I have been for the last three years of my life stuck in the same problems. Every time I try to make an intervention is goes 90% wrong. I've been stuck as an porn addict, not disciplined and I do not see worth in myself from who I am now.

Every time I try to get better it eventually goes wrong. Spiritually and physically. I try to go for the moderate option and it doesn't work and if I try to go for the extreme option I cant stuck with it. I am not begin for mercy, I am asking for help.

I know what must be done but I wont make it. I will try somethings but It will no matter what going to fail.

Please, I am asking this in despair, but please, if you know how to get out of this cycle or you have gotten out of it, please tell me what I need to do. I am tired and I think that I am the only problem in this question. I need to change myself, the one who acts.

I am begging for the way out of this. Please help. Sorry if this is not the place for it.

>>40507296 (OP)
Hey anon most people run from God because they think God is judging you harshly and they don't want scorn. God doesn't do any of that: we do it to ourselves.
You run from God because for whatever reason, you think you don't "deserve" God.
That's stupid, stop caring. That's the solution. Stop caring and just love God.

>>40507338
then that is it anon? It's God?

>>40507414
Always has been. You said it yourself
>despair and nothingness
Both antonyms to what God is. There's only 2 choices: God or not.

>>40507433
I do want to clarify though be real with what life is: no one is perfect. We harness both God and not to create and destroy aspects of life.

>>40507433
I was more of a church goer a time ago. I was baptized one year ago. But it didn't change much for me in my life. I tried consistently going to church but I couldn't stick with it. I eventually just kind of gave up.

I really want to fill this void inside of me. Why I dont feel or am changed even when trying to do so seeking God? I wouldn't ever say this, but I feel like I can say it to you anon.

The retards posting here don't understand your problems. As if you could just snap your fingers and have faith in god. As if you could will yourself to having a mustards seed worth of faith at all. You cannot.

I have tried every method of changing my beliefs known to AI. At the end of the day none of them work worth a fucking shit because the subconscious mind is not actually retarded. Like prayer and affirmations and shit, if any of it worked life would be so fucking easy. Eventually you realize the only way to change your self beliefs is through PROOF. You have to prove shit to your subconscious mind. And God cannot be proven but you can prove to yourself that you are capable of living differently. Thats the framework I would recommend for you. Identify beliefs about yourself that you need to make changes. Then go about proving those to be true. Then record the proof on paper and routinely go over it. This is the best method I have. Its still pretty shitty but better than everything else.

Can anyone give a spiritual reason for porn addiction? What is the addict really longing for that makes them act this way? I have seen porn studio execs and porn actresses talk about doing occult rituals so its definitely a form of loosh harvesting with the whores being succubi.

>>40507460
I believe in God and as much as I don't want to say a blasphemy, I doesn't appear to have changed me.

>>40507296 (OP)
Since you're mostly going to get standard christcuck advice, let me give you some wild advice:
1. Stop judging yourself. We live in a hell universe where things are basically exactly like your picture. Some people don't experience it that way at all though, they live decent lives, they're never victimized, they have no real compulsions, people like the look of their face and everything is just smooth sailing. Then there are people like you, people susceptible to addiction. For you life is going to be non-stop struggle and suffering, more or less. With that in mind its insane to judge yourself or strive for some goal imposed on you by others (being "disciplined", being "pure", etc). You didn't ask to exist here in this flesh and blood shell filled with cravings.
2. Sublimate your desire, even if its into something that isn't really higher or more noble. For me this means only jerking off to 2D. This is obviously a matter of taste as well, but once I cultivated this mindset, which I initially did because real porn and the circumstances behind it (turning more and more women into whores, made by people who actively want to subvert stable societies, possibly occult or spiritual implications of farming loosh or whatever you want to call it, etc) were making me more and more disgusted with it.
While this may sound insane and degenerate, I found that over time this also led to me jerking off much, much less. Which for me is good enough, I'm not going to let perfect be the enemy of good. I feel much better than I ever did before, I'm not constantly thinking about sex the way I did before, and I don't even find myself getting triggered by all the various coombait that you can't help but find going anywhere on the internet now.

Maybe it is poverty

>>40507692
I am not poor

>>40507451
Because you aren't seeking God, you are hoping to check off enough boxes on the good boy list to unlock God in your life or something.
The church is horribly corrupt and godless.

>>40508014
In case that sounded meaner than I intended: what I mean is that the relationship with God is quite literally a personal relationship and it starts with you "calling out to God" or "opening your heart to God" which is essentially a knowledge (not a blind faith or hopeful desire... but a knowledge) that God is and will answer you. It's something that cannot be faked so you have to figure out how you can come to believe it. It's not really an all at once thing, but I recommend "tuning" yourself over time by telling the truth as much as humanly possible as much as possible, both to yourself and others. Embody Jim Carrey in Liar Liar.

