>tall (6'2)
>young (22)
>have a good amount of money for my age
>don't live with my parents anymore
>look like at least like a 7 (pic attached) (i know its a dumb pic)
>work with literally zero women
>work from home
>moved away from friends
>i don't want to go to a bar or club ALONE
>any girls in sports clubs are usually flirting with other men or have a bf

>i see pretty girls at my gym and near an apartment pool (where i live)
>some even exchange glances and seem somewhat interested (i think) and not super avoidant
>literally all i have to do is go up to them and somehow spark a conversation with a random stranger

HOW? I feel like a gigantic pussy. How do I get out of my mental prison of an insecure, anxious brain, and talk to women? I almost never drink alcohol, but I'm seriously considering just buying some beer and getting a little bit tipsy before trying to talk to any woman. Even if they reject me, I'll at least be happy that I tried it once in my life. Advice on how to cold approach? I got the lookism out of the way, now I need to do the hard work of actually socializing. No matter your looks, women still won't talk to you unless you approach first.

>>33198923 (OP)
>(i know its a dumb pic)
then why are you posting it?

>>33198994
Its one of the few pics I have of myself. I'm not photogenic at all, and almost anytime someone takes a photo for me I have an awkward smile or blink or something. I have a few other good pics but I'm afraid someone can find me out looking at certain details from the photos.

>>33198923 (OP)
>No matter your looks, women still won't talk to you unless you approach first.
Sometimes they do, but things don't go far either way if you are a pussy.
You finally realized that incel lookism is oversimplified, or at least that unless you're a GigaChad, looks won't be enough to get you women, but "personality" was actually what mattered the most all along.
>How do I get out of my mental prison of an insecure, anxious brain, and talk to women?
Only thing that worked for me was constant practice and exposure. See it like a game and remember that there's nothing to lose if you fail, but a lot to gain (sex) if you succeed.

>>33198923 (OP)
>(i know its a dumb pic)
how is it dumb lol

i know your thread is titled “how do i get out of my head” but you really need to chill the fuck out man

>>33198923 (OP)
15 years ago looking like that you could just text any girl online, talk about vidya/movies/music and then meet to fuck. Zoomers really are fucked with the normalfaggot invasion of the internet and have to put effort into talking irl again. Idk man, you can do all the PUA shit, but I'd just try to be yourself and only talk to them about stuff you care, you don't need to pretend. There's so much material for cold approach out there. It only matters to do it until you feel comfortable. If you feel too stiff then do talk just to other random people, those you don't want to fuck, as an exercise. Working from home is not helpful, I made most progress with talking to women at work when I was forced to talk to a lot of people. You don't need to think about what to say, it's always situational small talk. Just don't start at the gym where you always go back, it's too much pressure and it's weird to see someone again who rejected you.

>>33199006
you need to learn your angles lil bro. watch some taking selfies tutorials and shit. For the neuroticism I would recommend some social hobby and use as practice. Learning a foreign language, boxing, those inside climbing things.

>>33198923 (OP)
Pretty handsome, you should just chill out and not place so much importance on other girls and just from there.

>>33199056
>personality
I don't know about that. More confidence it feels like. I guess confidence needs to be part of personality.
>>33199256
I know my angles, I usually get pictures taken of me by other people and it's usually those pictures that get messed up.
>>33199643
>you should just chill out and not place so much importance on other girls
I've been told this advice since I was a teen. I can't just "roll with it" or "you'll find the right one eventually". No, i don't want to start approaching women when I'm ugly and balding. I already looked way better at 19, then I do now.

>he fell for the just be tall and white bro it’s enough
Hahahahaha

>>33198923 (OP)
I wish I had a bf who looked like u…

>>33199006
I’m a girl. you look handsome in OP

>>33200472
>>33200451
Ywnbaw

>>33198923 (OP)
>No matter your looks, women still won't talk to you unless you approach first.
I will never approach men, let alone handsome men bc I don’t wanna be rejected. Being rejected by men hurts

>>33200487
>>33200477

>>33198923 (OP)
Wow, you're handsome. Dark hair, pale eyes is my favorite combo.
You should get some male friends. Well-adjusted males like to have handsome male friends around in their friend group because it gives them social proof and passively attracts more females into their social orbit.
You should get into some kind of scene, ideally an entreprenerial one, but hobbies could work, make male friends, make business connections and females will naturally fall into place.

