Thread 725687479

They filtered gorillions

You mean the people who absolutely have to take the words of three drunks as 100% Hard Canon Truth that Asari are some kind of perception altering succubi?

>>725687930
what, you dont think they look like turians?

>Turian tries to headshoot an Asari
>misses because the shot goes for where the head would be if she was a Turian

>>725689213
>They're space mind leeches, that steal your soul, in order to create abominable babies with brainwashing powers, in the service of Satan, which they call their Goddess!
>Subvert the Hierarchy, steal his child
>Yes Goddess
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>>725690468
>Comes out painted blue, something glued to their head to resemble tentacles
>just hammers the shit out of the desk
>HUMANITY ARE THEIR NEWEST AGENTS, THEY'RE GONNA DESTROY THE HIERARCHY, CRACK ALL OUR PLATES AND WEAR EM LIKE TROPHIES AT THEIR SICK SIREN PARTIES

nigga just take a photo of them look at their ancient stone busts of their own visage in their temples nigga how are they shapeshifters

>>725691075
Uhh those are element zero statues
And element zero pictures
Stop thinking about it

Previous asari thread anons sound off

>>725691075
>taking photos of ancient asari works of art on thessia
got a loicense for that?

>>725687930
having them being blue humans is fucking retarded. Them being sex copying parasites makes their design 10x better

how badly will they fuck them up in ME: the re-faggening? (coming 2032)

>>725691573
Is my dick element zero?

>>725693016
There's no way they have till 2032 to release a game. I think 2030 is the longest they can take. And that is if they slip up from Q4 2029, and get an extension to Q1 2030. EA isn't gonna pay senior management salaries to 40 people for 7 years, to lose $120m US on a title that will damage their reputation further. If the show is releasing in 2027, they're gonna want to release in 2028 at the latest. Otherwise, just take them out the back yesterday.

>>725687479 (OP)
I did a playthrough recently. The Asari remind me of Andorians in how much they fucking suck as a species. Their "elite spec ops" teams die in droves, more than any other race, which is shocking really, considering the Salaraian's whole shtick is that they are supposed to be laughably weak but highly intelligent. I believe the mind control succubus theory, if only because the whole galaxy is also convinced that Asari are elegant (they are not), tactical (I think the Vorcha have a better grasp on small unit tactics than they do), and wise (lmao).

They do have giant tits though, that is undeniable fact.

>>725693016
Who cares? How much of a brain dead faggot do you need to be to have any interest in the next bioware game.
What have they done in the last 20 years that makes you think it wouldn't be the worst cancer ever.

>>725693505
>What have they done in the last 20 years
ME2, DA:O

>>725693676
I rest my fucking case.

>>725693925
I hope you're not shitting on DA:O and ME2.

>>725687930
Except you could just look them through a camera. The conspiracy that Asari look like whatever race is looking at them is dumb as hell.

>>725693493
A salient, interesting line of thinking that perhaps has some deeply ingrained meta basis given the older scifi approach of the writing and themes.
I concur with your giant tits observation, they do indeed have rocking knockers.
You now remember Archer boxing that Andorian woman a foot taller than him

>>725693493
>smartasses
>physically weak but uses their "intelligence"
>fucks up constantly and does worse than everyone else in nearly everything blaming others
>only good at socializing and charisma
>constantly deceiving others with manipulation and sex for power
they're literally women... the alien species

>>725695261
>paints on her eyebrows
I think this anon is onto something

>>725691893
I was there

>>725698323
Did you roll and get the green asari clones?

>>725695261
dangerously based, and that's while we'll never hear from you again sadly

>>725698748
I abstain from rollan

>>725699449
>he rolled shit and got peebee
dont worry anon, no one will force that hell on you

>>725687479 (OP)
*blocks your path*

>>725699964
Hold onto your credit chits, gypsies are here

>>725699964
why is the far left one doing that?

>>725687930
Good job derialing the thread with the first post.

