The idea of sticking your dick inside an icy cold spectral spirit would haunt even the most hardcore gooner on the planet. The unsettling, horrific feelings it would give you, to look into their dark eyes and know you did something so unspeakable that it will live with you forever. Thats not even to mention what will happen if you happen to die, and become a ghost yourself. You will NEVER escape from what you've done. Even in death, you will be cursed.

And in this, I claim supreme victory over gooners. Fuck all of you. For years you told me I couldn't find a pokemon type that you wouldn't crank it to. But I think I've really outdone myself this time. Most ghosts don't take the form of anything even remotely sexual, literally the purest types. And most are tied to stories of horrific real-world ghosts or urban legends.

Oh what are you gonna do? Fuck a chandelier? Fuck a tree? Fuck a dead piece of coral? Fuck a jellyfish maybe? Yeah, thats what I thought bozo. Ain't no waifus here, and even if you could find an edge case. I doubt you'd want to be eternally bonded to an obsessed ghost stalker.

>>57986601 (OP)
don't know about you but I'd love a Litwick dripping hot candlewax over my balls

Did you forget Misdreavus?
>I doubt you'd want to be eternally bonded to an obsessed ghost stalker
Did you forget where you are?

>>57986601 (OP)
Are you fucking stupid? Ghost type has a lot of hot Pokémon. Banette, Froslass, Misdreavus line + Flutter Mane, Oricorio, H-Zoroark etc etc. Hell, I'd get a handy from from Chandelure, since its arm things are shown to be pretty flexible.

Who are you trying to fool? Stupid fucking puriteen.

>>57986601 (OP)
Are there even Rock type waifumons?
>Diancie
Now you try sticking your dick in that sharp diamond deathtrap

You'd be wrong.

>>57986810

>>57986826
Cute ass wolf!

>>57986810
ogerpon

>>57986601 (OP)
>>57986810
Yall niggas lack creativity and passion.
It's not all about sticking your dick into a hole. As far we know, they might not even have any orifices outside of their head. But there are so many other things you can do with a Pokémon.
Almost every Pokémon has a mouth and tongue, so they can make out with you and give you oral.
Most of them have arms or other appendages, so handjobs are easy too.
And then there's things only Pokémon can do. Who knows, maybe a Ghost Pokémon can possess my dick and make me cum hands free or something. There are many things to explore.

>>57986957
Ghost types could form genitals of the required compatibility from their spectral energy. I agree, too many people have too limited a view on sexual interactions with pokémon.

>>57986601 (OP)
You underestimate the powers of horny

>>57987029
Rotom phones can be used to play and record porn.

>>57987073
Yes, but that's less fucking and more cucking, anon.

>>57986601 (OP)
I guarantee that there's someone here who has a complete Masturbation Dex, with every single Pokemon ticked off and cumstained.

>>57987073
Mindbreaking your Rotom by having it play porn 24/7

>>57987111
Eh, counts as a sexual practice.
>>57987124
Yeah you get it.

>>57987029
>misdreavus and flutter mane not in definitely fuckable
holy goddamn shit taste

>>57986601 (OP)
anon you literally put the pokémon i wish i could make out with as the main pic for this thread
sorry but chandelure fuckers exist and i am one of them

>>57986824
/thread

>>57987385
>make out with
How though?

>>57987385
>anon you literally put the pokémon i wish i could make out with as the main pic for this thread
Anon... Its literally a chandelier... A FUCKING CHANDELIER. That fucking thing that rich people and old grandmas have hanging up in their house!

>sorry but chandelure fuckers exist and i am one of them
This is why I will never understand you pokefuckers. I started this OP. Confident. I was convinced that even you fucking people wouldn't sink this low. But get a load of this guy >>57987029 making an entire tier list of just how "fuckable" each ghost is...

... Level with me here ok? Help me to fucking understand. Because I do not. How is it that we have a series with more perfectly proportioned women in it than most. That we have an entire library of every flavor of woman. That the SUPPOSEDLY STRAIGHT MEN who browse this board could jerk it to! And you're telling me with no lies, that you'd rather fuck the CHANDELIER, than ANY of the women in ANY of the games or manga or anime???

They literally have a bitch for you with every body type and hair color and skin tone you could want! Look at HEX MANIAC, you don't think she's into some freaky shit? She'd probably let you do anal on the first date! Like, I get it, you guys are freaks, but like, I just don't understand why you have to fuck the >>57986824 horse or you've gotta fuck a >>57986994 tree!

What the fuck are you gonna do when you leave this place and get a girlfriend? "Aww sorry honey, I can't fuck tonight unless you put on the horse costume!" Like and I mean... They're ghosts too, again, your soul is gonna get bonded to an ethereal entity and you're just like so casual about it! WHY??

high effort but the bait is still too obvious

>>57987847
Listen anon, it's really simple. Like really, REALLY simple.

Imagine you're in a restaurant. All the entrees look absolutely delicious. There's a huge selection that could satisfy basically every single taste.
And then you keep turning the pages, and get to the desserts. "What the hell," you say, "who the hell orders desserts?! All these entrees, why would you want something sweet and less filling for dinner?!"

Do you realize how stupid you sound now?
People like variety. Most people who like Pokephilia also like humans. Some don't, usually because they are some sort of asexual, their sexuality espresses in different ways.
Is that really so hard to understand?

Also, I do have a girlfriend. She likes Pokephilia too. We both draw and show each other our art, which is sometimes porn. I bought her a Bad Dragon dildo for her birthday once. Is that such a hard concept for you to grasp? That's sad.

