Name a Pokemon with a worse life than the Shellder who is stuck perpetually biting Slowbro's tail.

>>57954323 (OP)
>getting all the nutrients he needs
>doesn’t need to fight anyone
>endless supply of the tastiest snack in the Pokémon world
he’s fine

Spinda

Isn’t Parasect canonically a zombie?

>>57954323 (OP)
>Psyduck
Imagine having an endless uncontrollable, painful migraine that will stay with you forever unless you evolve.
>Magikarp
An incredibly weak prey pokemon that is food for everything until it evolves. You can't do anything to defend yourself but weak tackles and flopping.
>Spoink
You have to constantly bounce on your tail or else you gain heart failure and croak.
>Galar fossilmons
Living your life resurrected as a handicapped amalgamated freak with tons of potential health issues.

The shelder is pretty much a leech that continually gets free nutrition from the slowpoke. Not the worst fate.

>>57954327
He looks pretty pissed off though. Like he hates the Slowbro's guts.

>>57954348
He’s pissed that (You)’re taking a picture of his buddy without asking.

>>57954338
Yeah. Paras and the mushrooms growing on it exist symbiotically. When it evolves to Parasect the mushrooms overtake the bug and control it.

>>57954323 (OP)
Shellder is the ultimate NEET. He's living the dream.

>>57954323 (OP)
Does it have to smell the shit and farts

>blind
>have to bump into everything and bite anything that seems edible
>body is covered in wounds
>evolve
>grow a second head that hates you, get into fights with it constantly, be it to compete for food or even just deciding on directions
>body is covered in scars just because of this

And even Hydreigon has a dex entry that says people used to consider it to be evil incarnate and would attack it relentlessly. It's a rough life for the Deino line.

>>57954323 (OP)
the broken exeggcute

Is it headcanon to think that pokedex entries are lies/bullshit?
There's some entries that don't make sense to me based on various factors (with the most commom one being a mon having a move they can learn when they shouldn't) and then people call me a schizoid autist.

>>57954826
Seems like a skill issue to me.
The Pokémon clearly has a nose, so why does it needs to bump on things?

>>57954323 (OP)
It’s not stuck. It can be removed and then the Slowbro becomes a Slowpoke again (since the “evolution” is just it becoming stronger thanks to Shellder’s poison activating its brain)

>>57954907
You try not bumping into anything with your eyes closed.

>>57954323 (OP)
The Shellder could literally just let go if it wants. It chose this life.

>>57954323 (OP)
As >>57954342 said, Spoink and Galar fossilmons

>>57954323 (OP)
The real question is how have they never revisited making the Slowbro form of Shellder an actual mon

>>57954323 (OP)
>>57954323 (OP)
Slowbro is the inspiration for the Human Centipede Movie

>>57954323 (OP)
>The bug is mostly dead, with the mushroom on its back having become the main body. If the mushroom comes off, the bug stops moving.

>Be Necrozma
>Be a sweet ass light dragon that gives everyone light and shit
>You can powet worlds with the energy radiating from your body
>In fact, you even send your light through to other dimensions. You've got so much fucking light, let it help some other universes out
>Get the title of The Blinding One and become revered as a cultural hero for your trouble
>However, the now melanin enriched people get greedy
>They overdo the energy draining process and break you
>Like literally break you. There are pieces of you and your energy now scattered across dimensions.
>Can't produce light for shit now. Oh shit, most of your body was light. UUUUUHHHH you can fix this! Just put your head here and your feet there.
>Haha, looking great necrozma!
>Now you’re in constant pain. Your feet are now your hands and your wings are now wedged in your former eye sockets to act as feet.
>Suffer from massive head (full body) aches. Everything is missing. Body now stops moving and builds painful impurities if you don’t eat light.
>Devour the light of the world you're in but it isn't enough
>Head to another dimension where a bunch of your body parts landed along with a ton of your light energy.
>Show up to eat some light and some grown up space farts, but some asshole fairies/ humans show up and kick your ass back to your own dimension using super moves powered by some of your own excess light that you sent through dimensions
>When you return home, the now blue people chain you up in a tower to continue powering their civilization.
>As you’re pinned to the tower floor, somehow, you just know that in the dimension you were just kicked out of, that they're carving out pieces of your body and handing them out to children to do some dumb growing up right of passage bullshit that involves Yokai Watch dances.
>You're never going to be completely again are you?