Green clone asari anon, I summon you. We never got to share.

>>725699228
typing this from extranet
Mossad Asari have captured me they're using me as a breedi-

>>725702103
F
I hope they at least used lube before using you like a pin cushion.
Let us remember anon as they were, based and airtight

>>725702691
>tfw the one main trilogy femturian aloha snackbars hsrself

>>725703493
what does this mean

>>725687479 (OP)
Imagine being the only human male

>>725703771
Aloha snackbar'd*
exploded herself in the omega dlc

>>725702691
>breasts
WRONG WRONG WRONG

Anon has really done it now

>>725704108
ah yes, i remember.

>>725704359
i agree, i just thought the pic was hot. femgarrus works.

>>725693116
yes because it's so small

>>725694079
Origins was pretty good at least

>>725687479 (OP)
UO LISTEN UP
HERE'S THE STORY
ABOUT A LITTLE GUY
WHO CAME IN A BLUE HOLE

AND ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT
AND EVERYTIME HE CAME
INSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE

>>725694442
>>725695261
I think the mission that really solidified that Asari are fucking retarded was the Quarian mission in 2. Here you have a race of infirms who are almost guarenteed to die of infection if so much as a single bullet ruptures their suit...fighting a ground conflict. In fact, they even have Marines. Yet these paradoxical marines outperfom, and take such little losses compared to Asari Commandos. In fact, every time the Commandos are on screen, it's a total slaughter. I've counted. From the first time we see them on Feros, to their final appearance on Thessia, they are either corpses in the scenery, or you encounter a lone surivor/s of a squad that got wiped out, and of those lone surivors, shepherd kills four of them, rescues two (green bitch and Aria), and Liara is a party member. Like, jesus, what a track record.

>>725714949
To be fair, Reegar was overly competent in a gunfight for a Quarian, his only weakness was not being able to wear actual armour to compensate for his rambo antics

>>725687479 (OP)
I can't imagine possibly still caring about any Bioware crap.

>>725693016
hopefully ME4 will never get released

>>725687479 (OP)
why are asari so bad at warfare?

>>725687930
>>725688649
They just see different appeal in them. It's just Asari, but the Turians, humans, krogans, and salarians focus on different aspects

>expected to play as one of these bitches in Andromeda
>got John McGuns and Autism Girl instead
Lame

>>725716801
>Asari leadership convinces their population that getting fucked by aliens is actually a good thing
>Send soldiers to battle
>they all get captured and screwed
>A few manage to seduce enemy leaders into ending the war
>Another tactical victory
Of course they collapse the moment they face Geth or aliens too indoctrinated to want to fuck them.

>>725703493
>>725704108
And she killed herself for basically no reason. There were half a dozen adjutants surrounding her, and she saw Shepard and Aria running towards her just in time to bubble herself from their attacks.

>>725699449
Just by posting there, you have been designated an Asari that will blow your back out unless it was PeeBee, she ain't doing much with that 5".

>Give the Quarians this body type and don't anticipate that your players might want to fuck the Quarian squadmate
I know they fixed it in ME2 but how retarded do you be have to not expect people to be attracted to her?

So I know that 3 and Andromeda have bad writing, but how are they for just the combat?

>>725723035
They have progressively worse encounter and level design. Which makes the games much worse to play through, in my opinion.

>>725723084
I like them more slender

>procreating with their own race is considered incest and increases chances of having genetic defects
>Has to fuck other species to avoid that.
Did they....fuck their local faunas before reaching the space age??

>>725723208
So slender, she turned 2D

>>725723245
Don't they just need to touch and think about creating a child to do that, unless I'm misremembering?
Technically, you could get raped by a handshake. Or your pet dog after you let your Asari friend pet him.

