I really deep down feel like my soul is NOT learning anything during my time here, i really feel instead like its regressing, or disintergrating. There was a time when my soul wanted to exist. This world destroyed that part of me. I can't fathom willingly existing after experiencing this life

>>40588487 (OP)
Maybe that's what they expect from you? At the last second bite the executor's shoe or something wagmi

>>40588487 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2CogVMp5_E
Maybe you got suckered into it and you learned something after all - Samsara a bitch

>>40588487 (OP)
What if it just caused you to deny part of yourself, because being honest with how you felt about it was too much to bear?
What if doing that made it the bery burden you carry?
What if honest self-talk is the answer?

>>40588543
im always honest with myself, and i just hate existance and reality and want it to go away and leave me alone already, get off me

>>40588487 (OP)

That would be too scary for me to live. I'd get a phobia of the sea rising and sub-merging the buildings.

>>40588487 (OP)
maybe its about experiencing and learning is just a byproduct. Maybe your free will hinders you from making said experiences which in turn hinders you from learning? I doubt all those intelligent books and discussion do much for character growrth and building of a personality. Id say go out and live life but im in the same boat. I think they called it learned helplessness and the problem is its seöfullfilling because others are either a) in your shoes b) out of your league or c) so buried in works you wont meet them. i think the world is fucked on a fundamental level which goes beyond society politics or even spirituality. its like something important that connects and binds us broke and the ones who didnt and dont manage to get a partner, in whatever form it may be, feel the same as you and me. beyond micromanaging your personality with chatgpt and information via books i fear i have no solution just yet. Amybe going full left hand path, disconnect entirely from others and finding fullfillment in your self is the only way out but on the other hand this goes completely against our material nature so we are kinda trapped at crossroads. this must be some kind of limbo or a fegefeuer

>>40588674
haha yeah... this is gonna suck

>>40588741
astute post anon, i personally have just been frustrated by all the talk of how this world is for"teaching" you something, when it seems my soul hasnt learned much at all yet

>>40588487 (OP)
https://youtu.be/Xxh9Da_EJB4

>>40588487 (OP)
That's good maybe you just did it for tge experience didn't wanted to learn anything maybe you wanted the experience you are having now

>>40588763
I dont have a non dogmatic answer to you but i can share my views anyway. i think the world just is and so are you. you are not here to learn anything, its a byproduct of you experiencing and existing and espcially observing. you are not forced to attain anything and maybe even attaining anything itself can be detrimenal to the personal development of whatever may feel you accomplished or content.all belief systems want to sell you something, nothing is free and sometimes the price is you free thinking, a special feeling or your very own will.

it's not about learning, it's about a suffering feedback loop which the Demiurge is desparately trying to keep from flooding in like a wave of remembrance of all the pain we caused ourself.

IT ends soon.

>>40589258
you guys think torturing yourself to death is not going to loop back into your memory once you wake up?

It ends soon and every mask will get closure in the next, better world. Which is focused on PLAY and fully opt in / opt out.

>>40589266
>Which is focused on PLAY and fully opt in / opt out.
how am i suppose to want to play or opt in anymore after this life

>>40589639
it'll be a better creation.
like an RP server rather than a torture chamber.
no cancer. no death. no rape. no alzeihmers. no fragile organs which break down. no old age. But still swashbuckling renegades and knights and dragons.

But you'd still be able to opt out, even then.

Suffering for 100 years prepares you to enjoy 10000000 years of paradise

>>40589699
will i ged a kissu on dee 4hed and huggles and told itll b ok bb

Evolution is just the process of organisms adapting and changing over time to fit with the environment, it was never something inherently progressive and humans are not a necessary or inherent component of the universe, we do not know if we are just temporarily able to live before some change happens so that the environment no longer supports life similar to ours. In a way your soul might be becoming less interesting or less available to you in order to adapt to a boring environment so that you may continue to exist here.

>>40589827
The alternative to suicide is to break or completely disregard the things and rules you have learned in life, but this comes with zero guarantee or knowledge that it will actually make an 'impact', but keep in mind the idea of long term success or impact is something taught to you by the world and is a very easily malleable definition.
So far I have just been moving my memory/consciousness between past moments where I did like existence, and staying there while I live the outside life as lazily and as against the flow of the learned 'rules' of the universe as possible. Yesterday I had intense neuralgia from spending too long in the pool; today I'll go again anyway because I know I will always prefer the water over what (the god of) human history has given me through health advice.

>>40589764
That’s right.

What, do people need cancer in order to be super serious and grown up?

God is love and play. Don’t be mistaken.

The “grown ups” are like babies putting on goth clothes and acting edgy.

Give it a rest.

>>40588487 (OP)
Nothing is ever truly destroyed that can't be rebuilt and fixed, and that is especially true for your life and your precious conscious experience. As long as you keep pushing forward, anon, and continue to believe in yourself and in victory, you will overcome your trial and tribulation, and become happier and stronger for it. Good luck, godspeed, and please take care anon. Thank you

Its not just you. We have terrible guides and teachers right now that are scrambling to relearn everything. Its a mess.

>>40588487 (OP)
You die a bit and rebuild off of that for survival. We all live and die in a crazy and fucked up world lol maybe your soul is learning to live in the Right Now which doesn't require any learning, just simply observing.
I've learned this about myself to pinch salt of conversations and let it take off in its own. After you let yourself known to others and you can blend in, you can be with yourself in the moment and see the energies exchanging from one to another and see the unquantifiable love that exists but also see at the same time, brutal and real and disturbing disgusting things. There is no why to the things you see because will all things, they just unfold with time. Your soul doesn't need to learn, it wants to live.

>>40588487 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/@HillsideHermitage

>>40588487 (OP)
This place is meditative for when your time comes

>>40588487 (OP)
You should learn to protect your soul.