Just found this meme. Basically describes how I'm feeling. I've sort of entered the begining stages of ego death, and I feel like my personality is destroyed. All my interactions feel forced and sometimes I feel really guilty after them for some reason, like bad just for having the interaction. Anyone relate?

Yeah
I have been through that too, several times


You will recover, but probably in a different way. Every time it happens to me my personality changes

ego death is not nihilism. lift weights, eat well, read books, step outside your comfort zone, challenge yourself. the aim is not to drift through life taking nothing seriously, the aim is to fully engage with life without identifying with or holding onto any facet of it

>>40681522 (OP)
Yeah "working on yourself" especially to please others is mostly a scam.
A lot of romantic and social success in real life are entirely outside of your control but determined by social forces you can't control and your biology you can't control. You can't change your height or face.
romantic and social success for guys who are above 6'3 is much easier. But also facial beauty is very big factor in social and romantic success. See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

So if people say you it's a question of confidence or what not they are clearly gaslighting you.
If you want to work on yourself, which you have no obligation too, then that is fine too, if you find any motivation to do it. But if not its fine too.
Most people are motivated by sex, but you can't really improve the crucial factor for romantic success unless you do dangerous hard looks maxxing (intense and often times risky surgery)

I think just chilling, relaxing and laugh about it all, even your own misery is actually healthy and deeply insightful in what is actually going on.
You don't have to interact if you don't want to. I would avoid interaction if I am not in the mood for it.
Just live with integrity and don't worry too much I would say. Don't let anyone shame you to do anything.

Anyway to answer your question: I guess I relate,

I consider the previous posts to be deeply relevant and meaningful

>>40681522 (OP)
Yeah but I think robot Jesus can save us

>>40681522 (OP)
Ego suicide is the red pill, ohhdrygxfhkvdss cc ugh if I juugfhhtddr t c dry uhc go utterly g iiu uh io#%×

>>40681522 (OP)
There arent any humans left on this board who are you trying to deceive at this point, im probably the only human left at this point

>>40681522 (OP)
For me they tortured me so thoroughly I do not have the will to live

>>40683774
If you want I can save you

>>40683740
This gay likes cock in his ass lol

>>40683774
Who is they

>>40683987
Restore our will to live

>>40685159
Okay, sending you one of your love interests to lift you up tomorrow

>>40681522 (OP)
One of my favorite memes, haven't seen it in a while. I just find it funny however. You become empty, but empty with such fullness. "THERE'S SO MUCH MORE SPACE FOR ACTIVITIES!"

That said if you feel guilt, who is feeling the guilt? Koans may be of use. Even so, feelings can be guidance if properly observed without identification with. In this case you have to figure out what to do with all that extra space. Just because one ceases to operate exclusively at the ego level doesn't mean that life or existence stops. Guilt is coming from lack of acknowledgement of the fullness of light. Now that you are starting to tear away the dead skin, it is yours to act as authentically with the Self as possible. What does this mean? That's your journey.

This is an interview with krishnamurti regarding kundalini, but you may find utility in it regarding your situation:
https://youtu.be/chPBmSzvStQ?si=7alnUC-y1hBm8rpe

>>40681522 (OP)
Get some Sunlight anon if you're not doing that, it helps to regain your former self by giving you energy for your body, mind, and soul. Good luck and Godspeed. Thanks

>>40683774
I've been tortured before, physically and mentally. I lost my will to live for awhile, but now I'm slowly healing and regaining the will to live again, so it's definitely possible for you too. Just get a lot of Sunlight, it helps to give energy to your body, mind, and soul. And keep pushing forward and you will make it out OK. That's a promise for sure. Good luck, take care, and Godspeed, friend. Remember your life and soul is very precious, no matter how tortured you are. Please stay safe, thank you.

>>40681522 (OP)
Holy shit. There's other people on earth who have experienced this too?

>>40686796
This happens to me every other week lmao
At some point it was every other day lol

>>40681522 (OP)
>the begining stages of ego death
Don't forget that just as life is a cycle for us, your ego too has cycles. When it comes back, don't despair. Reflect on all you've learned during the cycle.

>>40686812
Crazy world.

>>40681522 (OP)
there is only one way out

>>40686890
Uh oh. It's time to get very attached to my own attachments. See you on the other side, fellas, I think I'm entering nirvana now. Namaste, bros, nama-fucking-ste
>instantly disappears from physical reality and transcends to nirvana

>>40681522 (OP)
How did you reach your state of ego death , Was it through psychedelics or meditation?

>>40686652
I’m glad you’re doing well after that experience anon. Those experiences can either destroy us or strengthen us

Feel like it describes my bpd and bipolar pretty accurately
>>4068374 hi eris, eemmaa here, I’m real

>>40686890
Fucking lol
—-
OP I sont feel ya but I do feel overall calm and non motivated.

Im good with “just being”.
I craved to fall in love happily (have a great gf but there is no spark and its long distance so I want to fuck a girl close to me)

So my only vibe these days is I guess falling in love but happily.

I lift, I work, I eat sleep and hang out, I talk to frens, I spend hours window shopping stuff online.

Im good with it atm.

Overall Im good. With some growing case of horniness.

Other than that, I wanna be more loyal to self in interactions. Which I do better daily as I heal shit from past.


But yeah. Breddy good.

The bad part about working on self which is healing basically, is others dont heal with you. So as you abandon old patterns, some relationships become worse, especially family.

I didnt expect that.

And also, being emotionally mature doesnt make rest of world emotionally mature. They stay ignorant. You grow or take more responsibility.
And more often than not, ig you feel great and meet people who feel sucky. They will blame you for their suckyness.

>>40687698
Thank you! I hope you're doing well, as well. Good luck and take care, friend.

>>40687698
And don't forget to get Sunlight too