Fiancée messaged her ex saying she wanted to get back together. Regretted it right after, deleted it, blocked him. Told me a month later like it was nothing. I’m wrecked. Want to call off the engagement, but she’s pregnant. No idea what the fuck to do anymore.

>>33209797 (OP)
Yeah that's quite fucked. If you can find it in your heart to forgive her you might want to consider that she's flooded with pregnancy hormones and ultimately trusts and loves you enough in order to tell you about it.

>>33209812
Why even tell me? If she regretted it, she should’ve taken it to the grave. Saying it now just feels like she dumped the guilt on me instead of carrying it herself.

>>33209797 (OP)
The ice has already thinned. If there's a divorce, there goes all of your assets.

>>33209832
We weren’t fighting. I was helping around the house, supporting her through the pregnancy, never missed a single doctor’s appointment. We’re still having sex, even with her seven months pregnant. I don’t get why she even thought of him, let alone messaged him.

>>33209797 (OP)
How many months pregnant is she?

That’s actually nuts, though, because for me, further I got along in my pregnancy, the more I began to look at the father of my child like a god. I practically worship him now.

I’m sorry that happened to you. Just be understanding and don’t do anything rash. Don’t make decisions out of anger. Wait. Everything is for your child now. Don’t destroy something precious for something that hasn’t happened yet. No one is perfect.

Wouldn't it be funny if it was his kid?

>>33209879
>further I got along in my pregnancy, the more I began to look at the father of my child like a god
OP you might want a paternity test

>>33209887
That’s the crazy part ,he hasn’t even been in the U.S. for years. He’s been living in the UK for the last four. So why message him? Why reach out to someone she hasn’t seen in four years? Does she still love him? Am I just the backup?

>>33209879
She messaged him when she was just under 5 months pregnant. Didn’t tell me until a month later, about 3 weeks ago. Now she’s 7 months along, and I still can’t wrap my head around it. I told her I’m still thinking about our relationship, but she can forget about the wedding happening anytime soon, if at all.

>>33209917
>>33209942
I mean... planes exist. I used to fly around to meet up with girls. Not to say that happened, but I'm trying to figure out her weird ass behavior.

>>33209917
>>33209942
>>33209951
They astral fucked

>>33209951
I don’t think so. She said she just felt lonely and wanted to feel attractive to other men. She regretted it right away, deleted the message instantly, and even let me go through all her socials and devices. But if she truly regretted it, she should have just suffered quietly on her own.

oof if that happened to someone i know, that day would result in a double or even triple kill
im at a loss for words op.
but i guess thats what one gets for whoring around

>>33209989
Feel sorry for you dude

She probably feels trapped and felt like escaping mentally for a while. I mean she's carrying your child dude, she's bound to you for eternity now. Modern life is fucked and makes it very hard to accept that monogamous life. If anything, she regretted, deleted it, came clean. It's better she does this than hide it from you.

this is brootal, dont expect too much from her in the future

If she wanted the relationship to work, she wouldnt have told you what she did. She is an absolute malicious mess of a person. I assume she will play the card of being mentally unstable and having crazy anxiety or whatever. Its bullshit.

>>33209797 (OP)
Before you get married make damn sure you have a prenuptial agreement in case shit goes south. This is definitely a big red flag.

Right now focus on calming down. Maybe go out, clear your head. Later on, when your calm, cool, and collected, talk to her about exactly what happened. Be calm and polite but honest about it. Find out exactly what went down between your fiance and her ex.

If she won't be straight and honest with you, try asking the ex himself, in a polite and respectful way (he's more likely to be honest if you don't come off as aggressive) if things don't feel right, consider breaking things off.

If you decide to break things off, get a lawyer. Make sure she gets a paternity test when she gives birth to make sure it's yours, and if it is your son, you can still be a father to him/her without being married to someone who you don't trust.

Ultimately, the only one who can/should decide if you should stay or go is you. Think long and carefully about it, and do what you think is right.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

yeahnah fuck that
has she been "stupidly honest" before?
if yes: hormones
if no: sabotage

the kind of person who can't help but tell you when they've done something insane like that, is pretty rare

I can't etell you what to do but I would definitely call off the wedding full stop

>>33209797 (OP)
To go out of her way to message him means she had been thinking about it for a while. To message this to him is her accepting that, in that moment, she was willing to throw evrything she has with you away.
So the question is, what has changed?
There is something wrong here, and, if I were you, I couldn't trust that she wont have the same thoughts later on, and what if she actually goes through with it?

If this was me, I simply couldn't trust her.
This is so fucked, man.

Questions:
Did she seem remorseful? I think if she truly regretted it, she would show remorse, or even simply not tell you.
Has she done anything like this before?

>>33210739
She has ADHD and will sometimes just blurt out anything that's on her mind.
>>33210836
She’s never done anything like this before, and she’s always been such a genuinely sweet person. After she blurted it out and realized what she had said, she was deeply sorry and told me how much she regretted it. It was just one message. She didn’t even wait for a response before deleting it immediately. She allowed me to go through all of her devices and social media accounts, completely transparent and open. Since then, she’s been doing everything she can to make things right. She even called her parents, siblings, and extended family to let them know that the wedding is postponed indefinitely and made it clear that it was because of her actions.

>>33209797 (OP)
If I'm being honest, it's over dude. Save yourself the stress and heartache and just move on, even though its hard. Something similar happened to me and i didn't, and I paid the price.

>>33212121
this is pretty fucked but momentary doubts can be overcome
you need to have the long talk about what everybody wants now and in the future
heads up: if it isn't not you, its more from you (making her feel desired or whatever bullshit)

i'd fully freak out and have the conversation while holding her head in my hands, but i'm currently single so yknow

>>33209797 (OP)
>Told me a month later
so she's untrustworthy AND a retard
nice job impregnating this.
whatever happens next, ask yourself how come you chose such a horrible mother for your child (and find another, should you have more)