Thread 716479404 - /v/ [Archived: 31 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:45:43 PM No.716479404
de3t2rl-b6a6b254-af6d-4f49-b96d-967be12c41b7
de3t2rl-b6a6b254-af6d-4f49-b96d-967be12c41b7
md5: a96e92b8fc9cb4d5cfc4246a2496bf9c๐Ÿ”
>these characters are not only not allowed to date but also victims of blatant NTR bait
Why are they killing our childhood heroes?
Replies: >>716479497 >>716480024 >>716480126 >>716480132 >>716481071 >>716482289 >>716482491 >>716482716 >>716482792 >>716482930 >>716482975 >>716483135 >>716484889
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:48:09 PM No.716479497
>>716479404 (OP)
>Cringe mentality; They can't date!
>Based mentality; Girls are GAY AND LAME!
Replies: >>716479642 >>716479992 >>716481125
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:49:21 PM No.716479539
My childhood heroes were Jimmy Paterson, Tanner and Garrett
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:51:32 PM No.716479642
>>716479497
I'm not 10 anymore. I need my characters to grow up with me. If these 3 get with their girlfriends it increases my chances of having a gf. Symbiosis they call it, or synchronicity or something. Nintendo wants me to sit in the Best Western hotel cuck chair it seems.
Replies: >>716481194
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:55:37 PM No.716479784
Tintin
Tintin
md5: 942a871601514c205d7c67defe16d75a๐Ÿ”
Sega thinks Sonic should be freedom incarnate which means keeping girls at arms length. Mario has no excuse to be single outside of Nintendo mandates.
Crash had a loyal girlfriend that got taken by him from Universal caving into armchair psychologist, soccer moms. Therein lies the problem with these corporate types who push weird eternal status quo or bend the knee to a minority of people who dont even play the games.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 12:57:18 PM No.716479859
What the fuck am I reading
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:00:36 PM No.716479992
>>716479497
Nah bro you donโ€™t get it. In the old days when a cartoon character got the girl it meant growth, stakes, payoff. Now they just dangle the "will-they-wonโ€™t-they" forever like a carrot while shilling plushies & gacha skins. Let Mario kiss the damn princess, let Link settle down with Zelda-hell, let Sonic get a girlfriend whoโ€™s not just a cipher for marketing metrics. We grew up, why can't they?
Replies: >>716480184 >>716482605
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:01:11 PM No.716480024
IMG_8572
IMG_8572
md5: 9a86d15de55734182c858d1818f5ab9f๐Ÿ”
>>716479404 (OP)
Ratchet has four girlfriends. How does he do it?
Replies: >>716480142 >>716482691 >>716483386 >>716486074
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:03:10 PM No.716480126
>>716479404 (OP)
jews
yes, even mascot platformer relationship statuses are made worse by jews to fuck with you
it's that bad
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:03:16 PM No.716480132
>>716479404 (OP)
Isn't it just Mario though? Son-Amy gets more and more canon each day, and Crash has always had a GF I thought.
Replies: >>716480717 >>716480860 >>716481017 >>716483461 >>716483747
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:03:28 PM No.716480142
>>716480024
I've heard he's a man who's good with his hands.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:04:21 PM No.716480184
>>716479992
Because the games are meant to bait new generations into buying games and merch. We were never meant to be their audience in our old age.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:15:09 PM No.716480717
>>716480132
Crash 4 broke up Crash and Tawna to bring in nu-Tawna
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:18:22 PM No.716480860
file
file
md5: 07e7843de5769c8d3a899c4d4dd04ae3๐Ÿ”
>>716480132
Crash GF abandoned him for the weasel boss
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:22:37 PM No.716481017
755
755
md5: bf8b9e7d6df4d7087257fa374d32c26d๐Ÿ”
>>716480132
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:24:05 PM No.716481071
>>716479404 (OP)
Every console platform player is canonically a cuckold and that's the way it should be. Grow up and play a real genre.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:24:56 PM No.716481097
I mean Crash still has his little sister I guess
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:25:33 PM No.716481125
1687218961523550
1687218961523550
md5: d02c12d4e79c7c5cca7b377f218538ab๐Ÿ”
>>716479497
>>Based mentality; Girls are GAY AND LAME!
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:27:14 PM No.716481194
>>716479642
>Nintendo wants me to sit in the Best Western hotel cuck chair it seems.
Platform cucks sit in the chair, a rhythm or shmup chad gets to fuck the girl in the bed
>tfw when every sidescrolling shmup is fundamentally the same storyline - you are a sperm trying to reach the womb
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:51:28 PM No.716482289
>>716479404 (OP)
Because everyone's getting a ticket on the Cuck Train to Louis CK's Interracial Breeding Grounds! YABBA DABBA CHOO-CHOO! *cucka-cucka cucka-cucka cucka-cucka*
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:55:07 PM No.716482491
>>716479404 (OP)
I donโ€™t think you want more shipping autism within nu sonic media
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:57:24 PM No.716482605
IMG_7516
IMG_7516
md5: faf7af2e2292c49ff4772471dbba0b20๐Ÿ”
>>716479992
link & purah are together doe??
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:59:07 PM No.716482691
>>716480024
based & canon
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 1:59:36 PM No.716482716
>>716479404 (OP)
Sonic actively does not give a fuck about pussy. And Crash is too mentally challenged to care about pussy he's like a more extreme Forrest Gump who was mentally deficient but still lusted after a shitty druggie slut. Crash is even more more mentally disabled so he lost his sex urges.

