Thread 724713412

Please do not disturb the keepers.

>>724713412 (OP)
Please do not disturb the jannies.

>>724713412 (OP)
They're just cute lil guys who strive to work hard. I would never!

clean it up keepers

>>724713750
If you took a shit on krogan statue in presidium, would janny alien have to clean it up?

>>724713412 (OP)
I've been trying to reach them for their car's extended warranty for years and now you are telling me this? Well I have something to tell of my own.

I find it so interesting that these popular video game franchises have all conveniently reached the number 6.
>GTA
>Far Cry
>Elder Scrolls
>DOOM
>Battlefield
>Persona
>Halo
>COD Black Ops
>Hitman
>MGS
>Armored Core
>Super Smash Bros
Plus GTA 6 delayed to May 26th 2026.
>666
All announcing the mark of the beast.

Revelation 13:17-18 KJV
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

Honourable mention:
>Resident Evil 9 (upside down 6)
>Dying Light The Beast

I dare you to disturb the Dabus

Depressed. Everything after 2 is unsalvageable.

>>724713412 (OP)
*scans it*

>>724713412 (OP)
He cute. Can I keep it?

>>724713412 (OP)
They do it for free

>>724713815
Ironically Krogans would be the most likely to shit on it.

>>724715075
Maybe Vorcha, but not like they will let one up into presidium.

Total Batarian death.

>>724714736
3 had better, smoother combat and more guns/mods for guns.
I hear that people also liked multiplayer, but I never tried it out so I don't know about that.
It had some other nice things, like arena, some squad interactions. And game also looked nice, at least for me.
But overall story and writing is bad.

>>724714895
He's a keeper, for sure.

>>724715328
The multiplayer was fairly fun. I played it a decent bit.

>>724713815
they sweep it into the keeper protein vats for extra nutrition

>>724713412 (OP)
Moving onto a giant space station of unknown origin you don't understand and is maintained by alien drones whose motives you cannot know has got to be one of those profoundly retarded "movie logic" moves that nobody should have gone along with, let alone all the sapient races of a great big alliance. A decision so stupid the retarded characters had to do in order to put themselves in the danger the writers required them to be in.

>>724713412 (OP)
Imagine assfucking one but all it can do is the work it was programmed to do it work even try to stop you. It'll just keep trying to do its work while someone is fucking its gunky abdomen

it would have been super kino if the keepers were the true villains all along

>>724715691
Yeah, would have been better than what we got, at least. Even if silly.

>>724715584
Every single ayylmao space media that is somewhat popular is mostly retarded.

>>724715691
They were in previous cycles. They were the ones alerting the Reapers when it was time to begin the genocide.

>>724715917
You can't really call them villains when they are just probably some kind of biomechanical automatons, controlled by Reapers, as far as I understand it.

>>724715737
>>724715691
They were but i believe the proteans managed to fuck them up so hard they turned into actual mindless drones until the top reapers took control of the whole thing again.

>>724713412 (OP)
Don't mind me, passin' through

>>724715584
It's a metaphor for like... living in a society, man.

>>724715584
The earth government is on earth, moron. Nobody but the "older races" and the globhomo-minded moved to the Citadel .

>>724716385
Shepard is an old fashioned guy anon, very allegorical.

>>724716545
Other races have their own govs back at home too, Citadel is filled with embassies and is kind of like Space UN, but perhaps with more power in some regards.

>>724716545
The citadel is presented as a very important monolith for the alien races, anon. Including humanity. Even if humans are smart enough not to be centrally located there, they all lean on it way more than they should.

>>724713412 (OP)
It almost looks like it's wearing a small chef hat

>nobody really questioned the weird bugs that maintained the giant space station
>made it illegal to study them
why were all the races in this game so retarded

>>724715584
the moral of the story of mass effect is that literally only humans can be trusted and the illusive man was right

>>724716003
I thought they were a species from a previous cycle turned into weird bug monster slaves, like what they did to the protheans/collectors

>>724715584
How about dedicating all of your galactic resources to building a superweapon that requires a part you can't build. You have no idea what the superweapon does either. Maybe it's not even a weapon at all. All of this is in the middle of a war, mind you
Mass Effect 3's problems started far earlier than the ending.

>>724717846
Because they had to make everyone else retarded to make humans look better by comparison. So you can tell the council to suck it and be based space action hero

>>724718420
I forget how it was, but in any case, they are just tools.

