Thread 723426509

What would you do if this was running after you?

>>723426509 (OP)
Aaw, he's smiling :)

>>723426509 (OP)
Depends on my weapon.
Try my hardest to strike him just as he was lunging at me. A polearm is probably best for this. A bat may work too with precise timing. A knife would probably get me killed, but I would still try to keep it away.
Seek higher ground if there is any near and I have enough time left.
I hate harming dogs but saving my own life is more important.

Without any armor and a serious weapon, zombie dogs would be extremely dangerous and hard to kill just becase of their speed and aggression.
With serious full body armor and a solid weapon, they would still be dangerous but much less so than juggernaut zombies, bear zombies or berserker zombies and you could probably kill up to 3 with relatively little risk.

Fucking die because there's no way I'm taking it out without getting bit.

>>723426509 (OP)
Take it to the vet. It's very clearly injured and in pain. I'm sure it's running to me because it trusts I can help it.

>>723426509 (OP)
run into a nearby mansion

>>723426509 (OP)
Fuck her rotting dog cookie

>>723426509 (OP)
This is what shitbulls look like too me when their owner says she don't bite

Imagine keeping the zombie dog as a pet.
Like, locking it in a cage or deep pit where it won't pose any rsk anymore and throwing down some killed zombie remains every day as food.

>>723426509 (OP)
make a you just know sfm with the female companion name claire redfield that i was with

>>723426509 (OP)
>running
with that much muscle missing? I don't think so
I would just walk away as it tries to crawl over in pain

>>723427503
most reddit post itt

>>723426509 (OP)
"Awe, he's smiling!"

>>723426509 (OP)
I'd run and ohhh nooo I fell and landed on all fours haha oh no my skirt got all hiked up when I fell what do I dooooo?

>>723428535
this

>>723428535
Kill yourself tranny.

>>723428535
Jill...

>>723428307
This might be the most pseudointellectual post I've read all day, and I just came from the CRT circlejerk thread.

Last night, I actually had a dream where a bunch of stray dogs with leprosy were nipping at me as I was walking down the street. They weren't super aggressive or anything. Just following me and trying to bite me whenever I turned my back. They were more of a nuisance than anything

>>723428535
Are those horsehair worms
I sooooooooooooo wouldnt want those dumped into my throbbing warm pussy *wink

>>723426509 (OP)
Turn to the camera and scream

>>723428356
Please go back

suplex it into the earth leaving a sizeable crater where it will stay until its bones turn to dust

i honest believe i, as a weak gamer, could beat up a large dog but not without getting life altering injuries

I would gulp loudly and say "N-Nice doggy..." or perhaps "Good boy..."

>>723426509 (OP)
drop on all fours

>>723428535
Elizabeth no!

>>723426509 (OP)
Find a white woman to handle it.

die tired

>>723426509 (OP)
Throw a baby at it to distract it

>>723426509 (OP)
I'm an American, so I'd shoot it. Probably mag dump the thing in all honesty, no chance I'm taking the time (or have it) to carefully aim.

>>723429363
It's a doberman not a pitbull

>game set in a city with hideous monsters and zombies
>spam futa porn instead
I hate the porn community.

Spam a couple of these

>>723428987
if the dog grabs your forearm you want to move forward and lift
then pull the dog towards you as pile drive it into the ground

>>723429480
https://e621.net/posts?tags=zmsfm+resident_evil+

Call for help from my fellow human allies to save me

>>723429480
To be fair, "spam futa porn instead" is the porn community's response to literally every single fandom

>>723426509 (OP)
Pressent bussy

Press pause

>>723426509 (OP)
If girl, her.

>>723426509 (OP)
I consult a strategy guide and find which is the best weapon to use.

>>723426509 (OP)

I'd listen to what he had to say; that's what no one did.

depends, does it have a massive raging red rocket dangling in his crotch? if so i'd fall and trip on all fours. if not, just die i guess

>>723428987
You're supposed to make it latch onto your jacket so you can so long gay Bowser it across the stratosphere. I slung a shitbull into a lake where it drowned to death this way.

>>723426509 (OP)
I wouldn't stress, because my trusty squad leader would be watching my back and shoot it dead.