>>725723035
Haven't played Andromeda so I can't give you an impression but ME3 combat is surprisingly enjoyable.
It's still a Gears-of-War-like cover shooter at heart, but the powers (unless you're playing as a Solider), certain guns (though you've got your regular pew-pew ones) and the enemy variety really elevate it to a new level.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ic8zHLERzY
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw5_MwXQUa8
Unfortunately, I also missed out on ME3 Multiplayer, which also seems like a ton of fun.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h76uTFgfT0

>>725722975
quarian body type supremacy

>>725723375
The ME 1 cutscene showed Liara naked. Asari aren't just petting the dog.

>>725723208
>this tali pose
fucking rock solid

>>725723035
Amdromeda is fun, feels more like a 360 era action game than a TPS though.

>>725723527
>the enemy variety
You fight the same Cerberus troops for 66% of the game.

TAD
TQD

>>725723743
best girl

>>725723691
>>725723743
Based taste

>yuros wake up
>bread derails to gypsy posting
clockwork

>>725723992
stay mad burger

>>725723992
Well said *huff* fellow American *huff*

>>725723758
I'd say the Reaper-Cerberus-Geth ratio is around 50-45-5, but the MP adds Collectors to the roster and allows you to fight enemies of all four types with Platinum difficulty.

>>725723208
slender tali is peak

If YOU were in charge of the Asari, how would you have designed them?

>t-they're just *insert color* humans!
So are quarians and drell. Now what?

snek tali
/thread

>>725724352
With a Big Blue Cock, obviously.

>>725724262
Death to all Quarians.
Femquars and femturs were the #2 contributors to the worst aspects of the fanbase, marginally worse than the asari futa lovers who are a close #3. #1 are femshep lovers.

>>725724380
All three are garbage, next question.

>>725724254
>but the MP
You're not buying ME3 in 2025, you're buying the LE.
Even then, you're only playing the MP on PC, and even that community is dying.
Furthermore, implying everyone even wants to play MP, and even then, the MP was the worst thing that ever happened to Mass Effect.

>>725724478
But what about female Hanar

>>725724615
>the MP was the worst thing that ever happened to Mass Effect
I'd say there were quite a few worse things that happened to ME, even when disregarding the endings and the Andromeda entry.
To be clear, I haven't even played the MP and I modded out the stupid requirements for Galactic Readiness, so I'm not speaking to you as any sort of a MP fan. However, the general consensus is that MP was more fun than it had any right to be and that Bioware again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by not adding it to MELE3.

>>725687479 (OP)
Ah, that's my goon squad.

>>725724478
why so mad

>>725724478
What about futa Femshep lovers?

>>725725118
EDI should've been in human form for this entire animation, that shit was 10/10 design.

>>725725274
I liked both versions.

>>725725785
The hair just does something to me, man.

>>725725828
Fair enough anon.

>>725724868
>>I'd say there were quite a few worse things that happened to ME
I have to disagree. As long as MP money poured in, Bioware felt vindicated in their direction, which led to them never recovering. Even with everything else being shit, had people just not pouted millions into the MP, the message would have made it through. Unfortunately, it did not.

>>725725070
>Why are you mad a good franchise went to shit, led by degenerates and furries?

>>725725118
anything femshep related is the #1 worst thing to happen to the fanbase.

>>725725828
>>The hair just does something to me, man.
Hair is for plebs.

>>725729337
>Bioware felt vindicated in their direction
They most definitely didn't. MP had nothing to do with the backlash they received for the ME3 endings and they only mitigated that debacle with the Extended Cut (which was still shit) and the Citadel DLC.
And you can't say it influenced Anthem, since they've been working on it since mid-2012, if Schreier is to be believed.
>https://kotaku.com/how-biowares-anthem-went-wrong-1833731964

>>725730036
>They most definitely didn't
We had talks with Bioware devs in the official bsn back then that talked about it in that way. So long as the money was flowing, they didn't give a shit, and they said that to our faces. We were a minority and not where the money was.

>>725725118
can't stand rigid's mass effect models, wish he wouldn't spend years at a time on one game

>>725729464
god-tier taste anon

>>725716453
first time im agreeing with an aijeet

>>725730120
I was lurking on BSN around 2013-2014 so I may have missed those particular conversations about MP. I'll take your word on it, but I still don't think ME3's MP was Bioware's death knell.