>>40507460
>And God cannot be proven
He says, on his proof-of-God box over the proof-of-God network using his proof-of-God body.

Christcucks ruining another good thread. Goddamn

>>40508034
>Reeeeeeee
Christianity has not been mentioned even once. In fact the church is directly called out as an enemy of God.
Time for you to admit that you poorly try to hide your hatred for God (goodness) behind Christianity.
Pathetic.

Bumb

>>40507296 (OP)
you can try a heroic dose of psilocybin mushrooms
only try this as last resort though

>>40507296 (OP)
I'm sorry you feel stuck in a cycle OP; please know that it is possible to break out - to be born again - and I would say straight away this is a big piece of the problem:

>I've been stuck as an porn addict

Lust is a very powerful demon, which can only be truly conquered through Christ Jesus - I know how that sounds, and how you might feel reading that, but it is the truth! Try to appreciate the creator, more than the creation - know that beautiful women are made by God almighty, and that their beauty and femininity is given to them by Him, and so give thanks to God.

As a starting point, if you want to take control of these lustful feelings, then pray in meekness for the girls you have lusted over, pray they are able to turn from their sin and accept Christ as lord and saviour - the girls are trapped in their sin too, and need freedom.

>>40508034
It's really strange how many of them there are, like proselytizing here is a full-time job for them. Maybe it is.

I am as ignorant as the next person so I don't propose a solution seeing I am as troubled as everyone else. But in my personal experience this porn addiction thing is more or less at the core of making oneself feel depressed, angry and full of despair for life. Releasing semen is akin to releasing your soul - the semen is the soul condensed into matter, it is not a coincidence that the bones that support the sexual organs are called "Sacrum" = coming from "Holy" or "Sacred" in Latin. I see it in myself how every time I was releasing semen my mind always took a leap into a dark well and things somehow got magically worse. I remember vividly how one of the worst days of my life was when I masturbated 3 times in a day. It was like life was pure hell, dark and without hope. Porn addiction is a real disease, I would say worse than many hard drugs even - you're using the holiest act - sex, creation - to satisfy base, animal desires.

The monster of addiction tries to make you think those women on the internet are way more valuable than they are - like they are absolutely indispensable at the cost of anything else - even your happiness. But they aren't. Turns out masturbation is not even pleasant if you really look at it logically - it's just an exercise in frustration where you amp your desire and shock factor x1000 but you can never touch or truly seize the objects you're thirsting for.

Sex is also a tool to avoid, to blank your mind and forget everything else. It's a bliss of being without thought for a while, the easist way of escapism. But turns out that when you blank your mind artificially like that you bounce back incredibly hard after the operation and then problems are felt even more worse. The tradeoff will never be worth it, not now not ever.

https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/I-Am-That-by-Sri-Nisargadatta-Maharaj.pdf

>>40507296 (OP)
consume calamus root

https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=8800

no need to thank me

>>40507451
You don't need church, or any human institution. You need Jesus. Seek him out with a pure heart and he will redeem you.

>>40507471
escapism
minds wants to escape from itself and it's seeming confusions and roughness
numbing mind through masturbation or sex works (for 1 hour maybe) like >>40512483 gentleman anon says
never escape! face the confusion, stretch, get sunshine, avoid junk foods, avoid synthetic clothing, shampoos, toothpastes, all creating more confusion and excesses in the body which you try to escape from.

>>40507460
>Eventually you realize the only way to change your self beliefs is through PROOF. You have to prove shit to your subconscious mind.
Yes, and Gnosis provides exactly that proof.

>And God cannot be proven
That's where you're wrong. It can be proven to the mind's satisfaction through the Gnosis of Jesus Christ. Faith based on true knowledge is the strongest faith.

>>40512483
>https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/I-Am-That-by-Sri-Nisargadatta-Maharaj.pdf
The audio version is a miracle cure:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e6fRVQ0UcM

bump, keep this alive. I am reading all of your posts, lets help each other.

Also I will be doing this for two weeks. I am trying to give up myself to God as I see that my problems are beyond me for what they are me and I cannot solve them being me alone.