>>724717846
everything's ran by the As*ri

>>724717846
illegal because they self-destruct when scanned(aside from that one uest) and theyre the only ones who truly know how to maintain the citadel so it's not worth losing them

>>724717846
it was a twist/parody on the whole star trek "enlightened future" where everyone is hyper-competent and gets along

>>724715584
You know what? I can totally buy it in ME1. Most space flight tech is reverse engineering Prothean tech which itself is god knows how old and dating how many cycles? And when everything supposedly works smoothly on the surface, why question it? Citadel Races are lazy, brilliant in other facets but lazy in so many other ways.

>>724713412 (OP)
Oh yeah? If it's so illegal, how did the Protheans disturb them? Checkmate Reaper apologists.

>>724715917
>>724716013
They were just reaper minions. Not actual villains.

>>724718959
asari, turians and salarians really were total fags despite their prowess not coming from their own advances in technology but instead just being the first to discover pre-exisitng technology
asari in particular are so high and mighty despite apparently a huge chunk of their society practicing slavery
turians for some reason should be humanity's friends except they're blood-thirsty chuds
it's a shame the whole council/non-council tension was not mentioned after ME1, it was interesting speaking to the volus and elcor in the embassies

>>724713750
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nplefywEFI

>make a big pile of fun, different playable races and exotic classes for the me3 multiplayers
>never used them for anything else

>council races made the technological leap to prothean technology like 2000 years before humanity
>humanity somehow catches up to the other races but socially and technologically in like 30 years

>>724717570
>they know

>>724719843
>asari spend all day flicking each others' beans and pretending to be enlightened
>turians spend all day larping as military bigshots but ultimately doing nothing
>salarians spend all day committing genocide then dying before they're 30
humanity was the only thing in the galaxy worth something

>>724720216
>Aliens aren't perfect "Ubermensch"-beings
>Actually a collection of faulty and corrupt indivials like everyone else sentient
>Humans aren't just "le suck" but can put bloody the nose of anybody really good.
Absolutely kino. I love OG Bioware.

>>724718943
star trek is implicitly human supremacist too, given that all the other races are just minor characters in what is ultimately humanity's story
federation flagship's crew? 90% human, and 90% of the senior staff human. who the fuck knows what species like the bolians contribute to the federation
mass effect is just explicit about the fact that humans are better than everyone else

>>724715272
>Colonist
>Female Shepard
>Ruthless
Yep, time to game

Started replaying trilogy few days ago. Gaming will never be the same again. Everything is so kino. Mass Effect was such a wasted opportunity, it shouldn't have ended like it did. And no, I don't think we'll ever see ME4.

>>724720216
>codex says that every other fleet of citadel species has to be like 1/3 of the turian fleet so the turians can maintain military dominance
>refuse to actually do anything with said dominant military
what the FUCK was their problem

I almost died from laughter with that fag crying over his boyfriend in 3 today. ME3 was truly ahead of its time

>>724715328
>>724715421
you can still play the multiplayer, it's still fairly active
I tried to redownload it recently but I remembered you need a janky mod to use a controller, but if that's no problem to you then it's a pretty good co-op mode and you can use cheat engine to unlock everything EA doesn't give a shit

Why do you /pol/ niggers eat this shit up so much? This game literally introduced gay romance in to mainstream gaming

>>724716545
Actually the "earth" government is on Arcturus station.

>>724715584
you're being very presumptive...I think it's a pretty clever setting that mimics europeans discovery of the new world
all the races came together to fight over what they think is a treasure trove of prothean tech and they fall victims to their own hubris in a way
too bad they fumbled it all, and I think it started with 1 because they didn't have a definitive ending in place and decided to wing it as a generic space opera (still the best one in vidya form tho)

>>724720715
It's insane how EA still hasn't made a standalone multiplayer game with all the female races playable with cosmetics. Literally free money waiting to be printed.

>>724724263
>still the best one in vidya form
Nah. Star Control 2 is still the best. ME even admitted to taking a lot from that game, and it's pretty obvious if you're familiar with the races. A lot of central conflicts come from ideas spawned in SC2.
>species that breeds too rapidly
>blue psyonic women who every race finds attractive
>missing race of ancients whose tech is far beyond our own
etc. etc.

>>724714205
Meds

>finally decide to play these games because theyre always dirt cheap
>have a blast with 1, pretty much my ideal game
>breeze through 2 as well, not as good but still charming and I grew to like the characters
>spend 4 months to beat three, beating a mission per week because its such a fucking slog

>>724714205
we already had an antichrist, it was hitler

>>724715650
Great minds think alike.