>>57986601 (OP)
oh sweet summe kid

>>57987909
just for the record, Chandemaid is canon

they know their audience

>>57987900
I've never been in a thrift store before and thought, "Wow this lamp is super fuckable, I wonder how deep I can fit it inside, I bet it'd be even hotter if I glued some cartoon eyes on the lampshade!"

Because to me, thats the mindset you'd have to be in, in order to constantly find even these mundane object mons hot.

I'm happy you found someone that shares your kink. To me I just really... Don't get it.

>>57987909
>>57987914
Is this all it takes for you people? If I put a dress on random objects in my house and glued cartoon googly eyes on them are you people going to be fucking my fridge and my microwave because you think you've discovered a new pokemon or something?

>>57987944
That depends, is it a cute fridge?

>>57987944
But they're not objects, anon. They're Pokémon. They're alive, they think and feel, they're about as intelligent as humans, sometimes beyond that.
THAT'S the appeal. It's an exotic creature. It emotes and communicates. It's exciting cause it's different and unconventional.

It's really not that complicated.

>>57986601 (OP)
>>57987847
>>57987944
Counter question anon: why do you care?
Does your autism not allow other people have other opinions? Do you not understand why not everyone has your taste? Not everyone wants to jerk it to hex maniac and nothing else, shit gets boring after a while yknow
Some people can only get off to vanilla, others can only get off to fantasising about transforming into a pool inflatable shaped like Lugia
So why does it bother you that other people want to fuck weird things, just stop caring and move on, you'll never understand other people's tastes

>>57988017
it takes a very autistic mind to act like OP
i will never understand how people find shit like vore/guro/scat/whatever arousing but i'm not completely unable to comprehend the idea like he is

>>57987847
>And you're telling me with no lies, that you'd rather fuck the CHANDELIER, than ANY of the women in ANY of the games or manga or anime???
yes

if you want a serious answer, I just think the idea of getting my soul absorbed by Chandelure sounds hot as hell. metaphorical sex. my physical body be damned, he can stimulate my SOUL.

>>57988031
The French do call orgasms "little death"...

>>57986810
i'd diancie

>>57987029
Why is Jellicent fuckable but not Frillish?

>>57988106
It should be the other way round if anything

>>57988031
The origin of horror is the cautionary tale. How do you stop your children from misbehaving, staying up too late, or going out into the woods? You tell them the boogieman or a ghost hides in the forest or under their bed. Same thing with adults, except then you would tell them a place was haunted, or cursed, and that ghosts or vengeful spirits lurked around.

Before the modern era, people were superstitious, and often took it as fact. That if you did go into the dark woods alone a horrible monster awaited you there. And a gruesome fate yet to follow. Any traveler who didn't heed the stories wouldn't be heard from again. You're taking the mystery, suspense and fear from ghosts. The very thing that makes them so interesting. They being the interlopers between life and death, who walk a twilights edge between our world and theirs.

And you'd reduce all of it to some cheap masturbatory fantasy? The origin of these pokemon, a pokemon like Froslass actually has a legend behind it. The Yuki Onna. And many others have canonical lore behind them that could make for interesting stories, or scenarios. But if they're just wank material I doubt anyones taking the time to really think about that.

why do /vp/spergs struggle so hard to comprehend other people's viewpoints

>>57987900
>getting your "gf" a dildo
you're a cuck for letting her get fucked by an inanimate object

>>57988667
>you're a cuck for letting her get fucked by an inanimate object
But if he lets his gf fuck objectmons thats not cuckery?

>>57986601 (OP)
>The idea of sticking your dick inside an icy cold spectral spirit

That's a fire type, though. The "icy cold spectral spirit" would be Froslass and I'm 100% sure people have jerked off to her.

>>57986601 (OP)
Your weird fixation on other men's dicks and hating your own sexuality is more shameful and mentally ill than jacking off to literally anything. Every time you start babbling about "gooners" you are making an absolute fool of yourself

>>57988324
>struggle so hard to comprehend other people's viewpoints
You're entitled to do whatever you want. Still seems strange to me that you'd want to fuck a dead pokemon over a living human. At least the things that most people want to fuck have a pulse.

>>57988818
>That's a fire type, though
And you think that its some kind of natural heat? I think you'd feel an uneasy chill no matter how hot the will o wisp gets.

>>57988897
>Your weird fixation on other men's dicks
Its actually a fixation on what about fucking an undead objectmon gets peoples rocks off. And the most I've been able to come up with is that people like them because they have human-like intelligence and come in familiar shapes.

I'm quite fascinated as I would be in ANY horror story. Sticking your dick inside a spirt or cadaver isn't even remotely normal. And you're dealing with matters of eternity. Matters of the soul. Its not just some one time fling. You're not gonna fuck gengar and wake up totally normal the next morning. I really don't think anyone who's actually considered fucking a ghost really thought about the actual implications of what fucking ghosts would mean for them. What that would mean for them even after death. The concept of an eternal bond.

Most guys won't sign a cell phone contract if it means they have to make payments for 2 years. But you're telling me the average gooner here is willing to sell their entire soul to be forever bonded to a fucking ghost on a whim?

>>57988316
they're pokémon my guy, one of the main design philosophies of Pokémon is that all of them should look like a creature you could be friends with.
even when they're based on horror, the idea is never that you should be afraid of X Pokémon no matter what, because that defeats the entire point of the franchise.

>>57988667
You're like those dumb bitches who get jealous because their bf looks at other women. Grow a fucking spine you loser.

>>57989220
..anon, you do realise that there are guys out there that want to fuck xenomorphs, right?

..I think by comparison, "spooky tree" is a lot less scary.