Anonymous
6/12/2025, 10:15:24 PM No.33209740
I feel like my impression on love, women, and relationships has soured because of my life.
I won't really go into a sob story or over-explain but I feel this way often and feel like love just doesn't exist and that all relationships are transactional. My parents both use me as a crutch for their insecurities, both financial for my father and emotional for my mother respectively, and I've drawn myself to the conclusion about how often and how frequent my Dad only married my mother because he wanted "easy-access pussy" that would at least give it up for him and my mother only really wanted a son because her entire family was in shambles overall. So she only wanted to have on person to project her insecurities onto: me.
This led me to think about being this sort-of "sensual and reproductive mate" in being the only way to really copulate in our world. Everything about it just felt dehumanizing when it just became work, work, work, and no love involved and when everything just became about sex. Like, on one hand, I can understand the need to achieve the most results with success. On another hand, I can't imagine how bad it'd be for my conscience to screw over one woman after another. Doesn't help since my parents and I had a very disconnected relationship with me growing up due to them butting heads over working and also thinking and feeling like I was too much to handle for them. So when they got vaxxed with the mrna, I kept asking myself who really needs a family.
I would say it isn't in my nature. But what nature do I decide that to be?
I won't really go into a sob story or over-explain but I feel this way often and feel like love just doesn't exist and that all relationships are transactional. My parents both use me as a crutch for their insecurities, both financial for my father and emotional for my mother respectively, and I've drawn myself to the conclusion about how often and how frequent my Dad only married my mother because he wanted "easy-access pussy" that would at least give it up for him and my mother only really wanted a son because her entire family was in shambles overall. So she only wanted to have on person to project her insecurities onto: me.
This led me to think about being this sort-of "sensual and reproductive mate" in being the only way to really copulate in our world. Everything about it just felt dehumanizing when it just became work, work, work, and no love involved and when everything just became about sex. Like, on one hand, I can understand the need to achieve the most results with success. On another hand, I can't imagine how bad it'd be for my conscience to screw over one woman after another. Doesn't help since my parents and I had a very disconnected relationship with me growing up due to them butting heads over working and also thinking and feeling like I was too much to handle for them. So when they got vaxxed with the mrna, I kept asking myself who really needs a family.
I would say it isn't in my nature. But what nature do I decide that to be?