t. 20F university student. Total "late bloomer"

Anons ive been wanting to plan a trip out west for my 21st birthday because all of my prior birthdays have been really disappointing, like imagine spending your 16th and 18th birthdays with your divorced father, god. I was hoping that transferring into university would help me get some friends or a boyfie and it seems to be helping a bit but i still dont have any yet so im going to amtrak out west before the next semester.

Well my mom just found out that i intend to drink and try pot on this trip, i guess she genuinely thought that i hated alcohol so much that i had no intentions of drinking.

She seems incredibly afraid that i am going to get like raped or drugged if i drink alcohol at a bar or club or whatever or that i might get run over or something idfk. She wants me to try alcohol at home so that i can understand my limits.

but the thing is ive been avoiding drinking alcohol for years, ive had offers but i always declined because the offers didnt feel important enough to be the first time i try something. Im not against underaged drinking its just that i dont want to waste that moment on something unimportant. So i dont know if i really want to just try now when its not actually my 21st. Like you get it?

can someone please tell me if i really should wait until my actual 21st or just try it now? I feel like im going to regret it if i try now instead of waiting but i guess i understand where my mom is coming from.

>>33203939 (OP)
1st trying alcohol is not that important you shouldn't be "saving it"
2nd you're better off trying it somewhere where you feel safe and have complete control of how much you take and have people that care about you to advice you
3rd you'll enjoy your 21st drinking party better if you already know a thing or two about your own limits and how much you can drink to feel tipsy, to feel relaxed, to feel wasted etc, as opposed to be scared of going overboard that day.

>my first drink is really important
lol, no
get a mid bottle of wine and drink it with her
being in public in a strange place, the first time you get drunk, is a bad idea

>>33203972
>you'll enjoy your 21st drinking party
im not really going to have a party for this unless some sorority girl offers to host out of boredom. i dont have anyone to celebrate with really. I just plan on drinking with my mom on my 21st, taking the amtrak to cali and doing a bar crawl or two alone.

>as opposed to be scared of going overboard that day.
i dont understand this fear. its not like im going to overdose the worst is i just puke my guts out no?

>>33204021
Alone in public, I would say your biggest risk is falling asleep. I don't know how much you can take or how drunk you want to get, but your little trip sounds very dangerous to me. Come to Czechia, our culture is all about alcohol, I'll show you around and keep you safe.

>>33204021
>doing a bar crawl or two alone.
Yeah don't do that. You're a non-drinker. That means you most likely don't know how to tell the shit hole rape city bars from the actual good ones. You go bar crawling alone as a woman, you'll end up regretting it.

Femanon, it's just alcohol. It's not a big defining thing. If you're looking to feel like a grown adult, pick something more meaningful than drugs or alcohol, that stuff is teenage tier. It's okay to drink in moderation, but don't make it an identity thing lol

If you want friends and a boyfriend don't go looking in bars for them. It's a horrible, horrible idea. I give the same advice to shut in autist males looking for girls, it's a bad idea for men to find them in bars too.

>>33204021
Girls really do get roofied at bars, so it's best not to go alone to a place you've never been. Anecdotal, but I've seen it happen before.
Also alcohol poisoning can be more than just puking. First time drinkers, especially young ones, don't really know where to stop so you can push yourself beyond the safe limit pretty easily.

>>33203939 (OP)
>She seems incredibly afraid that i am going to get like raped or drugged if i drink alcohol at a bar or club or whatever or that i might get run over or something idfk
If you try go out and drink, by yourself, as your first time drinking, it increases the chance that bad things will happen, since you have less experience with drinking and drinking culture. I highly recommend going with a group of people you are friendly with and (at least kinda) trust. Simply doing it with people will help you learn how to be safe while doing it.
>She wants me to try alcohol at home so that i can understand my limits.
Massively agree. This is a good idea, as long as you are home with people you trust. Please do this.
>ive had offers but i always declined because the offers didnt feel important enough to be the first time i try something
drinking is not that important. Do not place any importance on the 1st/2nd/100th drink you have. It's a drug and that's about it. If this is about increasing the enjoyment of the 21st, then by practising how to drink before then, your 21st will be more enjoyable as you'll know how to use drink as a method for increasing enjoyment.

>>33204217
no one gets stupidly drunk their first time, that's silly
OP just go fucking do it, it's not important for both alcohol and cannabis

>>33204214
>Femanon, it's just alcohol
>that stuff is teenage tier.
Look i didnt have a very exciting time in highschool because of the pandemic and i only just left community college. I go out to class at my normal traditional university and i see a bunch of 18/19 year old girls way prettier than me talk about how they go to frats and bar crawls and had a blast partying in high school and what not and i just feel bad that im a virgin whose never drank and doesnt have friends.

