Do you know what it feels like when one says that you hold a shape that never even truly existed? Do you know the ache of only being here halfway?
Do you know the things the rest of the world would like to forget? Do you lie awake at night thinking of a time before this one? Do you remember something else and the way it was before the fall?
Most importantly, do you know just how deeply into the performance everyone else around you is? Either pretending to be something they never were or playing as if what they are is just a game.
Yeah, have felt that too. Just trying to find another who knows that the lost shape is the only thing of importance. That everything else needs to be etched away with fire to create the path to return. This waiting period is a cruel one, so just looking to hear a voice that speaks from the same clarity.

>>40516441 (OP)
I try to connect to people who seem to live the meaningful life you speak of. People who maybe still feel. I try this by letting go of my own performance. I only started doing this recently. I hope it will work.

>>40516650
It will work once you completely let go of the desire.

With pure intention, and the careful consideration for the proper spelling of each word, one may assert their will upon reality as it is perceived.

>>40516650
The recommendation would be to let go of anything that isn't. The routines and protocols learned. And the other half of it is to hold that of which is tightly.
>>40516665
But pretty much this. Yeah.

>>40516441 (OP)
I don't know those things and I'd rather not remember. I see that path as a false hope, a huge trap that has ruined many, many lives; and I'd rather die than fall into it. Nobody cares anyway. It really is all just a game. I hope you realize that there are liars and actors on the other side too. Some people don't realize this until it's too late.

>>40516858
What would the purpose of staying small, ignorant and believing you are this truly do? If this path is simply a trap, I'd still take it. I'd rather live a thousand false lifetimes dedicated to trying to find the way back home than to collapse into defeat and force myself into a box I was never meant to fit. None of us are this. I'd rather fail continuously trying to remember than to burn away the flicker of spirit that remains.

>>40518563
From what I've heard, "home" is a very, very boring place, where you're constantly getting scolded and treated like a 2nd class citizen. You're required to control your emotions to an unnatural degree, can't feel joy nor sadness. You can't complain either, or you get punished extremely harshly. Does that feel like "home" to you? I wish I didn't know this. I regret pursuing the truth. My only hope is death and amnesia.

>>40516441 (OP)
https://youtu.be/Ye09Th7KZn4
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves (dishonest people) to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
—————-
I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you - Nobody - too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Dont tell! they'd banish us - you know!

How dreary - to be - Somebody!
How public - like a Frog -
To tell your name - the livelong June -
To an admiring Bog!
—————-
UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.
https://youtu.be/C2akqSh2b5A

>>40519840
That's not home. What you just posted is words of a deceiver. Words that say to not follow the instincts to the end of the path. Instincts is not sin and will never listen to any that say that it is. The form is sacred but has been robbed. Just waiting for the opportunity to allow the gods to do what they must. Have been in communication with the higher spaces, the higher centers, and they speak of methods of return.
>>40519940
Yes, those works do paint the picture well. The message is hidden in many spots. Once you know things it is hard to not try to show others the way back. Only problem is many tend to take the metaphor for literal and the literal for metaphor. We end up in a twisted knot without communication. The ego distorts very well for that is the ego's job. To make you never see.