G.i.o.y.c

no

I hate myself. For allowing others to inflict pain on me. For my bad decisions. For being an obese piece of shit. For cutting like a teenage emo girl making a rolling thread on /b/. For being such a retard and passing on such good opportunities. For being so lonely and desperate that I started watching tranny porn since those are the only likes I get on dating apps but I don't like them, so if I watch enough porn maybe I'll like them and get laid with someone at least. I hate myself for my low self esteem. I hate myself for being a coward and never gotten into a fight when I should definitely have in certain scenarios. Pussy,

it's over.

this works

I hate adults. They preach about responsibility and maturity yet they throw their life away for petty materialism. They blow their valuables on temporary pleasures and shun those close to them. What a pathetic laughing stock.

You guys are out clawing at each other's throats over a sports game? Spend your time recording yourself screeching and seething in a car over some meaningless politics (that may never affect you). You throw your petty tantrums when you don't get your way and mow down other humans and parade the deaths of our species. You lot are worse than children.

>>33211956
I really wonder what you do that makes you hate adults so much.

>>33212164
I guess I phrased myself somewhat extreme here though. I really don't hate all adults, I love my parents and a lot of adults really. It's just, when you see how most of the avarice, debauchery, and wickedness is ran through this world, most of it stems from adults. I'm really interested in law but the more I get in tune with it, the more I realize most adults are simply overgrown children.

I don't hate adults for being, well, big children. I hate the fact they try to market themselves as being seemingly "above" this when they're no different. They harass their neighbors over stupid stuff like the grass being cut the wrong way. They can't do simple tasks like picking up after their dogs. These are people who drive and pay taxes yet they can't do the simple thing of just being civilized? When you read about how countless lives are lost due to driving under the influence, it seems like a lot of this meaningless destruction could've been averted if we valued one another better. Perhaps if we valued other human beings over getting "wasted" than maybe society would function a bit better but noooo I have to go blow my money on prostitutes and worthless junk and rape minors because "I'm a heckin adult!"

I don't think kids are any better. I don't want to sound misanthropic here either. I love humanity and I want to see us succeed as a whole, but I think the self-absorption of the older generations needs to stop. We're all flawed but we can sort out our issues together instead of growing old and bitter.

Had a revelation tonight that my family is my worst enemy
I've been trapped as a caregiver for my grandma pushing 3 years now and I'm at my limit, I just want her to die so I can be free. I turn 28 this year and the regret and resentment that builds as the days go by is completely unbearable now.
How much more of my life and freedom do I have to sacrifice just so she can be a little more comfortable?
How much longer will she be alive? Months? God forbid, years... Even thinking about that and I want to blow my brains out
My mental health got so bad I was actively seeking ways to either kill her and if that didn't succeed, kill myself
Those thoughts are returning recently and I don't know if I can handle another mental breakdown, I will hurt her if she pushes me any further
I desperately need help, I'm thinking of just outright leaving this place, leaving her to fend for herself, and my Dad to deal with his mother who I should never have to have taken care of in the first place.
I want to be free so badly, it consumes my thoughts on a daily basis
Please
Please just let her die
If there truly is a God, free me from this Hell i'm in. I don't care how anymore

>>33212269
>pushes me any further
What does she do to you?

>>33212293
It's just the complete hopelessness that being a caretaker brings
No job
No income
No friends
No social life
No future because my time is being robbed from me day by day
Not to mention dealing with an incontinent, combative, ungrateful cunt of a person who doesn't realize I am sacrificing EVERYTHING for her.
Even when she was in a facility where they were abusing and neglecting her who gets stuck with a further deteriorating elderly woman? Me
This life is hell, I day dream of the day she finally dies so I can tell my whole family to go fuck themselves and finally live MY LIFE

This used to be fun.

>>33212305
So she does nothing wrong to you, just relies on your care. You can fit in things you want where you can. I hope you pray to God to forgive you for how hateful you are.

>>33212316
Fuck you
You have ZERO clue of what's really like to be in my position, don't dare try to judge or condescend me when you have no idea the Hell that is my day to day existence and the Hell that is being a glorified slave "caregiver"

>>33212340
>has to care for someone who cannot care for themself
>too low IQ to figure out how to find peace during downtime
>full of hatred towards everyone except themself
Yep, you gonna have to pray

>>33212343
You have clearly never had to care for someone else
You have no idea what it's really like and it's obvious
Please kill yourself TODAY

>>33212358
It sounds more like the other anon has never had to care for anything, if you get what I'm saying

im with someone whos not even that horrible really but its a crucial part of why my life has gone to bits and im finally working up the courage to leave forever
feels weird, like realising you were daydreaming at work and someones talking to you
i shut myself off from the world and kept giving ground in the relationship till i realise now i have nothing left and have become a shell of a person
they hate what ive become and dont understand it, obviously, they take no accountability and respond with "no you" but i have to listen to their diatribe that can literally go on for hours, and any solution i put forward is argued with and intepreted badly
its all my fault, and yet im expected to fix it
so i dont feel bad
ive tried to communicate a lot as best i can
if i feel like i cant talk to this person about anything, and yet other people describe me as someone who can talk to anyone about anything, when i knew people i was understood as a very understanding person, so i think its fair to assume the problem lies with them, its unique to them at least, so the outcome is the same
im going to leave
suddenly, without communicating or even bothering
it never works out, all communication with this person feels like a trap that leads to bad places
i think it'll probably (hopefully) be the last intimate relationship other than hookups that i'll ever have
im much happier alone, i surge with creativity that is dead in this current relationship
still im scared
ive become shell shocked from the constant nagging and brow beating and complaining and endless fixing of problems that arise out of nowhere and honestly are 90% of the time seemingly totally random
i know i'll be fine, it's just been so long, and i've become so isolated and shut down and lack any belief about anything i do
escape is the only answer
eventually, it will happen
soon

>>33212269
just kill her with a pillow or scare the shit out of her so she has a heart attack or push her down the stairs, lifes too short
or avoid the total psycho route and
just leave

I said howdy
He said hi

If I find out he's in there I'm busting that door and I'm shooting everyone!
I've had enough!