Anonymous
8/11/2025, 12:29:24 AM No.11935903
I played this game 20 years ago on the GBA when it first came out and I remember loathing it, but all the little church boys on GameFAQs were INSISTENT that the problem lie with me. So, it’s been twenty years. I beat this fucker back when Saddam was still alive, and now it’s try to do one more lap.
Hey, maybe I’m older and wiser right? Maybe I won’t have such preconceived notions and can try to enjoy the game for what it is, not what I want it to be.
Nope.
This thing is ass. Which is a hard thing to say, because it looks FANTASTIC. It sounds amazing! It’s got great atmosphere, and an interesting premise!
But it also ACTIVELY HATES THE PLAYER and DOES NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE ANY FUN.
Every five fucking minutes I have to go talk to that computer, and god forbid I try to go anywhere other than explicitly where I’m supposed to. Even when I do find some super hidden shit and feel smart, nope - that’s the way you were supposed to go *anyway*. And there are CONSTANT screw attack walls blocking hidden upgrades. No big deal, I’ll come back when I have that. Except you won’t. After all the shitty bosses and suffering, you finally get that screw attack, but if you talk to the computer before you go explore - OH WELL, go fuck yourself. It’s bad enough that you get the final upgrade just five minutes before the end of the game, but WORSE that they lock you out of using that power?
(But anon if you beat the game and reload your save, you can go-) Yeah but it doesn’t fucking tell you that, does it? It just asks you if you want to start over, which I assume means New Game Plus? You never know with this game because it’s a constant battle of “How the fuck was I supposed to know that”. So you restart the game and now your old save is gone and FUCK THIS GAME.
Hey, maybe I’m older and wiser right? Maybe I won’t have such preconceived notions and can try to enjoy the game for what it is, not what I want it to be.
Nope.
This thing is ass. Which is a hard thing to say, because it looks FANTASTIC. It sounds amazing! It’s got great atmosphere, and an interesting premise!
But it also ACTIVELY HATES THE PLAYER and DOES NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE ANY FUN.
Every five fucking minutes I have to go talk to that computer, and god forbid I try to go anywhere other than explicitly where I’m supposed to. Even when I do find some super hidden shit and feel smart, nope - that’s the way you were supposed to go *anyway*. And there are CONSTANT screw attack walls blocking hidden upgrades. No big deal, I’ll come back when I have that. Except you won’t. After all the shitty bosses and suffering, you finally get that screw attack, but if you talk to the computer before you go explore - OH WELL, go fuck yourself. It’s bad enough that you get the final upgrade just five minutes before the end of the game, but WORSE that they lock you out of using that power?
(But anon if you beat the game and reload your save, you can go-) Yeah but it doesn’t fucking tell you that, does it? It just asks you if you want to start over, which I assume means New Game Plus? You never know with this game because it’s a constant battle of “How the fuck was I supposed to know that”. So you restart the game and now your old save is gone and FUCK THIS GAME.
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