>>725730989
I think this was around 2015, when the MP was still much more active than now, and support was either winding down, or had stopped completely, but people were still spending money on it. Which is why they probably didn't do anything to fix ME, and instead went for Andromeda.

>>725731150
Well, they wouldn't be fixing a 2012 game in 2015 regardless of the success or faliure of the MP mode. I think only No Man's Sky bothered to revamp the game and that's because their reputation was completely shattered before that point.

>>725687479 (OP)
Mass effect doesn't have a single bad alein design and the people that complain about them usually have the most putrid dogshit ideas about what they should have done instead.

>>725731795
The issue is that, back in 2012 with the EC they addressed all the complaints they thought were important to the franchise, and since the MP pay piggies kept spending money, they thought nothing else mattered, and that so long as the next game had MP and loot boxes, it was going to be successful. And since nothing that the OT mattered, because MP money said so, we got Andromeda, and fuck everything about the Milky Way and the OT. It was all about MP and money. So Andromeda was shit and they didn't really care until they realized that it was the SP that made people engage in the MP and not the MP that made people engage with the franchise. They fucked around and found out, basically. So here we are today, with Bioware having 0 cred anymore in the industry, and a future that is on a day by day basis.

>>725732263
Well, if they were indeed that stupid to believe the MP was the main draw of the franchise, then they've deserved everything they'd got.
And their decision to move the setting to another galaxy shows that they didn't know how to deal with the endings, either vanilla or the EC ones.

>>725732505
>they didn't know how to deal with the endings
They didn't want to. What they presented to the audience in 2012 was not their problem anymore, and they didn't have to address it with Andromeda. It was a win-win situation for them.

>>725732804
>What they presented to the audience in 2012 was not their problem anymore
It still is, which is why both ME5 and the upcoming Amazon(?) series will need to canonize an ending, or risk fucking up again (which is what Bioware is known for doing).

>>725733078
At the very least, in post ME3, post Inquisition Bioware, they didn't believe that. Maybe they believe it now, but I don't think they really care that much. I think the ones left there are OK with EA firing them, cashing in a severance pay and retiring to a WotC studio alongside Corinne Busche.

>>725687479 (OP)
They killed gorillions of sperms because they don't need cum to reproduce and yet they suck every man dry with their pussies when they copulate
Space is weird

>>725695261
>>"""smartasses""" (have lower IQ statistically and are the most prone to schizophrenia, actually statisically proven fact)
>>physically weak but use their """intelligence""" (manipulation) and steal the work of other people
>>fuck up constantly and do worse than everyone else in nearly everything blaming others
>>only good at blaming other and stealing shit
>>constantly deceiving others with manipulation and sex for power

They're space jews actually

>>725725118
I insist you post your extranet cord

>>725720231
You're getting an elite squad dispatched to take your back out

>>725687479 (OP)
2 looks like she'd punch you in the balls if you know what i mean

>>725735801
It's good to have dreams, anon

Leaked footage from the next ME
haha I wish

>>725736118
miranda and liara/asari will do

>>725736118
>>725736375
I need more proof*

>>725736250
>>725736375
That's about as close as a sfw thing I have.
Can't post the rest.

>>725736419
What happens in the rest, anon?

>>725736523
@subjectxxx on x

>>725722975
>how retarded do you be have to not expect people to be attracted to her?
We ARE talking about Bioware here. You know, "romancing dwarves is icky" the company.

>>725699964
>gives white men a muslim girl fetish

>>725736752
>miranda is just a hole
>even for her packing self
Superb taste anon

>>725723347
what happens if you don't hit the paragon button?

>>725730120
Thank ME2 for that. The multiplayer was legitimately fun and had soul. The masses of players clearly wanted ME to be Gears of War, so it makes perfect sense they added a 4 man horde mode and a bunch of new classes, weapons and powers since that was obviously more important than the main story or world building to the audience at large. Trying to blame the MP for what it itself was merely a symptom of is retarded.