>>33200489
I’m a real woman

>>33200451
>>33200472
Thank you for the compliments. I used to have awful square glasses growing up, and thankfully I glew up and got contacts. Sadly, I only fixed looks during the beginning of covid when i was junior. I probably could have experienced high school love if I fixed looks earlier.
>>33200494
The last real friends I had were in high school. Everyone around me at work, college, everything were all older people. Anyway, I should focus on getting new friends. 20s and beyond is the time where it feels like real friends are gone, and that time was mostly in high school/college.

>>33200731
I will still try to get friends; just saying I don't know if I will find the same sort of real friends I had before... maybe I'll find some acquaintances in a sports club or something. I think most women wouldn't really care for friends, as long as I just say "yeah most of my friends are far away" etc.

>>33198923 (OP)
The only option is to femboymaxx

>>33200472
Fuck off, OP

>>33198923 (OP)
You look cute I would date and approach if I saw you in public

>>33198923 (OP)
>I feel like a gigantic pussy
Nah you are

But I also think there's a deeper layer to this. Either you don't realize you're regularly being 'mired by beautiful women (because lets be real here, you basically won the "free pussy for life" lottery with your genetics), or you're not mentioning that you're an extremely unapproachable weirdo.

I'm 5' 7" with a receding hairline and a beer gut, and I am regularly approached by women. It's not hard to talk to women, dude.

My best advice is be interested in shit. Specifically seek out women who like the things you like. The bar's a good place for short term experiences. A fun night with someone new. Maybe its a conversation, maybe its sex. But the likelihood its someone you actually really like is extremely low. So I guess just ask yourself if you want attention or affection. If it's affection, refer to previous advice. If it's attention, stop being such a lil' bitch and go say hi to the cute girl sitting alone doing nothing, ya puss. But we can't give you good advice on what to say, because that's not a substitute for a personality.

>>33201508
How old are you? Reason I'm asking is because I'm a bit older than OP (25) and never once have I seen a woman under 30 alone in a bar. And I've only seen a woman under 30 approach once, when she was visibly drunk. This advice feels like a millennial talking about what worked in 2014 without realizing that zoomers are so neurotic we pretty much all ignore each other in public.

>>33201825
NTA he's definitely not from a western or european country. the only girls who'll approach a non chad are the ones in puberty. I got approached 4 times in HS even though I was 4/10 compared to my peers

>>33198923 (OP)
You have to become more powerful over the problem.
You want to manage what your brain is doing rather than be a powerless pawn in whatever game brain is playing, right?
So when unhelpful thoughts are happening, notice them, observe them, don't interact with them. Then say "these thoughts are not real- they are just thoughts."
When you catch your brain thinking dumb thoughts, tell it what you want it to think- you are the boss of your brain and body afterall.

>>33201897
>the only girls who'll approach a non chad are the ones in puberty
True. I got approached in high school a few times too despite being an incel. The last time I got approached was in college, but it was a lone exception, she also asked me out. None of them ever led to anything, not even a kiss, because even the girls who approach first expect you to do all the moves sexually, something I wasn't able to do at the time. I guess that at some point girls realize that it's a waste of time to approach men, because if things were going to work out, these men would have already hit on them themselves first.

>>33201508
>you're not mentioning that you're an extremely unapproachable weirdo
I don't think I'm too weird, or atleast I hide it real well I think.

I remember growing up wearing ugly glasses, and I think that's definitely part of it. I sometimes wear glasses in public, and it's a night and day difference. Without glasses, I think I look good. I feel better, women exchange looks, some guys exchange looks, some men look pissed, etc. With glasses, every attractive girl would give me a death glare for a few seconds sometimes, just a genuine look of "don't fucking talk to me, creep" sometimes rolling their eyes if I look at their direction. The contrast is shocking, and I'm sure part of that is what causes so much anxiety. A reminder the few moments of positive attention I might get, can easily go away once I stop wearing eye contacts, and then it's back to being ignored, or worse despised.