>>40507296 (OP)
Alright I'll give you a working plan to get out of your problem
1- slowly decrease porn intake, each day watch 1 video less, then go with ever increasing days between watching porn. Give yourself a cheat day every 7 days to keep your spirits up.
2- do the same for youtube and tiktok and social media, put the phone down when you do tasks like eating or going to the toilet
3- replace your time with reading
4- pray each day, start by praying at the end of the day just to tell God you are grateful. Then do morning prayers after a week, and then after a week start doing prayers before meals
5- Spend 5 minutes each day when you wake up to meditate and get your thoughts in order, and same again at night before going to sleep
6- eat better, clean your room and house, cut sugar, caffeine and alcohol from your diet

bump

>>40510192
>Lust can only be conquered through Jesus
Listen man, I'm willing to state that asking jesus earnestly can help you conquer lust, but saying it's the ONLY way is just flat out untrue.
If that were the case Hindus and Buddhist monks wouldn't practice celibacy and the proper ones do.
I have nothing against Christ, quite the opposite actually. I love him and his teachings, but people like you give him a bad name.

>>40512661
Amen.

>>40515586
>saying it's the ONLY way is just flat out untrue
True...

>>40513300
>picrel
This is some painful non-advice. The gist of it is,
>stop doing things that make you happy in the short term, start doing things you don't immediately enjoy but will bring you ultimate happiness, and you'll be happy one day bro
That's great, except this logic basically boils down to "make yourself uncomfortable, and eventually you'll love the discomfort". It doesn't address the actual issue, which is that people who are addicted to bad things lack the capacity to resist their desires to begin with. You don't tell a guy who's addicted to heroin, "hey man, I know you love to shoot up, but just go 7 days without doing it while you lift and read books, and you'll feel better soon bro". No fucking shit. Those posts are just stating the obvious without providing the baby steps necessary for achieving this level of self control.

There is only one way to get rid of your demons, and that is through God. I'm not saying this as a bible thumper, I don't think you need to be a Christian or adhere to the doctrines of any organized religion to recognize that the key to improving yourself is simply recognizing the existence of God. There is a reason that most deistic religions teach a fear of God, because in the same way that a child learns proper behavior by learning to be afraid of how their parents will react to improper behavior, we learn self-control by recognizing that the ultimate parent is watching us all the time, and that our actions have repercussions. It's a lot easier to stop shooting up, drinking, smoking, gooning and watching trashy TV shows if legitimately believe that your dad is going to be highly disappointed in you for doing these things and will punish you for it. Godlessness, and lacking the fear of God, is what results in all of these perversions.

>>40507296 (OP)
HELP yourself
awnserr to ur 0wn tread
and do wat you anwser as advicee
use your brain retard

>>40507296 (OP)
antidepressants. workout.

>>40507296 (OP)
Basically everyone is miserable most of their lives. If you can manage not to do that you are kinda winning.

>>40507296 (OP)
drink more water. probably dehydrated. Go try out Dan WInters Bliss machine, practice observe the observer meditation. Go to charismatic prayer meetings and connect with God. Spend more time with family.

Maybe try not stopping the problem behaviors but only focus on starting your new good behaviors?
>what's the difference?
Idk apparently there is one.

>>40507296 (OP)
Also like lots of little things add up to feeling good, but feeling good, as in better than neutral often requires new and unexpected stimuli, the fulfilling of dreams that seem unexpected. It's not really up to you if you get to feel like that and even if you achieve a new lifestyle while you will generally feel better it will also feel mundane over time. Take the downs with the ups and try to organize your life and body as best you can.

>>40516124
Antidepressants are dogshit. I know many friends who took them it only became worse.

>>40507296 (OP)
Better get use to it, you were left behind.

>>40515859
I am trying to start with baby steps, as >>40513347 mentioned. I think the most important thing is to try to connect myself to God, and I can do one thing right, it should be how I spend my time with him.

I did step 4 yesterday and I never realized how much in my life God has acted in my favor and has helped me in times of trouble. I have so many things to be grateful. When I started I began to realize how great my life is even with my low self control.

>>40513347
I am doing this now, babysteps.

I am thankful for everyone who is in this thread trying to help me and others. God bless you all.

bump

>>40507296 (OP)
why not direct the loop, if you can't resist it then at least turn it into a story, a picture, an art, if you're desperate then at least make it beautiful, if it's empty then draw something beautiful, if it's not beautiful then turn it into cosmic horror.

>>40515586
If OP were a monk, he would not be in the condition he is in. Jesus provides help to the sinners and strugglers that make up 99% of humanity.

>>40517927
This is true. I (op) will visit a monastery next month by recommendation of my friend.

And what do you mean only 99%? Isn't everyone?