>>725723084
American Quarian.

>>725732038
TRVKE

>>725737096
>we never got to hatelust fuck

>>725737003
>Obviously ME2 meant retarded horde modes and lootbox predatory practices, instead of the things it was actually praised for
You are so retarded, I am taking video games away from you.

>>725732038
Apart from the shitty stock image edit Tali, I agree.

>>725687479 (OP)
Could they have taken em?

>>725737390
I dont remember there being any incentive to buy those. It was a pve

>>725737491
>4 on 2
>blue on blue
Yeah, I reckon they could easily take them. Would be messy though

>>725699228
You don't want to know what the Asari do with young men they capture...

>>725737390
>things it was praised for
>99% of what it was praised for was its combat, classes and weapons being improved over one
Yes, it was inetivable. At least with 3 they just stopped pretending anyone cared about its story and only wanted third person cover combat and the success of the mode proves they were correct to do so.

>>725737408
deathcum

>>725701686
Adjusting her suit.

>>725737408
So that's how peebee ended up looking the way she did

>>725718496
Yeah, that's the whole joke of that conversation. The drunks are on to something - Asari have evolved to appeal to various races so they have a little bit of everything in their looks. They're all referring to features you can actually see on Asari. But they don't realise that's what it is and jump to a drunken conclusion.

>>725737408
i can honestly see ardat yakshi having an important role in society where they send off the elderly or terminally ill with the greatest orgasm of their life

What if every female teammate was forced to become a quarian?

>>725687479 (OP)
Asari should've been eldritch shapeshifters. Them looking like human females with weird heads is EXCEEDINGLY lame.

>>725738527
Considering they fry your nervous system, it's like having a seizure, not an orgasm.

Best waif is green waif.

>>725742304
Based and green pilled

>>725737180
Aria and Shiala are top of the "needed to be fucked" list

>>725737579
That's the point, though. People bought shitloads of them. It showed Bioware that people wanted MP and lootboxes, and that they could make more money that way than by making DLC or even selling the game. In the first year alone they made $50m US from lootboxes alone.

>>725737701
Since you obviously weren't around then, I don't know why you feel the need to spew lies about what happened.

>>725743229
All the green clones too

>>725745345
>ME2 apologist has entered the thread
Get fucked retard. Even here the single biggest thing people will say bad about 1 is the combat sucked, and the most common thing they say about 2 is it has better combat. 3 has better combat yet and simply continued the transition from autistic sci fi rpg into third person cover shooter that had already been set in motion by that point. Adding a horde mode multiplayer was merely logical at this point, and was already a popular game mode in the very game me 2 was most imitating. Andromeda simply furthered this trend even more where the most praised aspect of it is again the combat and the most hated is the world building and story telling, but this is simply the final metastasis of the cancer that ME2 gave us.

Like I said the incredible success of the game mode proves my point for me, and demonstrates that BioWare/EA had read the player base perfectly and knew exactly what they wanted

>>725745692
>Get fucked retard
And this is where I stop engaging with your argument. You're not starting a good faith argument, you don't even care what happened.

>>725745785
>you're lying and weren't there
>I'm not being dishonest you are
Lol, lmao
>reads first sentence
>I stopped engaging you here
>you're arguing in bad faith
This is your brain on the ME2 reddit train. Perhaps explain why the fuck the multiplayer was even added, and why it was so successful then.

>>725746037
>you're lying and weren't there
That is true, you did lie, because you weren't there, and don't know the conversation. You made a claim that 99% of the praise ME2 was for the combat. Good combat alone doesn't make ME2 a GOTYAY contender. Now, you can say that as far as ME2 getting praise goes, combat was always part of the conversation, but to say that 99% was ONLY combat and nothing else involved is patently a lie. So you obviously made that part up.
If combat alone was all it took, then Andromeda was the best Mass Effect and should have infinitely more praise than any Bioware game before it. So, again, patently not true, therefore a lie.

