Is it normal to stop feeling like yourself in a relationship or am I just with someone clingy who demands all of my energy and leaves me feeling like a husk of myself?

>>33211554 (OP)
>or am I just with someone clingy who demands all of my energy and leaves me feeling like a husk of myself?
That IS normal

>>33211554 (OP)
its normal to stop feeling like yourself in your relationship if your family/childhood dynamics didnt make you feel like yourself . we recreate all we know.

That being said its not healthy to forget who you are in relationships. There should be parity.

>>33211571
Yeah I guess, taking care of someone else does mean focusing a bit less on myself. It's not that I feel bad exactly, I guess I just have to remember to focus on stuff I like too.

>>33211576
I think this is it, I have always hid my private self in a sort of filial emotional servitude. In a lot of ways I don't want to be seen, my intensity is only for me, I need to hide to process, feel, and think what I truly want to. That being said, it seems there will always be a part of myself that nobody else is allowed to know.

>>33211598
>I think this is it, I have always hid my private self in a sort of filial emotional servitude.
> it seems there will always be a part of myself that nobody else is allowed to know.
yup. it took me an IMMENSE AMOUNT of effort to let people know these parts of me. but just the other night i was able to reveal just some authenticity, and it felt incredible just to be fucking known. i had to go to therapy though to unfuck my familial situation so thats your advice
GL anon, dont be a ghost in your relationship

>>33211627
Thanks anon, I'll keep that in mind.

>>33211554 (OP)
In a good relationship, you feel a different version of yourself but almost a better version. In a bad one, idk they can tear you down, make you a worse version. Anyway, it all sounds like a red flag anon. You should be happier in a relationship, especially early on.

>>33211598
You should be able to share that part as well, but not have it be something exposed very often. It's a show of vulnerability, but t the same time you're not really compromising that aspect at all points and leaving yourself open

Relationships are not all like this. Find someone who meets your needs, respects you for who you are, builds an equal partnership with shared tasks if you share a home. The first person you want to tell when something good happens, the first person you want to talk to when something bad happens. The person you want to tell the normal things to.

If being in a relationship is worse than being alone then the relationship wasn’t worth it.

A relationship should feel like freedom and safety. You don’t get to be an abusive cunt, but they should add to your life.

If you’re sad it is better to be alone. There are literally billions of people out there, someone will fit better. You may already know them.

>>33211598
If you can’t share that side of yourself with a partner, you’ll never truly bond with them. I mean you don’t have to rip your heart out and sob but you have to who you are, completely. If you don’t trust her to do that for a good reason (not just general distrust) it’s a pretty clear sign the relationship is doomed.

>>33211916
truth

your partner should be the person you feel the safest with

she should love you if you’re a mess, or sad, or upset

she should celebrate your success, your joy, and your quirks

you’re always going to have disagreements but she should be willing to talk through things with you. you should understand and respect each other even if you don’t agree and can’t compromise

she should feel safe, she should feel like home


does she feel like home? does someone else?

>>33211554 (OP)
If she does not love you unconditionally dont be with her and find someone who does. She should want to serve and nurture you not drain you unless she is draining your seed you want a wife who will forgive you for most things or everything not an emotionally manipulative BPD demon dump her now

>>33212022

Unconditional love does not exist. Someone doesn’t have to love you if you’re a piece of shit who treats them poorly.

Love from mutual respect and care can feel unconditional.