese Game IPs just how rare a Main Character is to be in a committed relationship.

>>716372336
>I'm calling you a kid because you call it "shipping"
Because I'm talking about the shippers in particular who invest so much time in Mareach and Zelink to an obnoxious extent. Those games were never about romance. Simple as. Charming and Rapunzel are apples and oranges compared to those two ships.
>If you're such a childish, sex-adverse freak of nature
Again, stop projecting. You're taking my stance on this as seriously as the shippers and I think you're one of them, hence the hostility. Before you respond, just remember that you're using a Japanese creation for your culture war. Take a breath and re-evaluate yourself.

You know who didn't get cucked?

>>716370179
>Bowser will die single too.
Storks delivered him a son, he has Bowser Jr to look after him in his old years
Peach will have no one.

>>716368693 (OP)
monarchist propaganda
peasants should marry into royalty

>>716372993
Amy?

>>716368938
Read. Heard. Seen.

fookin high quality thread you got there mate
top stuff

>>716371720
>>716369253
Odyssey had the biggest Bowser victory because she thought about it
For the first time he actually asked her and her brain went
>Hmm, should I marry Bowser?
instead of reflexively going
>Why the FUCK would I marry the monster that keeps kidnapping me and demolishing my kingdom?!

For the first time ever, Bowser is canonically in the running

>>716372995
That's not exactly certain.
If we were to get a Super Mario Sunshine sequel as two different Nintendo Direct leaks have described, I think we might see Bowser's ex-wife and Bowser Jr.'s real mama.

>>716373150
Yes, Amy was the one cucked.

>>716373335
retard she only said no to bowser because mario was watching so she would've lost her eternal simp to settle for when she needs the beta bucks

>>716370851
Midna is such a turd of a character.

>>716369707
Link mogs all of them thoughever

>>716368693 (OP)
>worst ship CONFIRMED annihilated
>2x
Paulinebros...
Literally any woman that isn't Zeldabros...
We won. Just like that, it is done.

>>716373778
Are you ready for a new era of Super Mario?

>>716368693 (OP)
Men and women cannot be "just fiends." One always secretly wants to fuck the other. Every.Single.Time

>>716369215
>lost pauline jr
>gained grandma lady
>which therefore implies the existence of grandpa jumpman
It wasn't the worst trade.

>>716373871
Please leave.

>>716368693 (OP)
>confirm this after rampant speculation that Kid Pauline in Bananza is Mario and Pauline's daughter
Based.

>>716373335
>Odyssey had the biggest Bowser victory
I mean, let's not forget Sunshine.
>"Mama? I'm...your mama?"
Instead of
>"Fuck no, kid, I am NOT your fucking mom, I fucking hate your dad."

>>716374078
Peach is not Bowser Jr.'s mama.
Bowser's Ex-wife is Bowser Jr.'s mama.

>>716373986
Why?

>>716372995
>Peach will have no one.
She's literally royalty. There's probably a toad whose only role is to unclog her toilet after her big stinky shits. She'll be fine, but toadstool kingdom is gonna descend into bloody civil war when she dies. Welp, not her problem

>>716368693 (OP)
Good, our vidya heroes are now more relatable to us /v/ros. We couldn't get the princess either. They like us frfr

>>716369707
>>fi
>kys
no u
My sword is the most devoted girl in the entire franchise. Her game is abysmal dogshit that killed the series, though.

BING BING WAHOO

>>716368938
Is this your first time dealing with content from a gaming news website?

>>716374360
Link has a harem of qt fish girls to bang.
We are not the same.

>>716370179
>Gave her a Wii Bike suit that's unique from the others AND it's famicom-themed
>NO OTHER COSTUMES
Fucking

>>716371389
Nintendo needs to make a lightning power-up asap so this gets resolved.
I'd take the Volt Shroom from Paper Mario being True CannonTM at minimum, but I'd like somethin more unique.

>>716371109
Daisy is best girl.

>>716374176
I know that. The game outright says it. But it's the fact that Peach isn't completely freaked out that this little obviously-Bowser's-son kid is calling her mama. She's not totally revolted at the thought of in any way being seen as Bowser Jr.'s mama, just a little confused as to why he'd think that. That is a huge win for Bowser, because you'd assume if she hated him she'd immediately set the record straight.

>>716372067
It's live-action because of Illumination.
They almost certainly put Nintendo into a 'all animated movies not done in house must go to us first' contract. So that Illumination basically has carte blance control on making them for 10-20 years.
After all the fighting and feuds to keep out antijapanese meme pathogens from the Mario movie Nintendo likely doesn't want to work with them beyond pre agreed shit (like mario movie 2 + DK movie), thus needs to do live action.
But they'll have to fight twice as hard to purge the poison due to it.

>>716374283
Your autism is just too much. Why do you want this so badly?

>>716375062
I'm not exactly sure.
Perhaps it's fatigue from the Mario and Peach formula?

