im struggling to allow myself to become vulnerable and just feel, instead of think. seeing this girl who i have great chemistry with. time flies in person, constantly laughing and long phone calls. coming up on 7 weeks now.

she initiated the 'what are we' talk and we agreed to start dating exclusively. i can tell she is really into me, but i seem to still have my guard up a little and i don't know why. i do think about her, look forward to see her and find myself doing thoughtful gestures. it’s like i’ve build up these walls for years and i don't want to tear them down. i suppose there is some commitment issues going on, but i hate it because i want this to succeed and have the feeling i don't want to fuck this up.

besides communicating this to her, any advice, similar experiences?finding it very hard to navigate. i want to open up to potential love, i really do. right now i feel like im not giving my real authentic self which is unfair to her too, yet she seems to be head over heels.

>>33204110 (OP)
bumperoorah

>>33204110 (OP)
What have you guys done for dates so far?

>>33207016
we’ve gone hiking, dinner a few times, arcade and museums. we’ve met each other’s parents and slept over but we both live at home so that’s different

>>33204110 (OP)
7 weeks is nothing, keep doing things together and it will progress naturally. To love is to open up yourself to someone else, giving them the power to both make your happy and break you, often times in this order. You can't escape this if you want true love. So reflect very well if it's worth potentially hurting over this person in the future, and see in her a life long partner

>>33209182
i think you’re right but it’s really scary. i suppose it’s just letting things flow naturally now, i do really want to give it a serious chance because i believe it can work.

>>33212464
things work until you believe them not to
ive walked away from relationships because i thought it was over when it wasnt, they wanted me to prove my word, but they pushed me away somewhat, or i intepreted it as such, and so i gave up when i should have stayed committed
likewise my current situation i have given up and am so confused, so the problems cant even be solved now, because i dont believe it can work and have lost sight of it in the immediate feeling sense
for as long as you believe, love will prevail, through work and committment
unfortunately that does take two
for as long as either of you believe that it may work it will work
that's what most people dont understand about long term relationships, those people who stayed together through thick and thin, they did so simply by staying together instead of giving up, not by magic, and definitely not by love, because everyone who stays together long enough will grow to hate the other person or their situation at some point in time

>>33212512
i see, both have to continuously put in the effort then. what is considered a healthy timeframe before things should feel like ‘love’? i wouldn’t know when to make things official for example

>>33212512
>because everyone who stays together long enough will grow to hate the other person or their situation at some point in time
So what's the fucking point? Besides cultural/religious institutions? If it makes everyone hate their situation and the person they decided to attach themselves to for the rest of their life why bother actually? I haven't seen an answer to this question that wasn't just some iteration of "eh but you should anyways :)". Bullshit.

>>33204110 (OP)
A Fable: How Shaking Hands Began

In days of old Knights in armor who wanted to show friendship would take the metal glove off and extend their bare hand, knowing the other guy could lop it off but hoping th gesture of peace would work. Two knights showing friendship would grasp each other's vulnerable hand.

MORAL: Every human interaction, from casual meeting through romantic love, involves some risk of being hurt. But sometimes you just have to take off the glove.

>>33217882
i think anon meant that there will be a moment that happens but you stick together despite it and move past it, growing closer together instead. i don’t believe hating your so becomes normal