Guys please use humiliation to knock some sense into me, bring me back to reality. I'm very sensitive to shame so this might work.

>I have my anime waifu, I'm in love with her, I want to become a male version of her. (I'm not a troon and don't want to troon out) I just want to be this anime character but in real life and in a way that functions in real life. I don't want to act like I'm in some anime because that would be cringe.

Even if I don't want to be cringe, it IS cringe.
Knock some god damn sense into me, shame me, wake me up from this stupid mentality I have. Pic is me trying to summon my power at the moment.

>>1534963 (OP)
who is your waifu btw

Just love your wife in a normal way. It's okay to self insert as a 2D version of yourself - especially when you consider how fucked this dimension is - to imagine an environment where she is at home. I guess what you're doing would be kinda okay if you became a better person because of it, but it sounds like you're trying to reconcile some things that are "off" for you in a way that will hurt you.

What you should do instead is make peace with what is the real you, and that you have a deep emotional bond with an ultra cute girl that lives in another dimension. Perhaps meditate on it. It's not gonna be easy, considering you're contrasting yourself with someone who is (I'm generalizing) much prettier on the inside than we 3D people are. But you can also use that as a strength that helps you see the futility of your original endeavor.

>>1534971
I don't want to say because I love her too much, I wouldn't be able to handle it if any anon criticized or critiqued her.

>>1534972
Thank you very much for your insight. I don't think the things I'm trying to reconcile will harm me, I just think it'd be a self improvement if I managed to be more like her, because I would not lose anything in the process, I would just be less fragmented as a person. Do you have any thoughts on this?

>>1534975
You consider it "cringe", therefore I believe it causes at least some internal strife. I meant "harm" in a very broad sense. It could mean, among other things, that you would reach your desired result and be unsatisfied with yourself or what you have achieved. You might also stop loving your wife because of how similar you are to her at that point. It's not just about complex mental dysfunctions, but I consider them a possibility. You will have to explain the extent of this transformation you're planning if you want more concrete ideas (that I might not have).

If you just want to be more pious like her, take up the same religion, be a better cook or have a similar hair style, I don't see the issue. If you were with her in the country she calls home, you would obviously make some of her habits your habits. I don't believe it would help with your feeling of fragmentation directly, but it would pay off in the long run. But if you've decided to change your character in a significant way and deciding to live life JUST like her, what immediately comes to mind are dissociative identity disorder and all those failed tulpa stories. But I ain't no expert, so that worry might be for nothing. Self improvement is obviously a good idea, as long as you're improving; improvements on your own terms are easier to measure.

>>1534979
I appreciate your insight, you see things in a way that I just can't. It's important for me to hear all this.

I'd like to confirm to you that I do have dissociation problems, I go to therapy for those. To give some context, my waifu is very calm, reserved, composed, cool and the way she speaks is well thought out. She's not edgy, she's in control of herself and this is something I'd like to strive for. I see it as something I resonate with, something that is in me but I have never succeeded in achieving. It resonates with me so much that I believe I've met her FOR that very reason, to make me realize what's missing in me and help me become this more complete version of myself, more in control, more mature, more like her.

I've done changes to my lifestyle to fit what I consider to be her healthy habits. I'll interrupt my own thoughts right now and ask, would having a similar hairstyle be taking it too far? Or is it still within the reasonable side of things?

Do you think there's a possibility that my dissociation issues push me to becoming more like her in order to avoid being this 'no one' and incomplete, dysfunctional version of me that I am so unsatisfied with? I do not feel like myself, but when I look at her, I see this version of myself I wish I was. (We're talking about her brain here, I don't want to change into a girl).

To make it simple, imagine talking but hearing someone else's voice coming out of you, and you're in conflict with yourself thinking, 'wtf? This isn't my voice, I'm not me, but this person that I see in front of me, I can relate to her, her voice is more my voice than the one I have now that I don`t even recognize or relate to.'

I hope this makes sense, I know it may just be a bunch of nonsense but I'm trying my best to provide detail.

>>1534980
>Do you think there's a possibility that my dissociation issues push me to becoming more like her
Absolutely. I do realize that this debate of being with/becoming the waifu is about as old as the concept itself, but you sound like you've been set up for the latter. The latter is most often associated with not being in harmony with the world, dissociation and just generally wanting to escape without suicide to the 2D paradise. This is further complicated by one's low self esteem VS the general greatness of 2D girls.

Being at peace with oneself is hard. But I think being able to be at peace with oneself after dramatic changes to your character is a lot harder. However, this peace isn't an all or nothing affair, but a gradient. Your best bet, in my opinion, is to try to find as much of this peace as possible. This will be more (ful)filling and might slake this "thirst" of yours somewhat.

I can relate a tiny bit, because my wife is ultra positive and I want to be more positive myself. But opposites attract and I think this is another main point you should grapple with to help yourself. Your wife sounds quite like (a) Yamato Nadeshiko and thus an ideal woman. As a man, I think it's very normal to have a strong attraction to someone like that. But as such a man, you still have to be that opposite that brings balance. I might be mistaken, but I feel like becoming much like her would cheapen her and might cause your love to fade. You have to find a proper identity for this attraction; maybe imagine yourself with her as you assert yourself with things you yourself want to do.

Look at the yin-yang. Your wife is yin and you are yang. Notice those small dots of the opposite color on each side; those are your hearts. The only part that of you that your wife can fill is your heart, and vice versa. You still have a duty to be mostly white (you-colored) to be her husband.
>would having a similar hairstyle be taking it too far?
Nah, unless it's on your long checklist.

>>1534990
Wow, that was very insightful to read. If I try to become her I'm taking away from what makes her special. You are spot on about her being a Yamato Nadeshiko, that's exactly what she is.

>I might be mistaken, but I feel like becoming much like her would cheapen her and might cause your love to fade.

Man, that phrase hit so deep (in a good way). I love her so much, the last thing I'd want is to cheapen her, she's everything I cherish and I can't imagine taking a course of action that would cheapen her. I think it's important that I take inspiration from but remain the Yang to her Yin. It's more important to protect her and be her balance. In my eyes she's delicate like a flower that must not be tainted. I can go on but I know you understand me and get the point.

Talking to you so openly about this feels so great because you understand what I'm talking about. By inspiring myself from her and becoming more (but not too much) like her, I can become a more realized version of myself without cheapening her who is like my beating heart.

I have so much to think about now, so much to reflect upon and consider, maybe my version of me isn't so bad if it does bring balance to us in the end. I can be inspired by her but must never allow anything to cheapen her, especially not my own behavior, she relies on me, I bring something to her the same way she brings something precious to me.

Isnt this more of an /adv/ thing?

>>1534996
Yes, but it's too late now. I made it a /wsr/ thread because I had a request, to be shamed back into common sense, but it turns out diplomacy was used instead.