>>716375062
You don't get it anon, Miyamoto himself confirmed this canon via ransom notes. Nintendo wants to push Mario and Pauline and I can prove it via information from 3-decade old US-release guide books.

>>716375205
Well I just asked my uncle who works for Nintendo. Not only did he say you are wrong (as usual), but he said you probably enjoy cocks as well

>>716372993
My FUARKING HERO

>>716374735
To be fair she was probably utterly caught off guard and in complete shock from such a statement her brain fried trying to figure out what's going on.
Happens to plenty of people in RL.

>>716370220
>Game Over
More like Game Starting if you ask me.

>>716376318
Yes.

>>716368693 (OP)
This is just clickbait things. It would be weird for a children's game for it to say mario and peach are lovers and help each other out.

The zelda one is the producer being evasive answering. People fantasizing about link x pretend is a giant thing in the fanbase.

>>716368693 (OP)
>Ganondorf and Bowser won.
green cock is just too good

>>716368693 (OP)
Linkbros...

>>716368693 (OP)
oh no?

>>716376465
Why would that be weird? Kid's cartoon do it all the time although now days is homoshit.

>>716369356

>>716377086
homoshit is fine if its two cute girls

>>716376443
DAMN Wendy O'Koopa turns into THAT?!
Yikes...time was rough on her.

>>716377086
Has Nintendo ever used romantic language that was reciprocated? It seems like whenever someone expresses overtly they're always mocked or shutdown.

>>716370272
Look at lil' Pauline's feet
before you shoot rope you sick fuck, count her toes
Hag Pauline's earrings (her left in particular) look sus. The eyes look weird too, like seperate assests pasted on her face

>>716368693 (OP)
"Just friends" is code for "they fuck like dirty base animals."

zelink sisters...

>>716375062
It's simple pattern recognition.

>>716377415
NTA but a few times. Mostly with tertiary characters, butt still.
Off the top of my head:
>Honey/Darling from Zelda OoT and MMask
>Anju/Kafei from MMask
>Paper Mario TTYD: Koops/Koopie Koo
>The Yetis in the snow palace in Twilight Princess. Also Midna and myself
>Link/Mipha in BotW

>fake mario fans think peach has to love mario because.... he saves her from being kidnapped
Real chud logic at work here.

>>716377992
>prince haru

Mario is a working class hero, his job as a professional damsel savior is how he makes a living.

>>716377473
Should be Ganon cucking Zelda with Link
>Well EXCUUUUUSE me, Princess, but I'm just a sissy slut for Big Gerudo Cock! *ah!* *so good!* *HIYAAAA!~*

>>716378129
Which is why he'll never go any further with Peach - don't shit where you eat, as they say.
It's also why Luigi is allowed to date Daisy - he's rich, so he doesn't have to worry about bills, meaning he can date whatever princess he wants and not worry about it.

>>716369554
Is that Metroid's girlfriend?

>>716368693 (OP)
>like Link and Zelda
okay that's going too far, we all know they fucked

>>716378946
Nah they just slept next to each other in the same bed with clothes on. And played board games. Look, totk link is just gay, thats why hes not interested. Only OOT Link and Skyward Sword Link are confirmed Chads

>>716368693 (OP)
there was a great radio id on my old college station that ran:
>I'm Henry Rollins and I advise you to touch yourself, touch your friends, but don't touch that dial

Zelda and peach’s black boyfriends are so lucky

>>716368938
Yes.

>>716379950
How tf did Glenn Danzig end up being the more based punk guy than this cringey faggot?

>>716375203
You will never get your big, epic jawdropping bing, bing wahoo game plot twist. You are wrong and retarded just like every other crackpot faggot before you. The only difference is they fucked off when the game came out and didn't support their dumbshit fanfictions.

>>716368693 (OP)
Why are Nintendo character such cucks?

>>716368693 (OP)
He was the best karter in the galaxy, and a cunning jumper. I hear you’ve become something of a karter yourself…
And he was a good friend

>>716368693 (OP)
Lol you kinda feel bad for that nigga mario always saving peach but she cant slide him some pussy after mario really might be the biggest simp in gaming

>>716373748
Absolute shitiest opinion in the thread unironically. The only people who don't like midna are the pussies who get an ally raped over her being a little rude to you at the beginning of the game.

>>716368693 (OP)
Bowser won...

>>716368693 (OP)
Zelda got GROOOOSED

>>716368693 (OP)
I can understand Link and Zelda because they aren't the same person every time but mario has literaly saved peach many dozens of times at this point. I guess Bowser is canonically fucking her and Mario's just her simp.

>>716368693 (OP)
Straight men are so cucked.

>>716369707
Peach is a 10
>blonde
>blowjob lips
>dumb as a brick expression

>>716369291
>trannies
>better option
DESPERATE

>>716368693 (OP)
If you can suck your friends off without it being gay, of course they can kiss and still be just good friends