Mario is a bonafide simp though, chasing a woman who rejected him. And I mean the Mario OVA. Mario Odyssey is the second time Mario got rejected by Peach.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:00:52 PM No.716482792
>>716479404 (OP)
Pussy is grossly overrated. And all it takes is one mistake and your life is ruined. Bitch can falsely accuse you of rape or keep the pregnancy and enslave you into providing. The only way pussy is worth it is if women have No Rights.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:03:03 PM No.716482930
>>716479404 (OP)
These days its more relatable for a hero to be a Loser Who Never Gets Sex. Look at Chris and Leon from Resident Evil. Look at Dante. Look at Ryu Hayabusa. Raiden from Metal Gear actually did get sex and had a son before these mandates but continuing to exist also cost him his penis and testicles since the villains cut them off he was cyborg castrated.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:03:48 PM No.716482975
hq720
hq720
md5: f56552eeafc2688e44e52a91bf24bd5a๐Ÿ”
>>716479404 (OP)
Mario obviously had sex with Peach. What do you think her "baked cake" is? It's obviously an euphemism for sex.
Replies: >>716483473 >>716483616
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:04:46 PM No.716483035
How is Sonic victim of NTR bait when Amy is the one chasing him and he's the one who doesn't give a shit
Replies: >>716483271
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:06:24 PM No.716483135
>>716479404 (OP)
The last gaming hero who scored pussy in a mandatory story was Nero from Devil May Cry. He has a wife and its implied he will continue that relationship. So who knows he will become a father if they make future games I just hope they don't give him a Shitty Modern Daughter. I can't stand that shitty cliche. The only way I would tolerate Nero getting a daughter is.......she's entirely traditional she has no powers and she doesn't give a fuck about being a Ra Ra Feminism Girl Boss Tranny Sack of Shit.
Replies: >>716483723
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:09:05 PM No.716483271
>>716483035
Sonic went through a major reversal transformation. At first Sonic was col with pussy hence his personality in the old American Sonic cartoons, but this ended around the time of Sonic OVA which was probably the last time Sonic was chill with pussy and no Blaze doesn't count fuck your shipping. After that Sonic became asexual. And now in the most recent movie Sonic is the drooling This Loser Is YOU stereotype beta male in the incoming Sonic Movie 4 where Amy is a Girl Boss while Sonic is an moron who needed Amy to protect him from Metal Sonic one of the weakest villains in the franchise. And don't defend Hollywood you KNOW this is coming.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:11:28 PM No.716483386
>>716480024
He doesn't? Ratchet doesn't have chemistry with none of them this is why they all got discarded like trash one game after another. And Talwyin is so shitty that her best porn pic is made by her creator she's a GALAXY tier failure with the fandom. No one wants to accept that shitty bland bitch as his girlfriend. Doesn't help that Ratchet himself has become blandness incarnate. And Rivet is not his girlfriend lets drop that bullshit right there. A game having female characters existing doesn't mean much. And I include stuff like Dead or Alive or as I like to call it Look At the Bouncing Tits.
Replies: >>716483592
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:12:58 PM No.716483461
>>716480132
No it isn't. Amy said that her goal in life is to share love with the world. That includes not Sonic exclusively. And it makes her sound like a slut. Blame Sonic Frontiers.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:13:29 PM No.716483473
>>716482975
So at the end of the game when she "bakes a cake" for mario with the toads, are the toads included in the sex?
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:15:47 PM No.716483592
>>716483386
>her best porn pic is made by her creator
Source?
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:16:25 PM No.716483616
>>716482975
At the end of the game she says "Let's bake a cake...for Mario" while standing next to two Toads. Please clarify
Replies: >>716484769
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:18:11 PM No.716483723
IMG_8574
IMG_8574
md5: e24a81caa0d4d6013e6e1b8005ecdb3c๐Ÿ”
>>716483135
>The last gaming hero who scored pussy in a mandatory story
Ahem.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:18:37 PM No.716483747
Tawna-with-kid-concept-art
Tawna-with-kid-concept-art
md5: 4ca6a36397ae7c70fb535beb953845f0๐Ÿ”
>>716480132
Crash almost got cucked on screen for real
Replies: >>716483929 >>716484129 >>716486187
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:21:58 PM No.716483929
>>716483747
Crikeyโ€ฆ
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:25:26 PM No.716484129
>>716483747
I think what bothers me about the whole Crash gets cucked is that it doesn't make sense. Women cheat on their boyfriends when they perceive a different man as being superior but Pinstripe is a LOSER. He got his ass humiliated by a retard. If you lose to someone who is retarded you are a Huge Loser. It's not a case that a regular person beat you no you lost to someone mentally deficient. That would make Pinstripe entirely unattractive to anything with a vagina. Tawna is written to knowingly trade down and get with a loser. And you can't even say Pinstripe has bad boy appeal there are more evil characters in Crash Bandicoot than an out of date mafia failure like Dingodile.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:36:16 PM No.716484769
>>716483616
She makes her servants bake a literal cake, but it's also a secret message for Mario that she can't wait to ride his dick, which is twice as exciting since she's saying it in public
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:38:22 PM No.716484889
>>716479404 (OP)
Mario (pleb) getting with Peach (royalty) was never realistic. Sonic is a fuckboy, and Crash is a retard.
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:43:13 PM No.716485179
They're frozen in time
nothing ever happens to them or changes about them
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 2:58:57 PM No.716486074
ratchet-and-clank-sasha
ratchet-and-clank-sasha
md5: df4819245164770129548c1dd17e6cd4๐Ÿ”
>>716480024
to be fair, only Sasha canonically has intimacy with him
Anonymous
7/26/2025, 3:00:38 PM No.716486187
00699
00699
md5: 9fdaa3ae128f6f17af3508b0732ce36d๐Ÿ”
>>716483747
The fact that someone employed by a multibillion dollar company not only drew this up but considered putting it into a game for kids and people who grew up on Crash, makes me deeply concerned about their mental state and why or how they can get employed.