After all of our mandatory spending (expected recurring expenses, our savings goals (1.3k/mo), not including things like groceries that could vary) I net a cool $4k a month between me, wife and our newborn. For simplicity this is treated as a slush fund; micromanaging categories in the past has been a disaster. It has taken a gargantuan amount of effort to temper spending down.
Still, as I look at the graph this month, we are ever slightly trending down. Not as bad as previous months, but it just seems I can never catch a break. Every single month for the past year we've gone over that slush fund limit.
I might spend 15% of that 4k a month and the wife will spend the rest.
I just refuse to believe all of this can be spent in a month. Part of it is just sitting down with wife and going through every transaction...but I really don't want to be anal about it like that. It's important that I trust her.
Still, I want to increase our savings further. I really think we could save 2k a month, because I want a house sooner than later. It's literally all I want. I have no other kind of savings goal. But it's foolish to try to save more when we can't stay within the current limit we set.
Is it an income problem (I am the sole breadwinner as she watches the kid)? Do I need to scrutinize my wife, who already feels insecure about having nothing to do but watch the kid (admittingly an attention draining task, but she is an excellent loving mother) and NOT overspend?

>>33211071 (OP)
Your wife should be more than just a child-raiser. Put yourself in her shoes. Talk with her and find a solution that satisfies her and is feasible, and at the same time while both of you raise the child. Going over each transaction is inevitable, if you want to spot the issue. Is she as concerned about this as you?

>>33211071 (OP)
In the past, the wives were supposed to d9 the budget. It doesn’t matter who does it, but it does need to be done. You do need to scrutinize every transaction if you are on a tight budget.

I don’t know why it would be considered a breach of trust. It’s just common sense. It’s either that or you can gradually become poorer.