I was dating this woman for a few months, and she recently dumped me, around 6 weeks ago. She just invited me to her birthday party, a few days ago, and I’m wondering whether that might indicate any possibility of rekindling the romance. Ive gotten some decent advice on these things before on /adv/ so i'm wondering if anyone has any advice for what I should do or perspective on the situation,


We had great sex and connection and the dumping was totally unexpected. There was no tension or anything bad between us. She just started pulling away, then i asked her what was going on. Her response was that she really cares about me, i’m the best guy she’s dated, but that she doesn’t have the space in her life now for me because of career goals and family responsibilities. She ended her message by saying she hopes we can catch up again when life gets less busy, but i didn’t think this was really serious

Around 60 people are invited to this party. I’m considering getting in touch and telling her i miss her, and asking whether she wants to hang out again before the party.

Is it worth reaching out again? and should I wait a couple of weeks to do it, or just get in contact today? Im seeing another woman next weekend but don't have anything on this weekend.

>>33210792 (OP)
>she doesn’t have the space in her life now for me because of career goals and family responsibilities
>she ended her message by saying she hopes we can catch up again when life gets less busy
she wanted to fuck Chad and felt guilty you weren't a fuckboy she could ghost

he got bored now she's back

process however you want but just know the truth

>>33210792 (OP)
explain your physical stats. height, are you overweight, what’s your job

cause really,
that’s what it comes down to, because she CLEARLY has a pool of 60+ people to choose from

what makes you special to her?

>>33210805
>best guy she’s dated
lol I’ve actually heard this one before from a friend, he told me she cheated lmfao

Yea you should go to the party as long as you are okay with a few things. I wouldn't ask her to hang out before the party. That indicates desperation and neediness. She is coming back into your life, and you should let her make herself more comfortable at her own leisure. The other thing is that you need to more or less accept she was probably seeing other guys during this break. I cant prove that, I could be wrong, but this is usually the case. She wasnt totally sure about all her options and she had to test out some others without you being there. If you are okay with that, then you can proceed. However, you cant freak out if she tells you she was sucking other dicks in the meantime. If you are gonna chimp about that best to just ignore her and move on. I would also probably just treat her as a sex buddy more than relationship material unless she really indicates some kind of shift. People use excuses about being too busy or whatever for a relationship. You can have a relationship where you are gone at war for years long. The only thing that ends relationships is that someone no longer wants to be committed. Just keep that in mind.

>>33210819
>explain your physical stats. height, are you overweight, what’s your job
im tall and fit but have no job.

This woman has her life together so much, even has a mortgage on a house. So I definitely have felt like she was a bit out of my league in that sense when we were dating.

>>33210835
Yeah it was never a "relationship" in that sense, just casual dating, although I suppose I did have strong feelings for this woman. There's no chance id freak out about something like that

We were never exclusive, i had sex with another chick during the time i was seeing her too. The main thing i'm considering is whether it's possible to reconnect with her, not really worried about jealousy or whatever.

>>33210859
well better show up with a job, the fuck lol

>>33210792 (OP)
It means you're "friend zoned." Have no further contact, regardless of how many times she messages you.

>>33210859
How can you be dumped if you two weren't exclusive? She told you that she wanted to stop having casual sex?

>>33210968
Yeah she told me she didnt have the space in her life to keep hangin out due to work study and family responsibilities and that she couldnt give me the energy that i deserve .etc.

>>33210987
>I'm too busy for (you)
not looking good, bud
if you do go, you need to have some other motivation/ passion going on, if you want to win her back
take a shit-kicker job at a supermarket to fund your new skydiving hobby or something

>>33210792 (OP)
Honestly I’d never get back together with a girl who dumped me. If your girl isn’t begging you to marry her, holy fuck it isn’t worth it. You want devotion. And it’s either there or it isn’t.

At an absolute minimum, I’d let her come to you. Like go to the party and see what happens. But honestly what you really should be doing is trying to meet other women.

>>33210792 (OP)
One of the stranger differences between men and women is that women innocently and sincerely believe they can end a romance and remain friends, while men tend to think in all-or-nothing terms.

>>33210792 (OP)
>I’m considering getting in touch and telling her i miss her, and asking whether she wants to hang out again before the party
it's well and totally over
go ahead and go if you want to humiliate yourself
message her and say wah i miss you if you want to firmly place her boot well and truly over your head, forever
you should go with another date and get wasted
when the one who dumped you inevitably comes up to and gives you shit
spew on her
that'd fix things like you won't believe, it's a shame you won't do it because you care too much
which is always bad btw
you had great sex and connection
she just had another guy that obsessed over her, which is what she likes to have, hence the drama BS (too busy, too much family, too much career - humble bragging basically)