Anonymous
6/17/2025, 4:22:13 PM No.11806575
Let's be real: this controller looks like shit, but it's comfy and on top of that it has 2 unique features that any other controller had during its generation:
>Dual stage triggers.
>Octagonal gate
On the other hand, this controllers is missing:
>L1 or White button.
GameCube has just one bumper button: DualShock 2 has both and Duke/S compensate it with White and Black buttons.
>No Select/Back
>No L3/LS & R3/RS
---
Tendie faggots on /vr/ swear it’s the “perfect” controller for Super Smash Bros. and Super Monkey Ball. Bullshit. A modern Pro Controller or Boxx works just as well, and anyone who’s played Super Monkey Ball on Xbox knows that octagonal gate is pure tendie retardation.
The GameCube’s weird-ass layout screwed it over. Devs couldn’t port games easily (mini DVD aside), and some, like True Crime, ended up with controls jankier than a drunk toddler. I grew up with a GameCube, and only Metroid Prime and Super Mario Sunshine really vibe with this thing.
The octagonal gate? Retarded. And those dual-stage triggers? Cool idea, poor execution. You gotta pull the trigger fully to hit the digital click. In Metroid, you aim with the analog pull and shoot with the click, but you can’t shoot without aiming down sights (ADS). Map shoot to A? Sure, but using your thumb instead of your index kills immersion. Super Mario Sunshine tried fixing this by flipping it: pull to shoot water, click to aim in third-person. Still, you’re forced into extra inputs. Their “fix”? Add a first-person aim with another button. Two actions, three buttons: pure retardation 'fixing' a problem you created just for the sake of it.
I'm aware that even Nintendo knows this controller is for retards; this is the reason why they don't even care about analog triggers at all but even with that, I believe there's a genre or a game that justify this retardation, but I haven't seen it. Which is it?
>Dual stage triggers.
>Octagonal gate
On the other hand, this controllers is missing:
>L1 or White button.
GameCube has just one bumper button: DualShock 2 has both and Duke/S compensate it with White and Black buttons.
>No Select/Back
>No L3/LS & R3/RS
---
Tendie faggots on /vr/ swear it’s the “perfect” controller for Super Smash Bros. and Super Monkey Ball. Bullshit. A modern Pro Controller or Boxx works just as well, and anyone who’s played Super Monkey Ball on Xbox knows that octagonal gate is pure tendie retardation.
The GameCube’s weird-ass layout screwed it over. Devs couldn’t port games easily (mini DVD aside), and some, like True Crime, ended up with controls jankier than a drunk toddler. I grew up with a GameCube, and only Metroid Prime and Super Mario Sunshine really vibe with this thing.
The octagonal gate? Retarded. And those dual-stage triggers? Cool idea, poor execution. You gotta pull the trigger fully to hit the digital click. In Metroid, you aim with the analog pull and shoot with the click, but you can’t shoot without aiming down sights (ADS). Map shoot to A? Sure, but using your thumb instead of your index kills immersion. Super Mario Sunshine tried fixing this by flipping it: pull to shoot water, click to aim in third-person. Still, you’re forced into extra inputs. Their “fix”? Add a first-person aim with another button. Two actions, three buttons: pure retardation 'fixing' a problem you created just for the sake of it.
I'm aware that even Nintendo knows this controller is for retards; this is the reason why they don't even care about analog triggers at all but even with that, I believe there's a genre or a game that justify this retardation, but I haven't seen it. Which is it?
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