>>40515586
Firstly you misquoted me, I said truly conquered - that is to say there are other ways that appear to conquer it - as is the case for Hindus and Buddhist Monks that you mention - but since Jesus is the only way to the Father - eventually without the Lord, you won't have truly conquered and overcome that sin; without Jesus you can't do it.

Secondly, your mad at me and that's fine - but I'm only highlighting what is taught by Christ; so how can you love Him and his teachings, and hate them when they conflict with your worldview?

>I am stuck in a cycle of despair and nothingness.
>I need to change myself, the one who acts.
Sounds like you already know how to break the cycle. And I hate to be that guy, but /adv/ is probably a better place for this kind of thing.

>>40507296 (OP)
>>40520337
Do or do not, there is not try. Quitting jerking off isn’t the first thing you have to do, but you have to do it, it’s night and day. Try to get it where you’re not even quitting, you just stop and don’t do it. Fill your time with other things, avoid places you see porn, even just staying in blue boards or whatever the ones without nudes allowed are (/x/ is one of them) is a good first step, stop using video, take a break for a week, see the results start, push it to 2 weeks, 3, 4. Don’t treat a relapse like it’s the end of the world, shower, clean ur clothes, get semen fumes out of them that demons latch on to. Once you realize how effective it is it might spur you to stop completely, but you have to attempt other things, and not getting a gf or having sex. Just get good at doing something, interacting with normies, and building something good for yourself.

Also, the nofap psyop says you go back to “day zero” when you jerk off, don’t treat it like that, treat it like that flappy bird app, you hold it in, you hold the screen, bird flys up, if you fly up for a week, then “release” for a day, you’d still be 6 days up. Don’t let yesterdays failure be a reason for today to be a failure, and don’t drive urself crazy, driving around horny trying to find any where cuz you need to cum but don’t want to jerk off, just jerk off, if you have to. Now is the time to get with it, there’s a time for neet, there’s a time for work, ride the waves right and you’ll do yourself good, start now, never stop, even when I’m buying beer for the weekend I’m planning on quitting (I have quit now) You could also ankh but that’s another story.

>>40520438
Quitting porn and getting closer to God might be it. I think I need to do one thing right and grip strongly to it, do not let the ball fall, and the other things will just get in place with time. Almost as if everything was gears turning to one side. If I change the direction of one, and really stay with the new direction, the other gears will change with time.

Thank you for the words, haven't seen it put this way.

Also, you have any tips to quitting social media? I want to replace it with reading. I downloaded the biography of muhammed ali because my friend told me that I just need to read what I think I would like, and with time my reading will get better. Also I changed my desk to a standing desk with some old things under it. I liked it, no back pain anymore.

>>40507296 (OP)
Decrease porn usage, shame yourself into stopping when you start
Decide what you believe and what higher power is going to help save you (e.g. ASI life extension, Gnosis, Nirvana etc.)
Decrease rubbish in diet, replace with meat/fish/rice/vegetables
Go outside for a little while every day
Get some healthyish distractions (e.g. sci fi books, puzzles, old video games etc.)
Either get a job or get comfortable neeting

Bumb

>>40507296 (OP)
What personality type do you score on MBTI test ?

>>40523041
ENFP-A

>>40508034
This. They waste everyone's time

>>40507338
>stop caring. That's the solution. Stop caring and just love God.
Correct.

>>40507296 (OP)
Even if you can't bring yourself to become religious yet, the first step—learning to not care—is essential.

Stop caring about trivial things.
Stop caring that you don't have things you want.
Stop caring that you are lonely.
Stop comparing your life to that of others'.

Try your best to make peace with the very real fact that if you have the essentials of life like food, shelter, clothing, access to entertainment, the internet, a decent place to live, clean water to drink, and can go about your life as you like (e.g. you're not forced into doing horrible things just to survive), because a TON of people don't have these things.

God can bring you comfort. Prayer is a powerful form of meditation. Taoism can help you separate the important from the trivial. This passage has been my personal "mantra" for years:

"The ancient Masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.

They were...
As careful as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
As alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
As courteous as a guest.
As fluid as melting ice.
As shapeable as a block of wood.
As receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water.

Do you have the patience to wait
until your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
until the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment...
Not seeking, not expecting,
He is present, and can welcome all things.”

====
This is my gift to you OP because I've been there (and yes, this post is better suited to /r9k/ or /b/ but I think it's okay to help someone who's hurting on any board).

If you memorize the above passage from the Tao and recite it in your head throughout the day—every day for one week—you will begin to feel better about yourself after a few days. It teaches you to not care so much about trivial things. Do it and you'll see. I hope you do, and I hope you find peace.