2 year relationship down the drain. it was honestly quite toxic but in the end i did love him. idk what to do. like what do i do now? we broke up probably less than a n hour ago and i feel like shit

Do something really hard and challenging to the point where you need to become a different, leveled up person. But before you do that cry as much as you need to, talk to people, and go out with your friends. I would avoid trying to get in a new relationship or having shitty sex with strangers. It will take about a year until you will really truly feel totally over it.

>>33210560 (OP)
Try to keep in mind how toxic the relationship was and know that ultimately, breaking up was for the best. Get rid of shit that reminds you of him, but don't throw anything away yet. Just put it in your attic or basement or something so you can deal with it when you're less emotionally volatile.

If you have any good friends you might want to consider spending some time with them so you're not alone with your thoughts. Otherwise, do something for yourself. Eat your favorite comfort, watch your favorite movie, go outside on a hike and be in nature. Just do something to relax and unwind while you process everything.

Like any other loss, you'll have to go through the stages of grief, but know that this too shall pass. You will get over this. Don't try to rush recovery. Take it slow, be honest with yourself, and let it happen naturally.

>>33210560 (OP)
Work out, have sex with other people, talk to a friend or someone you trust, go to therapy, engage in any creative activity to express your pain (music, poetry, painting,...)

Nurse yourself back to health slowly. Don't rush into another relationship.

>>33210560 (OP)
>what do i do now?
Maybe stop being gay, bro.