I got asked to speak at a wedding for a couple I am friends with, the main problem is I know she secretly has had a crush on me for years, and I also have developed a crush on her because I find it attractive when people like me.
What should I say in my speech?

>>33211147 (OP)
Just sing "Can't take my eyes off you" confessing your love. Use your free will, completely ruin the wedding. Might get punched tho

>>33211147 (OP)
>I know she secretly has had a crush on me for years
how do you figure?

>Muh feels!
What a fag.

This isn’t hard.

Start by talking up the dude. He’s your bro, he’s smart, funny, snappy dresser etc. then talk about the girl, how she’s charming, kind, makes great tacos etc. then talk about how happy it makes you these two wonderful people found each other. If you can work these into a funny story about the couple, you’re golden.

What you don’t do is let an old crush get in the way of making a good speech, dingus. I’m one of those people who develops attraction whenever a woman laughs at one of my jokes or does me the smallest kindness. A small part of my heart and a big part of my loins yearn for strange - whether tall, short, thin, fat, old or young, a part of me wants them all - often at the same time.

But I don’t act on those impulses or change how I act around others because I’m a functioning adult with a wife and family. I would never do anything to hurt them, so I don’t indulge these fantasies as anything other than what they are.

>>33211147 (OP)
DO NOT MENTION IT. Google "sample Best Man speeches" and use one of the shorter examples as a model

>>33211840
I'd also add that the most memorable speeches are often also short.