My childhood heroes were Jimmy Paterson, Tanner and Garrett
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:51:32 PM No.716479642
>>716479497 I'm not 10 anymore. I need my characters to grow up with me. If these 3 get with their girlfriends it increases my chances of having a gf. Symbiosis they call it, or synchronicity or something. Nintendo wants me to sit in the Best Western hotel cuck chair it seems.
Sega thinks Sonic should be freedom incarnate which means keeping girls at arms length. Mario has no excuse to be single outside of Nintendo mandates. Crash had a loyal girlfriend that got taken by him from Universal caving into armchair psychologist, soccer moms. Therein lies the problem with these corporate types who push weird eternal status quo or bend the knee to a minority of people who dont even play the games.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:57:18 PM No.716479859
What the fuck am I reading
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:00:36 PM No.716479992
>>716479497 Nah bro you donโt get it. In the old days when a cartoon character got the girl it meant growth, stakes, payoff. Now they just dangle the "will-they-wonโt-they" forever like a carrot while shilling plushies & gacha skins. Let Mario kiss the damn princess, let Link settle down with Zelda-hell, let Sonic get a girlfriend whoโs not just a cipher for marketing metrics. We grew up, why can't they?
>>716479497 >>Based mentality; Girls are GAY AND LAME!
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:27:14 PM No.716481194
>>716479642 >Nintendo wants me to sit in the Best Western hotel cuck chair it seems. Platform cucks sit in the chair, a rhythm or shmup chad gets to fuck the girl in the bed >tfw when every sidescrolling shmup is fundamentally the same storyline - you are a sperm trying to reach the womb
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:51:28 PM No.716482289
>>716479404 (OP) Because everyone's getting a ticket on the Cuck Train to Louis CK's Interracial Breeding Grounds! YABBA DABBA CHOO-CHOO! *cucka-cucka cucka-cucka cucka-cucka*
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:55:07 PM No.716482491
>>716479404 (OP) I donโt think you want more shipping autism within nu sonic media
>>716479404 (OP) Sonic actively does not give a fuck about pussy. And Crash is too mentally challenged to care about pussy he's like a more extreme Forrest Gump who was mentally deficient but still lusted after a shitty druggie slut. Crash is even more more mentally disabled so he lost his sex urges.
Mario is a bonafide simp though, chasing a woman who rejected him. And I mean the Mario OVA. Mario Odyssey is the second time Mario got rejected by Peach.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:00:52 PM No.716482792
>>716479404 (OP) Pussy is grossly overrated. And all it takes is one mistake and your life is ruined. Bitch can falsely accuse you of rape or keep the pregnancy and enslave you into providing. The only way pussy is worth it is if women have No Rights.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:03:03 PM No.716482930
>>716479404 (OP) These days its more relatable for a hero to be a Loser Who Never Gets Sex. Look at Chris and Leon from Resident Evil. Look at Dante. Look at Ryu Hayabusa. Raiden from Metal Gear actually did get sex and had a son before these mandates but continuing to exist also cost him his penis and testicles since the villains cut them off he was cyborg castrated.
>>716479404 (OP) The last gaming hero who scored pussy in a mandatory story was Nero from Devil May Cry. He has a wife and its implied he will continue that relationship. So who knows he will become a father if they make future games I just hope they don't give him a Shitty Modern Daughter. I can't stand that shitty cliche. The only way I would tolerate Nero getting a daughter is.......she's entirely traditional she has no powers and she doesn't give a fuck about being a Ra Ra Feminism Girl Boss Tranny Sack of Shit.
>>716483035 Sonic went through a major reversal transformation. At first Sonic was col with pussy hence his personality in the old American Sonic cartoons, but this ended around the time of Sonic OVA which was probably the last time Sonic was chill with pussy and no Blaze doesn't count fuck your shipping. After that Sonic became asexual. And now in the most recent movie Sonic is the drooling This Loser Is YOU stereotype beta male in the incoming Sonic Movie 4 where Amy is a Girl Boss while Sonic is an moron who needed Amy to protect him from Metal Sonic one of the weakest villains in the franchise. And don't defend Hollywood you KNOW this is coming.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:11:28 PM No.716483386
>>716480024 He doesn't? Ratchet doesn't have chemistry with none of them this is why they all got discarded like trash one game after another. And Talwyin is so shitty that her best porn pic is made by her creator she's a GALAXY tier failure with the fandom. No one wants to accept that shitty bland bitch as his girlfriend. Doesn't help that Ratchet himself has become blandness incarnate. And Rivet is not his girlfriend lets drop that bullshit right there. A game having female characters existing doesn't mean much. And I include stuff like Dead or Alive or as I like to call it Look At the Bouncing Tits.
>>716480132 No it isn't. Amy said that her goal in life is to share love with the world. That includes not Sonic exclusively. And it makes her sound like a slut. Blame Sonic Frontiers.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:13:29 PM No.716483473
>>716482975 So at the end of the game when she "bakes a cake" for mario with the toads, are the toads included in the sex?
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:15:47 PM No.716483592
>>716483386 >her best porn pic is made by her creator Source?
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:16:25 PM No.716483616
>>716482975 At the end of the game she says "Let's bake a cake...for Mario" while standing next to two Toads. Please clarify
>>716483747 I think what bothers me about the whole Crash gets cucked is that it doesn't make sense. Women cheat on their boyfriends when they perceive a different man as being superior but Pinstripe is a LOSER. He got his ass humiliated by a retard. If you lose to someone who is retarded you are a Huge Loser. It's not a case that a regular person beat you no you lost to someone mentally deficient. That would make Pinstripe entirely unattractive to anything with a vagina. Tawna is written to knowingly trade down and get with a loser. And you can't even say Pinstripe has bad boy appeal there are more evil characters in Crash Bandicoot than an out of date mafia failure like Dingodile.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:36:16 PM No.716484769
>>716483616 She makes her servants bake a literal cake, but it's also a secret message for Mario that she can't wait to ride his dick, which is twice as exciting since she's saying it in public
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:38:22 PM No.716484889
>>716479404 (OP) Mario (pleb) getting with Peach (royalty) was never realistic. Sonic is a fuckboy, and Crash is a retard.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:43:13 PM No.716485179
They're frozen in time nothing ever happens to them or changes about them
>>716483747 The fact that someone employed by a multibillion dollar company not only drew this up but considered putting it into a game for kids and people who grew up on Crash, makes me deeply concerned about their mental state and why or how they can get employed.