>>723430378
>Colt 2 hits
>bazooka 2 hits
WTF?

Did anyone watch the 3D movies? Those dogs are as fast as a speed bike at full gait, so they were definitely created by umbrella to be a tactical weapon. If you don't have an actual offensive or defensive strategy you're probably going to die.

>>723431638
not only that, they are completely immune to pain. You can scare off a normal dog with enough pain but this one will just bite you to death even without 2 of his legs.

>>723428080
Would the mansion just happen to be malign?

>>723429830
I dont think having a cock in your rectum feels that good.

>>723426509 (OP)
AH YES THE DUOOOOGS TRUE CLASSICS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ-YsmgAoi4

Kick to the face dislocates jaw rendering it mostly harmless.

>>723431628
dogs be ruff and tuff yo

>>723426509 (OP)
get eaten I suppose

>>723431298
Big id true

>>723426509 (OP)
fuck it in the ass

Retrieve the big string of venomous sausages I keep in my pants for such an occasion and eat it as fast as I can.

>>723428987
Where's the "Getting attacked? Just say no. Dogs can't legally attack you." panel?

>>723428771
>nooo you have to answer how I want you to!!!!
you must be fun at parties.

>>723428015
Based.
Ironically you would probably have a better chance of surviving that zombie dog that delusional faggots who post about taking it out.

>>723432764
that's in the art of femininity version, along with "lie down and let it happen"

>>723426509 (OP)
Hope i can take the knot

>>723428356
most third worlder post itt

>>723426509 (OP)
I hate dog enemies in games so much it's unreal. It's probably the largest gap between something likeable irl and the seething it causes playing games.

>>723426509 (OP)
bend over x3

Why are there so many knot posters and only one cookie poster?

peanut butter on penis

>>723426509 (OP)
Most likely die, I'm a fat manlet.

>>723431628
he's a big dog

>>723434172
cocks are sexy uwu

>>723431447
CHRISTHISWAY

>>723428015
We dont know if they infect

>>723434469
We know they infect everyone but protags.
Are you funky enough to be a protag?

>>723434172
Not nearly enough cerberus cookie porn in comparison

>>723434354
imagine the size of the bulbus glandis....

>>723434963
Stop talking about that

>>723434469
It's never been consistent. In RE1 1996 it was an airborne virus that rapidly degraded and bites/scratches didn't spread it. It also took days for someone to turn and it specifically did not bring dead people back. They were still alive, just really fucked up. Then the Director's Cut had Forest turning very quickly after getting pecked to death by crows, 2 had bites spreading it and people turning whenever the plot called for it and by CV you've got actual desiccated corpses rising from the grave.

>>723434963
I'm surprised theres the one that currently exists on e621

>>723435452
>eyelashes
wtf

>>723436408
yes, dogs have eyelashes

>>723434172
With RE, for some reason the people who want to get fucked by the monsters (cringe) completely overtake the people who want to fuck the monsters.

>>723436576
It's weird cause RE has some of the most fuckable monsters in vidya yet theres barely any art of them getting dicked down.

>>723434354
For you

Remember that Capcom fully modeled the dogs ballsack, sheathe and buthole in RE2R.
You can check the in game model yourself
https://arch-img.b4k.dev/v/1549629320999.jpg

>>723436784
You'd get blood on your cock

>>723435452
>how do we know its a girl dog?
>eye lashes

>>723436784
It makes me seethe a lot since I want to fuck so many RE monsters and all you can find for many of them is just shitty 3D animations of Jill or Ada getting fucked by an out of focus monster.

It will pey the price for challenging me

>>723437916
Cuckshit has even infected my RE porn
Billions must die

>>723426509 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHbOc5ii3w

>>723437669
You're worried about that and not the t-virus on your cock?

>>723426509 (OP)
Drop my pants and present. Now I have hentai plot armor or at the very least I won't die a virgin.
Edit: Jesus, why are the captchas so long?
Edit 2: Thanks for the Reddit Gold, stranger!

>>723437512
Why did they do this

>>723431298
Only good post in the entire thread.