>>725746382
>you're lying and weren't there
this is where I stop engaging with your argument since you're clearly not starting a good faith argument.

>>725746665
I accept your concession.

>>725746815
Thanks for proving my point for me

Is this Miranda Lawson energy?

>>725746382
>Mass Effect 2 is the perfect fusion of the shooter and RPG genres
>Mass Effect 2 strikes a perfect balance between intense shooter action and gut-wrenching drama
>The gameplay is extremely effective in terms of its new cover system and leaner, more focused action
>Mass Effect 2 is a triumph of an action game
>The recipe is easy: More action, less roleplaying. Oh boy, Mass Effect 2 is a fun game!
>The loss of RPG elements may hit some people hard
>The game still probably won’t appeal to RPG purists due to it being focused heavily towards the action gamer
>Mass Effect 2 gives you an opportunity to play a role, but I'd be hesitant to call it a role-playing game. So what is it exactly? A really robust action-adventure
>Even though I’m sad to see the role-playing elements were neutered
>On most levels it’s hard to fault Mass Effect 2; this is a sequel that polishes many of the original’s faults, tightening the combat
Wow. Literally the only other thing that really gets mentioned is "it's so cinematic and the voice acting is great and it's all so deep. It's literally capeshit and the reviews for it are basically verbatim the same crap from TLOU or the new God of War games.

>writing fanfiction and passing it on as true
I seriously hope you guys don't do this

>>725748205
>those arent all headers from contemporary reviews
Wew lad careful, it's going to become painfully obvious you never read any of those reviews you speak with such authority on lol.

>>725748205
>writing fanfiction and passing it on as true
You'd have to be an extra kind of pathetic to do that.

Stop giving the ME2 schizo attention.

>>725748205
>>725748679
>Samefagging cuz he's too busy to research the thing he clearly wasn't actually there for
O I am laffin

>>725748679
Yeah, gotta be seriously no-life pathetic, basement dwelling retard kind of person. Like, who would believe that stuff?

>>725747459
Is that supposed to be a diamond encrusted garter belt? I can see Miranda strutting in the bedroom in one.

>>725748930
>you're arguing in bad faith
>literally just samefagging the same tired insult even when presented with proof he's wrong
I accept your concession, graceless as it was

>>725749185
Personally, I am more invested in the tummy and the obliques. I think that's a lot more what Miranda's body would look like if she were real.

lol @the triggered moron that people won't engage his fanfiction.

>>725749385
>bitch replying begins
like clockwork.
https://www.metacritic.com/game/mass-effect-2/critic-reviews/?platform=pc
Tell me again all about how were there lol

>>725748760
I really ought to

>>725749385
Yeah, he really seems to be having a Melty B

I believe in Human-Asari Union.
According to lore, Asari are distant relatives to human , "seeded" on another planet hundreds of thousands of millenia ago. Made for each other :3

>>725749745
>>According to lore, Asari are distant relatives to human
Is it really?

>>725725274
I enjoy the hyper sexed up bot look too much to agree

>>725746382
>umm ackhsually it wasn't literally 99%
So you work for Snopes?

>>725738527
>>725741091
Why can't you just have Ardat-Yakshi feed on convicts/batarians and use the non lethal version of their mind control for good? It's not like Asari are pacifists.

>>725749678
Isn't it pathetic how after all this time, he is still going on? Like, he's gotta get over it. People get called out on the internet all the fucking time.

Genuine mental illness

>>725750668
After the Reaper War, does she have any other purpose than being Futashep's sex bot?
Jocker can unclog her orifices afterwards

>>725751151
Because it's addictive. They WILL become completely unable to resist succing others eventually.

>>725752682
Well, just give them more Batarians to succ

>>725751925
kek, xe's just a sad pathetic loser
and still going on, just can't help ximself