I Just want to experience some stuff before im so old that it is becomes excpetionally cringe. I cant go back and make younger me not be depressed anxious awkward and pretty and prevent the quarantine.

ive glown up. I could go hookup and get wasted right now. Guys have kept offering to do all sorts of stuff to me. But i dont want to remember the first time i drink or have sex to be something incredibly boring with no emotional baggage.

>>33204214
>>33204217
>That means you most likely don't know how to tell the shit hole rape city bars from the actual good ones.
>Girls really do get roofied at bars,
Im going to be 100% honest right now i still dont understand why i would get roofied or raped. Yeah i get it i read the statistics and hear the anecdotes but it still doesnt make sense why i should be afraid. Im never going to be the cutest most wasted girl in the room so why would i ever get targetted?

Ive had moments with police therapist or just random and whatnot where i tell them "hey a guy said or did something that made me scared or uncomfortable" and so often they just say its not really that big of a deal and then never show any concern. So if everyone thinks that im not in actual danger why should i think i am?

>>33204259
>Im never going to be the cutest most wasted girl in the room so why would i ever get targetted?

It's not about being cute, it's about being easy. And if you look like a victim, you'll get targeted. And you will look like one, you'll appear as the quiet and unsure and oblivious type of girl, the girl who can't say no and can't sense danger. You're the type who'd fall victim easily.

Even I wouldn't go drinking alone in a shit hole bar I don't know and I'm a grown man.

>>33203939 (OP)
>She seems incredibly afraid that i am going to get like raped or drugged if i drink alcohol at a bar or club or whatever or that i might get run over or something idfk. She wants me to try alcohol at home so that i can understand my limits.
She's right you stupid whore.

>>33204598
dont call me a whore :(

>>33203939 (OP)
I won't read drunkard threads. Just don't.

Just on the basis of being a woman, getting drunk alone is an incredibly stupid idea. Most men aren't going to take advantage, but all it takes is one that will, and you can guarantee there's going to be at least one of them around at any given time.

Also your mom has the right idea, just stay home and have some wine with her the first time at least, if not the first few times.

>>33204243
idk about that, i got pretty blasted my first time.

>>33205866
>getting drunk alone is an incredibly stupid idea.
What if i find another woman my age in the area thatd go with me? Its summer and there are a lot of rich kids at my school who are from the city im thinking of visiting.

i went to a club for the first time a few days ago and despite me being completely sober and parked nearby all the other girls i was with seemed really worried about me being safe and didnt want me to be alone unless i was okay with it. It seemed kinda weird to me cause ive never been in that social situation but they were like all like that.

Your mom is right.
>>33205960
>another woman my age in the area thatd go with me?
You're going to get sex trafficked.

Just drink your first time at home or with safe people my god its not that hard. Youre giving off the vibe that you want attention and want to get raped. Why would i go swimming at a beach with a bleeding wound if i know theres a chance a shark will come.

omfg i am not going to get raped or trafficked what the hell.

>>33205960
More than anything just stick to your group, and try to keep an eye on your friends as well, make sure one of them doesn't wander off alone. Being alone you're basically free game at that point. Also worth pointing out, don't assume your friends are guaranteed to look after you. It's entirely possible they might get caught up doing their own shit and forget about you, so you still gotta keep yourself in the forefront of your mind.

I'm probably just repeating shit your mom told you, but she's probably not exaggerating. There's always predators and opportunists nearby, not to mention just being around people that are drunk/high in general and everything that entails.

>>33205989
Act like a dumbass and you will.

>>33205993
>Act like a dumbass and you will.
im not a dumbass, i got into a good school, but even if i was why would men want to do that to me? There are surely always easier targets and i would probably be able to spot if something weird was going on

>>33206012
>but even if i was why would men want to do that to me?
This has to be fucking b8, right?

>im not a dumbass, i got into a good school
I'm not exactly from the ghetto myself, something still happened to my sister while she was drinking with her friends.

>There are surely always easier targets
If you're sloshed you are the easy target.

>and i would probably be able to spot if something weird was going on
that's kinda the issue though, you get drunk you likely aren't spotting shit. I've gotten myself into a good few situations because i was too drunk to have the wherewithal to spot a shady situation.

Just drink with buddies anon. Alcohol is pretty over rated though.

>>33203939 (OP)
>She seems incredibly afraid that i am going to get like raped or drugged if i drink alcohol at a bar or club or whatever or that i might get run over or something idfk. She wants me to try alcohol at home so that i can understand my limits.
Your mother's concerns are completely valid. She's not suggesting you to abstain from alcohol either. She just wants you to try it in a safe environment with people that you are familiar with.
Your first drink isn't that important. I don't recall having my first drink. If you are that inclined towards drinking in a club for your first time, make sure that you have a friend that you can rely on and look out for you.