>>723426509 (OP)
Depends on what I got on me. With a bat, a golf club, or decent weight/size pipe I could stand a chance. If I've got my thick poofy jacket (or potentially a sweatshirt), I could take it off and use it to block and stuff the bite, but that's situational and you gotta angle it just right or they'll go over/under or even catch your fingers if the bite slides too much while you're wrestling it down. Kinda still fucked, though because I don't think I could really do anything once it's grappled unless I have a decent knife on me.
If it's just mano y perro with no items, I would have to be insanely lucky to get out without it breaking skin.

>>723428535
White woman bros...

find the nearest white woman to hump to distract it

>>723426509 (OP)
I hope to be near somewhere to climb because a regular sized doberman pincher is already like 90 fucking pounds and could jump my ass. Unless you're armed with a long instrument or a gun for a chance. You are dead.

>>723439295
To make the r34 artists jobs easier

>>723434354
Your berretta is always the better option in the OG games. Less expensive, but in the REmake your shotgun is far more damaging and they eat pistol rounds like kibble.

>>723430378
you can just walk and run all over the Small Spiders

>>723445148
Filename is imba

>>723445249
imba?

>>723428287
why would want a foul smelling and maggot infested pet i never understood why people would want a zombie pet animal all you're doing is making your life a living hell

>>723426509 (OP)
PICK IT UP AND SUCK IT'S DICK, AYOOOOO!

>>723426509 (OP)
Catch it, Houndoom is a good addition to any team

>>723426509 (OP)
Considerjng it's not real.... Nothing.

>>723440372
>Depends on what I got on me. With a bat, a golf club, or decent weight/size pipe I could stand a chance
Or you could stop being a beta simp cuck and carry a .45

>>723426509 (OP)
fucking die
im not escaping/ fighting off a living attack dog, let alone one that can't feel pain. i saw that jsoc video

>>723426509 (OP)
Die. Even if I somehow escape the zombie dog, I am not surviving a t-virus outbreak.

>>723426509 (OP)
I'm a black woman so I'd bend over and take it

>>723426509 (OP)
Turn 360 degrees and walk away

>>723445148
>he hit the camera man

>>723426509 (OP)
I dunno, die?

>>723426509 (OP)
nanny dog its all about who raises em

>>723426509 (OP)
I'd recruit him to my dungeon and teach him how to breathe fire.

>>723447237
Dogs aren't real?

>>723426509 (OP)
Aside from felines most quadrupedal animals are easily defeated when on their sides or back, so I'd simply find a way to wrestle it on its side and then repeatedly stop its head in until it's dead.

>>723428134
uhhhh based???

>>723426509 (OP)
These guys taught me that ammo conservation in RE1 is a big meme.

>>723428134
>>723448494
YWNBAW

>>723448556
there is nothing manlier than fucking a zombie dog

>>723448531
you conserve ammo against common zombies and worthless enemies like snakes and spiders. You use ammo on dangerous enemies like dogs and hunters.

>>723448712
YWNBAW

>>723426509 (OP)
Kill jester

>>723448771
thank god

>>723426509 (OP)
"Aw hell naw, what's up dawg?"

>>723448843
YWNBAW

>>723449017
me next pls

>>723426509 (OP)
probably fucking die if the movies are anything to go off of

>>723436784
>>723437916
Same. Sick of seeing the lazy bestiphiles just
>lol ada fuck horse jill fuck dogg
when every RE monster could easily become a monstergirl

>>723426509 (OP)
Zombies are weak. Their muscles are literally rotting.
And, as much as I love dogs, if I'm being realistic, all it'd take is a kick to their torso and one stomp to the head. Dead.

>>723447784
Only white women do that.

>>723451432
No, in my experience it's all black and Hispanic women.

>>723437669
I've fucked my wife while she was on her period a handful of times. First time I noticed the blood then kept going, didn't matter at all.

>>723451540
>Latina
Show them to me, my dog hasn't tasted mexican meat yet. All he got is white women.

>>723451615
pretty much. if it's not getting in the way, just finish up and then clean afterwards

>>723445305
Imbalanced. It's another word for overpowered, mostly used in the early days of World of Warcraft.

>>723451863
>pretty much. if it's not getting in the way, just finish up and then clean afterwards
This

>>723426509 (OP)
If zombies are Romero Style, slow and dumb, you will be able to survive with long spears and shields, short spears for close quarters.

