I've always wanted to be a creative ever since I was young. I've day dreamed about being one and tried working my ass off trying to write ever since I was around 12. My parents tried pushing me towards it for school assignments. I also wanted to draw but never got into it seriously.

I've been wanting to write again for nearly 2 years now and have barely made any progress towards that goal. I've only done one little drabble like 2 years ago and haven't done any exercises since then. I've been trying to get myself to write, but all of it looks too complicated and exhausting for me. I've tried multiple different strategies, but they never seem to work. I've tried forcing myself to write, but can only make myself write a couple of sentences for barely 30 seconds before stopping and looking at my phone again.

I've never been able to complete a single multichapter story in my entire life and actually coming up with stories isn't much better. I can't think anything through and everything about trying to make an entire story looks too hard for me. I want to be a creative really badly, but nothing I've done seems to have amounted to much of anything. I want to become one so badly, and I want to stop wasting my life doing nothing.


Pic related is the only thing I've managed to draw in a few months.

howie copypasta do not engage
https://find.4chan.org/?q=%22wanted+to+be+a+creative+ever%22

>>1533338
I'm drawing; which is exactly what everyone has been wanting me to do.

>>1533340
you should kill yourself so we don't have to see your garbage threads anymore

>>1533388
Why not just give advice?

>>1533336 (OP)
You have it really hard with all your conditions. It's not easy for you. It's amazing you managed to draw a few times now. Take things at your own speed and don't be too hard on yourself. Draw when you feel like it. Don't push yourself mentally too much.
You got this. It's amazing you managed to draw in the past. You can repeat this. It will happen!
How big is the fear of you not drawing again? Are you able to increase that fear? Harness the fear. Ride on its back.
The apathy makes it hard to feel anything, right? You are in a state of depression and that is making you not drawing or feel the fear of rotting away and not doing anything.
Tell me about your past. Has it always been like this? Or was there a starting point when the apathy set in?
What are your current living arrangements? What is the place like where you drew last time? Can you describe that desk?
You are a writer, right? Describe the place you were drawing at.
It's not easy for you. And it is, honestly, really mean how you were called names in the past. What would be name we should call you instead of the slurs people have given you?
Helping you requires learning about you. You're a human and you deserve being heard.
I'm trying to help you by understanding you a bit better. I can understand your point that you need help. It's, honestly, great that you're seeking help from people. There's lots of people who won't even reach out in the first place. I don't want to call you Howie because that would be insulting.
Is there currently a piece of paper near within reach near you?
It's fine. Starting art is a very daring thing. I'm glad you're reaching out. I'll be here for you.

>>1533422
my advise is to go kill yourself

Bump

>>1533868
kill yourself

>>1533336 (OP)
>How do I become a creative?
start with the greeks, read the iliad and the odyssey and try drawing the scenes