Why did I specifically get consciousness like why is this body born at this time in this country to these parents the container for "me" and why not a mongolian peasant in the 1300s or a chinese factory worker in 3478?

Your consciousness is a chain reaction within a specific piece of the universe.

Why not?
Is there something about who you are that you feel you should be something else instead?
If you were a mongolian peasant in the 1300s or a chinese factory worker in 3478 you probably would be asking the same question.

>>40626489 (OP)
Just a simple matter of chance.
The probabilities of you existing are slim to none. So just enjoy this ONE chance you have. It's all you'll ever get.

>>40626489 (OP)
Becauze with current tech and stuff even someone that feels like a nobody can do some good change or do some bad change

Like every1 born in the last 50 years has been drafted into an infowar human v human v ai type shit

Goodluck out there
o7
Dont shoot the refugees

Ive had suicidal ideations since like 11 or 12 its rough man but i think that at some point you gotta realize an individual cant sholder all the blame and the environment is kinda fucked and at odds ya knoe? You still gotta own up but yeah anyways w.e wat do i know anyways

>>40626521
I don't know man i may be retarded or something but just the idea of consciousness seems weird to me. As i'm typing this i'm only experiencing reality from my point of view, singular, not dual, triple or more "me"s just one. And when i go to sleep then there is no consciousness anywhere since from my POV i am consciousness then what even is there when i'm sleeping? I don't know if that makes any sense or makes me seems like a narcissist or something it' just always been odd to me. Like this guy here is aware, why

>>40626489 (OP)
Because you never got it, you always were you.
Since childhood you were always taught everything that has a beginning, has an end, so you imagine non-existence happens after existence, so you could have been anybody else, in the short existence that you had.
So it's difficult to grasp an eternity where you were always you, one where you decided to be who you are instead of the peasant or the worked.
It's the same reason you are human and not a tree or one of the millions of variety of insects that exist.
Who you are was never random.

>>40626524
That's one thing i think about sometimes, i don't believe it's likely that the consciousness that i experience right now can really just be a blip in nothingness, being born into a random time when there are infinite possibilities, here, existing for some 70-80 years and then it just reverting back to nothingness. I thought about reincarnation or "me" in essence being every person to ever exist or that could exist but then again why am i experiencing consciousness now out of all the past and future version of myself.

>>40626634
You aren't here to make decisions
You're here to figure out why you made them.

>>40626595
There is nothing retarded about your question however it sounds like to me you are not asking about your current state of being but why consciousness exist itself which goes back to my original point, why not.
Alot of people believe that nothing is the default state and in order to be something it requires outside interference, I disagree with this. Even according to our own understanding of things energy cannot be create nor destroyed , only transformed. If we consider consciousness as a type of energy then this remains true as well.
I hope you understand what i trying to say , I like to talk while keeping my own personal bias out of it as much as i can so i couldnt say much.

>>40626489 (OP)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertiginous_question
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugAx8seqlL0

>>40626489 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ709yH9NqY
https://vitrifyher.wordpress.com/2019/03/23/the-cruelty-of-limitations/

>Throughout this entire trajectory the main problem with existence for me has been coping with the abstract “could-have-been” with the “why am I this, out of all possible things?” This question seems so central to my being that sometimes I entertain the notion that perhaps I’m not a truth-seeker at all, and was merely attempting to self-medicate when I downloaded solipsism and then open individualism. These intuitively seem like the most rational or perhaps palliative answers to the otherwise arbitrary, inexplicably random circumstance of being me – this boring, limited creature that will never get to experience the naked totality of light which only barely glints behind smoky dreams.

>>40626489 (OP)
Why does one specific ball end up at any given final position?

>>40626489 (OP)
The soul is given corporeal circumstances that best correspond to its essential nature and stage of development.

>>40626489 (OP)
Every person's individual subjective consciousness is an object composed of some universal component that we don't know. Just like any other object or substance it cannot be created or destroyed, it just is.

Therefore the logical explanation is that in the times where you "don't exist" your subjective experience is just broken apart until by sheer chance it gets reassembled again some infinite years later (you wouldn't be aware of this so from your pov this would feel instant). This is the only logical and rational explanation for what happens after (and before) death. Eternal oblivion, heaven, hell, etc are just copes

The universe works in mysterious ways. There is a rationality to it if you work to uncover it.