A phalanx/testudo of you and your buddies full of spears and shields is enough to survive a zombie apocalypse without wasting on bullets or dying like a bitch.

The dog is the same shit, have a shield and make the thing focus on that shield, let your buddies to impale the thing until you break their spine or damage it too much to keep going. Repeat with any other zombie enemy.

>>723455617
they're resident evil zombies so every single crow, tick, and leech is infected and spreads it, every non-human infected with it has will experience moderate to fantastical mutations like gigantism or ridiculous physical capabilities, and also operate in packs or colonies with decent tactical ability

>>723428535
>all of those (you)s
why is this board so full of faggots?

>>723451290
It's really a shame considering how good some of the stuff that currently exists is
But cucks would rather watch women fucking animals than tame a bioweapon.

>>723445329
>why would want a foul smelling and maggot infested pet
Meme value.

>>723448397
>Elephants and boars are easy to defeat without a gun or polearm.

>>723451356
They are weak but extremely fast, aggressive and difficult to hit and have deadly infectious bites.

>>723460954
>They are weak
Not the most modern versions. Whatever the fuck manufacturers are putting into them by the time of the movies let them rip people's heads off in one bite, keep up with freeway traffic, and crush the roofs of cars by jumping off them

>>723436576
Only troons and faggots like RE. That was a bit redundant of me to say the same thing twice...

>>723426509 (OP)
Same way I solved all my problems.
Seduction.

>>723426509 (OP)
run and hope I can get away fast enough

>>723426509 (OP)
These things killed STARS members with guns
I'm pretty sure I have no chance

>>723434469
It's a fucking zombie so you might aswel assume that it will.

>>723461494
If your name isn't Chris, Jill, Leon, Claire, Ada, or Rebecca then you are meat for the fucking grinder on any STARS or BSAA shit

>>723426509 (OP)
Try to knock it down somehow and break it's legs if somehow possible. But more than likely i'd just get fucked. My pathetic attempt to kick it would probably just end with me being turned into a chew toy.

>>723428881
Based horror movie side character.

>>723461406
>Whatever the fuck manufacturers are putting into them by the time of the movies let them rip people's heads off in one bite, keep up with freeway traffic, and crush the roofs of cars by jumping off them
That's juggernaut zombies and berserker zombies.
Dog zombies are weak but super fast, aggressive, don't feel pain and have infectious bites.

I think he's happier to eat me than I am to live in Raccoon City so whatever

AWWWWWW WHO'S A GOOD DOGGIE?? YOU ARE!
and then die as I try to pet the dog

>>723461965
>I'm getting eaten by a dog right now
>I'm kinda bummed about it

>>723461965
It's a bike cuck joke lol!

>>723426509 (OP)
Male dog? Find a way to catch and restrain him, then take him home and deepthroat his knot whenever I feel like it.
Female dog? Kill it.

>>723448714
No.

You just shoot everything except the infinetly respawning snakes and wasps in 2 specific spots. There’s more than enough ammo to easily kill everything. The only time you need to be conservative is extreme early game as Chris.

>>723461965
i want to kiss it in the mouth
>but you can't you'll die
not my problem

I will remember this gem.

>>723461935
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki9TniAUA1Q

>>723462208
Why is it all monsters fucking girls?
RE girls aren't even all that hot.

>>723462382
We need chris pounding a female hunter. For reasons.

>>723462208
did she fall and shoot the yogurt tank above her while the dog is trying to clean her?

>>723462208
based

>>723462208
reminds me of that one unfinished resident evil progeny porn game from literally a decade ago now, could get knotted by the Cerberus changing the animation

>>723426509 (OP)
Try to shoot it, probably miss and die.

>>723445148
>so long a gay bow wow

Have Wesker save me only to be betrayed by him later.

>>723464695
>dogs can squirt
today I learned.

Well, this thread escalated quickly.

>Janny loves BBC and Animal sex
Why is the LGBT+ like this?

>>723431876
You mean if there were some kind of resident evil?

>>723426509 (OP)
face down ass up

>>723426509 (OP)
Boop it's nose :-p