>Wait hundreds of years, in pain, trapped in the tower until your bonds finally loosen.
>All the while, the blue people are incompetently plotting your demise.
>Just as you’re about to escape, a talking Pheromosa and a wigger show up screaming about how you stole her husband from her and how she's going to be everyone's savior.
>Slap them so hard that you wind up in that dimension you got kicked out of.
>Eat the light of the world and shove your prism into a recently evolved solgaleo/ lunala’s dome.
>Feel slightly content for the first time in eons.
>Feel so happy that you accidentally open up a few wormholes to who knows where.
>About to apologize when an eleven year old wearing a carved our chunk of your body as a wristband walks up to you, stares at you blankly, and kicks your ass.
>Land in your old prison panting on the floor.
>At least you're safe no-
>The eleven year old show up again
>Oh shit! Light dragon time!
>They send out a mimikyu bred with curse/ a zoraork disguised as a poison or fighting type/ any bulky dark or steel type/ something with a focus sash with toxic/ perish song/ endeavor + priority and kick your ass
>Get hit in the gut so hard that you spit out the light and the space fart and crawl into a wormhole
>Okay, easy does it...
>Fall out of the wormhole and crash into a mountain so hard that there's a chunk of the peak missing. There’s even an impact crater.
>You're now just laying on your hands (legs) and knees (wings) panting in some frozen shithole.
>The eleven year old shows up again but you literally don't have the energy to deal with this shit.
>Say fuck it and ask for some light. They let you touch that severed chunk of your flesh that they're wearing as a fashion statement, and you actually regain some of your energy.
>They then beat the shit out of you and catch you in a ball.
>The last thing you see as your consciousness fades out is an internet explorer logo watching you from the shadows.

>>57954323 (OP)
>if a Shellder lets go it merely reverts back to Slowpoke
>if the parasitic mushroom is detached from Parasect, it dies

Epilogue
>Be necrozma
>For the first time in eons, life is decent
>The small child that caught you is way better the blue people.
>They’ve somehow convinced their solgaleo/ lunala to let you leech off of them
>You can turn into your ultra form (in battle) whenever
>You even make money demonstrating Z-moves to tourists via evaporating wingulls.
>You’re even feed you a diet of malasadas, tropical light, and beans
>After everything you’ve been through, this is paradise.
>Hopefully you won’t be deported to a region where the food sucks, your ultra form and z-moves don’t exist, and it’s always overcast (ew) like in Galar haha.

>>57954323 (OP)
As of gen 7, it’s confirmed that lucario can sense the thought waves of the furries from at least half a mile away. They are very stressed and no longer proud of their power.

The entire hatterene line as a species has the same problem with other people having emotions as Cyrus. They’re just less whiny and gay about it.

>>57959866
All thanks to that one OC with the piercings.

>>57954323 (OP)
Spoink

>>57954327
>Get's hit by attacks during battle and can't fight back
OVER

>>57958126
>Extra-dimensional divine being of light, almost more god than dragon
>Utterly subjugated by humans
100% deserved. Survival of the fittest.

>>57959968
Poor spoink doesn’t even get feet.

>>57954887
the only dex entries that are explicitly meant to be read as total bullshit are the SV ones for the alternate version paradox mons, which canonically cite a sensationalized tabloid that has zero credibility.
outside of this, there are a lot of entries that are tantamount to speculation and hypotheses bordering on guesswork, and many that refer to rumors and legends about pokémon rather than factual analyses of them, but by and large you're expected to take pokédex entries at face value as the current state of research on a given pokémon.

>>57954887
You actually have it great here.
In any other fanbase you'd be treated much worse for disregarding official info.

>>57954342
As someone who has chronic migrains I can tell you that this 100% worse than bitting on a tail

>>57960990
Yeah, and speaking as someone with fibromyalgia, I should qualify for disability, I should not have to work.

>>57954327
Don’t forget that it gets all the energy from the mega

>>57954338
>Parasect
beat me to it

>>57959968
>bouncing is how it circulates blood
>if it stops bouncing, its heart stops

>>57954854
Going by plant logic, that’s probably just the seed coat breaking, so it’s probably the most likely to germinate. Honestly probably has it the best out of all of them.

Komala
>It is born asleep, and it dies asleep. All its movements are apparently no more than the results of it tossing and turning in its dreams.

>>57954323 (OP)
rotom

>>57954323 (OP)
Cubone. Their moms keeps dying and now mandibuzz like to swoop down and eat them/ use their bones for vullaby diapers.

>>57956775
For the bug, his struggles are over.

>>57963461
Beneath Mount Lanakila, Komala has awakened. Now Sleepers and Dreamers all are risen, and the dust is blown away.

>>57954826
While not exactly stated by the dex entries ('the head which eats the most becomes the leader'), I headcanon that both Zweilous heads are in a constant fight for survival, as only one dominant head remains when they evolve into Hydreigon. The losing head becomes one of the brainless headhands.

>>57959968
Poor spoink has to evolve into grumpig