Is it possible that you should have died at a previous point but didn’t? That it was natural for your life to end at a certain point but something unnatural that should not have been happened and you lived beyond it in a distorted existence? I have no illnesses but for some reason I feel like I am meant to die.

Thinking about death and coming to terms with it is normal. For every left there is a right for every day there is a night. To accept life you have to accept death even if uncertain. Perhaps something has kept you alive for this long. To die with internal worth and that you’ve kept your values in the end is to die with peace and happiness to a future uncertain in the womb of suffering we’re living in.

>>40681308 (OP)
It's possible that you're noticing a low point from a previous time. Imagine if, instead of your life being walking in a straight line it really overlapped. Like walking down a dark hallway that dips in certain places. When you get to the end you turn around and go back. Your mind remembers the dip and tries to anticipate it but since you're coming from the other side you cant calculate them that quick. They surprise you. You get to the end and turn around and this time you are going the right way to expect them. As you near it you get nervous. The dips are a previously difficult time. Low points. You've been here before though. Don't let the anticipation of repeated mistakes overpower you. You weren't meant to fall for the same things over and over but more importantly, you also weren't meant to freeze or just give up.

>>40681332
Are we talking about dips within previous points of the life currently , if that’s the case I’m completely onboard with this and agree, just because past has happened doesn’t have to reflect on the present moment as you’ve learned from past actions.

>>40681341
Yes. You can feel like "this is the part where I always screw up" because you can just feel it for some reason. You can get too caught up in it and overdo it though, like not spilling a tray until you start watching it.

I think I was supposed to die long ago, yes. Someone or something decided to save me and help me for some reason. I don't know why... But I am grateful for everything. Whatever or whoever they are. They can do anything they want with me.

https://youtu.be/MvDWlTa-wCU?si=4M6sn1XluZys5Feg