>>724724263
>mimics europeans discovery of the new world
Modern education is a fucking disaster and you should stop posting and stick with consuming reddit and youtube essays. Fag

>>724724924
best one release this century then lol
never played SC2 but I really doubt it can top the ME trilogy desu
considering that it has possibly the most infamous horse shit ending and still managed to leave a huge cultural impact is impressive

>>724725246
stop being a smart ass fag
it's not 1:1 but there are multiple subplots in ME that clearly call on historical themes of colonialism, imperialism etc
>b-but muh columbus never rode a space ship
retard

>>724725727
Nigger you are the one trying to act like a smart ass fag by yapping about my western imperialism. Give me one good reason why there similarities between mass effect and european conquest and not any other human conquest in the history of mankind. Why europe in particular?

>>724725907
I'm gonna go take a shit instead then stare at the bowl for 30 seconds to recreate what it feels like to interact with your retarded ass

>>724726058
Waow! Just like when the europeans encountered the indigenous people for the first time!

>>724723979
because they played it when they were 9

>>724715584
What are you gonna do, not settle on the heavily fortified and blatantly benign abandoned space station? And then hope everyone else that discovers it does the same thing instead of settling it themselves and using it against you because of the overwhelming tactical advantage it would provide?

From a militaristic point of view the only thing smarter than taking over the citadel for yourself would be destroying it so no one else can have it.

>>724725727
Most media products make their impact before the ending drops. I don't think it's to ME's credit DESPITE the ending. Everyone had already sunk their time and interest into it when that horseshit happened. That's nothing but a negative.

>>724713412 (OP)
Somebody get the bugspray.

>>724713650
Same, I'm unemployed and not cute at all :(

>>724725064
Shepard you need to go to planet #831 to retrieve [person and/or relic] for the war effort.
>5 minutes of bee lining later
>scan
>press x to probe
>UPDATE
Okay now bring it back so I can give you 1000 credits and one line of dialogue to unclog your codex.
Good. You opened this message.

The point of Turians and Krogans are to date and lewd them in gay ways.

>>724727253
I wonder if it ever occurred to the reapers that in a particular cycle they get a retarded race that just smashes up all the mass relays
shepherd kind of went then when he killed all those b*tarians

>>724723669
a lot of subtext through the series is that after first contact with humans,Turian males are completely emasculated and for every badass like Nihlus there's about 1000 betas. Even Garrus is a whiny bitch in ME1 towards humans, aliens, and his heckarino criminals he can't kill indiscriminately

>>724715272
Based, genociding the Batarians at the end of Mass Effect 2 was so satisfying.

>>724727976
its exactly that. all the missions play exactly the same.

>>724716545
There is no "Earth Government". Earth is still all the same nations we have today. The System's Alliance is basically a Space UN designed to give humanity as a whole a single voice to negotiate with the Council.

ME1 has a bit in the codex about how Mexicans were conned hardcore by the Batarians.

You will build the plot device

Dont talk to me or my son ever again

What was your favourite character in multiplayer, lads?
I have vague memories or tearing shit up with the Vorcha's dumb melee.

>>724715584
It's no different from choosing to live in a Jew-controlled urban hellscape.

>>724725139
Christgoys are anti-White.

>>724732643
Miri... easy on the doughnuts....

new pilgrimage acquired: bedroom

Was their true nature even revealed?

They are technically alive after perfect Destroy so what would they even be doing now

>>724715584
It's pretty obvious that the writers read Fire Upon the Deep and thought the twist in that was amazing.

You know what I don't get is that no one points out how ME1 violates its own premise with another contrivance to get Shepard back on the Citadel at the end. Mass Effect relays aren't teleportation devices, they just allow something to move faster than light by lowering the effective mass temporarily within a field around the object. But suddenly using the mini-relay on the Citadel that was connected Ilos just ignores that to teleport Shepard and the gang onto the Citadel. The Citadel should have been obliterated by the Mako slamming into it at many times the speed of light, because while Eezo effectively lowers the mass of an object for acceleration purposes, it does not actually remove the mass from the physical universe. That's why the effectively infinite ammunition firearms work at all; the shaved off metal particles are accelerated using Eezo to envelope them in a mass effect field, but when they physically hit something the kinetic energy is appropriate for the mass of the particle moving at high speeds despite the mass effect field that allowed its acceleration.

And that's even without getting into the idea that over the centuries no one actually did more than look at the mini-relay? This group of retarded aliens that only manage to do anything by reverse engineering did not break out their tools to examine every single inch of the Citadel and just notice that the small relay statue was, in fact, an actual relay that just operated one way? Really?

>>724737716
IIRC some very ancient species the reapers "tamed" after which they ordered them to take care of the citadel forever, especially to make future races who discover the citadel feel welcome so they'll be weak against a reaper surprise attack.