Before you bitch, I understand that yes, people have it way worse than I do, and yes, I know that this is a problem everybody goes through. Not expecting anything to come out of this other than "wah wah quit blogposting", call me whiny or whatever the fuck. It's been proven time and time again that no matter how I act, the results are the exact same with people. When I act like my regular self, my "tone is wrong" or i'm "mean" or "judgemental" or "an asshole" etc etc. When I act nicer to people, I just get taken advantage of/shit on constantly. And no, this isn't just something that happened with one or two people, it's a reoccurring pattern. Only thing I can think of is that i've been rejected by my friends and family for most of my life since I was a little kid, so maybe it makes me care less, all I know is that it's easier to not give a shit when the result is the same and you know you can't do anything to "help" other people. Believe me, i've tried, it's a thousand times more practical to not pretend to care about people that are perfectly fine with seeing you get hurt.

>>33199702 (OP)
>no matter how I act, the results are the exact same with people. When I act like my regular self, my "tone is wrong" or i'm "mean" or "judgemental" or "an asshole" etc etc. When I act nicer to people, I just get taken advantage of/shit on constantly.
those are two different results though

>>33199702 (OP)
what advice do you want

surround yourself with people who are nice to you

>>33199702 (OP)
Not trying to be insulting but you sound self-centered and that you lack self-awareness. You frame the entire situation in a vague way that centers around you and your feelings. Other people's words and actions don't revolve around you and your feelings. If they behave in a certain way, it might be because they are having a bad day, maybe you are being insensitive towards them, maybe they are just an asshole that nobody likes and you shouldn't take their behavior personally. Also, you sound like the type who has a passive-aggressive streak, i.e. you resent other people and act like it, but then when called out you deny it.
But a lot of folks here on adv they do act like autistic dark clouds, and people get instantly turned off by that. Being nice doesn't necessarily have to do with being taken advantage. "Nice" is a multidimensional quality. By default treating other people pleasantly and politely, and also with confidence and backbone is beneficial not just for the other person, but for your own inner being and psychological health.
Basically it comes down to "get therapy", or you have to do an extended period of back and forth reflection so you can reframe your experiences, condition yourself into more productive thinking patterns. "Waah everyone rejects me", it might be valid on some level but you have to move beyond that, mature into a more wholistic viewpoint.

>>33200074
>you sound self-centered
I basically have no choice. I've been told time and time again that I should "focus on myself" and have had zero results with people that I was in a relationship with/friends that i've tried to help with their issues. I've accepted that people do not change a long time ago, not even remotely attempting that shit again, I cannot be the person to ever cause people to be better.
>you lack self-awareness
I look into myself whenever I can when this kind of thing happens. I've made mistakes and I lash out, i've always had anger issues and I probably have some weird abandonment shit going on, I don't know how to work around it other than just pretending that other people aren't going to do the same exact shit inevitably.
>Other people's words and actions don't revolve around you and your feelings
I know this, most bad interactions with strangers I don't take personally, with people I know, I do.
>maybe you are being insensitive towards them
Not out of the realm of possibility, this is a flaw that I more than likely have
>you sound like the type who has a passive-aggressive streak
If I have to pretend to be nice, sure, but otherwise I'm pretty blunt. If I don't like people I ignore them, if it's a big issue with someone I know I tell them what I don't like to their face.
>Basically it comes down to "get therapy"
Therapy is a meme. Tried it, does not work.
>move beyond that, mature into a more wholistic viewpoint.
I'm beginning to accept that I need to do what I need to in order to help those I care about (nobody) and myself, hence "you sound self-centered", like is it my fucking choice anymore? We both know that if I was stuck in the same pattern of trying to guide people you'd be saying "focus on YOURSELF bro!", like said, no matter what I fucking do, it's all the same.

>>33199702 (OP)
you go from one extreme to the other
you can talk without a "wrong tone" act "less judgemental" and be less "mean" without being a pushover
I'm very gentle and very caring of people I love but ask me if they've ever taken advantage of me, if they ask something from me and I can't or I consider it to be too much I just plainly say no, and they understand. Also the circumstances. Babysit my nieces and nephews because my sister had an emergency call at the hospital? ok I can be there, I wasn't doing anything. Babysit them because they want to go out and party and x group is coming to town only for today, sorry sis, you gotta find someone else.

>>33199702 (OP)
>It's been proven time and time again that no matter how I act, the results are the exact same with people.
That suggests that you are consistently choosing the wrong people to associate with. So, ask yourself how you choose the people you associate with, and whether that might unintentionally be selecting undesirables.

>>33200293
I've been choosing people online and the women my age that I date. I'm a 19 year old so the bar is pretty low as far as girls in my age range, a lot of them seem very weirdly emotionally stunted. As for online, I know there's no benefit to it and i've been on the border of quitting for a while, I basically don't own any social media and don't want to do anything relating to it anymore, the desires have mostly subsided. Only other thing is me getting fucked over at my old job because I lived in a rural town full of retarded trailer trash. Say what you will, you have to understand that some people you inherently cannot risk it with.

>>33200170
>therapy is a meme
Idiot you were supposed to do psychoanalysis, which is a meme only if you are a moron. Highly would recommend it for the type of problems you are recounting.

my advice to you is to use line breaks

>>33200332
>inb4 "reddit spacing"
no thanks
>>33200320
>Highly would recommend it for the type of problems you are recounting
even then it's not that easy to just switch between therapists at a whim if you want to make the argument that "oh it's just not the right therapist". Being a therapist is a fucking hack profession, you'd have better luck with a psychologist, trust me when I say i've been in a room full of "mental health professionals" as a part of some group therapy thing and it's just a bunch of nigger women that have literally zero passion or depth behind what they're talking about, it's a paycheck. Everybody that works in that field that isn't doing it for the cash is a fucking nutjob.

>>33200361
>being this mindbroken over some schizo's forced meme

>>33200302
>I've been choosing people online
Well, maybe don't do that.

>>33199702 (OP)
OP, your post itself gives a strong clue to your problem. You spend fully half of it saying "You're not going to be interested and you'll probably flame me so I don't know why I'm bothering to talk to you, but here goes...."

If that's the way you talk to people, it's no wonder they think you're judgmental

>>33199702 (OP)
It could be a problem with maintaining boundaries and assertiveness. Some people cope with poor boundary control by preemptively using defensiveness, and some people may misinterpret it as an aggressive communication style. It also sounds like you've been surrounded by abusive people your whole life, which would justify carrying a wary outlook on others and holding up defenses even when beyond necessary out of habit. Ideally, a communicator would have a variety of communication styles available to them and use them as the situation calls for it to accomplish goals without relying on more or less aggressiveness/passiveness than necessary. I recommenced looking into one of the many assertiveness worksheets and articles online and reading up about communication styles. It would also help to have a safe environment to practice this in.