>Specifically seek out women who like the things you like.
I want to someday make a relationship feature length indie film. I don't care if it's my only film I just want to make it. I have a script almost finished, I have a good Sony A7C camera, equipment, etc. I know there's some women who are probably interested in film as much as I am, but it is mostly a nerdy thing to be interested irl. Like most women probably reserve their love for that kind of subject only online and wouldn't show an interest in that. I'm not sure where I'd go. I was thinking maybe going to an acting class, and meeting like minded people there...

Anyway it sucks that it feels like more work, just to talk to people around my age ... Wish covid didn't happen. I probably wouldn't be here if my state didn't get locked down.

>>33201508
>The bar's a good place for short term experiences.
Like >>33201897 >>33201825 said, the few times I went to bars it was all people 30-40s there. Mostly all men too.
There were these two sisters one time in a comedy show I went to, but there was no real way to talk since everyone is just there for a show.

>>33203141
*Real feature
Not relationship feature
Phone posting

Someone outside of chan, has informed me that I should look into buying amphetamines to get out of my mental prison, and that it'll just make me not be so insecure and more confident around women.

I'll look into it. Would probably be better than just maybe drinking alcohol to.lower inhibitions.

>>33203144
I was in a bar a few weeks ago and approached a woman. It seemed to be going even well, even though I was drunk, until she rejected me.

>>33203323
>stays home and jacks off instead
just drink desu

>>33201508
>I'm 5' 7" with a receding hairline and a beer gut

All you mofos say shit like this but never mention its girls in sales and customer service who have to approach you kek

>>33203440
Aw
>>33203323
Try alchol but only do 2 drinks

>>33200823
this

>>33198923 (OP)
cute

>>33198923 (OP)
Everyone who commented here: I have good news. I chatted up with a cute girl at a pool near where I live. It was awkward a little, but she was much more forgiving and nicer than I thought. She told me she had a bf after I asked for her number, but honestly I'm just happy I gain the balls to talk to a stranger, have the convo go from awkward to a little more relaxed and that everything went fine. I had to drink a can of beer and it definitely helped me get out of my autistic anxious shell. Thank you all.

I'm gonna try doing this nerve wracking thing at least once or twice a week this summer.

>>33198923 (OP)
fuck the alcohol
join a class for something that way you'll be forced to interact

stop thinking about what they'll think of what you say and how they'll react and just focus on them - listen and be curious about what they're saying and what they're gonna say next

>>33209983
>I'm gonna try doing this nerve wracking thing at least once or twice a week this summer.
Good, how did you handle the bf thing? I find it best to be slightly optimistic but never get my hopes up and if they reject you it was never meant to be so who cares what that person thinks.

>>33210638
>Good, how did you handle the bf thing?

I think I handled it well. I just said "No worries," and we both smiled out of politeness. I left the pool area right afterwards.

>I find it best to be slightly optimistic but never get my hopes up and if they reject you

Yep, this one rejection is fine. Also I'm trying to do "rejection therapy", where at last a few times a week you try to talk to strangers, men and women, and you give them a platonic compliment and such, and see how people respond and be ready to get people to SOMETIMES brush you off and such. The girl I approached and such, wasn't like someone I actually fell for or anything, it's just practice for getting better at cold approaching.

>>33210063
>join a class for something that way you'll be forced to interact

I'm thinking of joining an acting class. A place where you're forced to interact, and where a lot of girls are interested. Everyone I join a sports club, all the women would chat some guy they already knew and it felt like there really wasn't much to do if I wasn't good at the sport.

I also wanna learn acting, as I want to make an indie film someday. I'm not pursuing acting as a real career or anything, but it's definitely something I'm fascinated by and something that probably also helps social life a lot.

>>33209983
lighting and lense distortion really fucked you up on this pic. you went from 7/10 to 6/10 even tho you lost pimples

>>33210849
no reason not to do it then