I got high on acid for the first time. My boyfriend was there to trip sit, and I mostly watched music videos on the couch while feeling the texture of a blanket I was holding.

I had a self realization sort of moment, one that felt genuine enough that it persisted into being sober. It felt like it wasn't the drugs making me feel this way, but more that they helped me open up something I'd kept bottled up?

I realized I just kinda did what everyone expected me to most my life, for gender. I was expected to dress a certain way, to keep my hair long, so on. So I had been, but it never really meant anything to me and now it felt dumb to keep doing any of it.

I got a haircut, first thing. Not anything explicitly masc, but just kinda androgynous. It felt a lot more right, and I know that's probably dumb from a bio whatever type of view. I don't want to be a man I just kinda want to throw gender away and just do my own stuff. I changed my normal makeup to something a lot subtler, I always liked playing around with makeup and I don't feel like it has to be as gendered as everyone makes it out to be.

My boyfriend got really worked up after I shared these feelings with him. He threw out the rest of the acid which pissed me off since it was mine and I paid for it and stuff even if he was the one to get it. He's trying to get me to see his step mom bc she's like a psychologist and he thinks she can "fix" whatever the acid did.

Was it the drugs that made me trans, or did they just relax me enough to see I was always kinda non-binary?

LOOOL I really hope this is a fake story
I remember in the 90s we took acid and did fun things

Nobody and I mean NOBODY took it and went out and turned into a transvestite
It was unheard of

All this shit is social conditioning
Like you couldn’t just be a tomboy type or even a lesbian no you have to be “trans”

I bet it wasn’t even real acid but some shitty shit that is analogous or some research chem
what is wrong with these keeeeedz

Holy fucking hell this has to be bullshit I cannot believe it otherwise

>>33213098
>Like you couldn’t just be a tomboy type or even a lesbian no you have to be “trans”
I know it's probably cringe but I just don't like the social lens people view me through when I'm seen as a woman and that doesn't change if I'm a tomboy. I like guys, I'm not a lesbian, but I just get frustrated how it feels like everyone treats me like...it's hard to articulate fully but its like people think I can't do shit for myself without someone "looking out" for me. Like my parents always harassed me to move back home if I ever break up with my bf because they think it's too dangerous for me to live alone in the city.

I don't want to live life on easy mode or baby mode or whatever. I want to live for real, I know everybody has to count on someone sometimes, but I don't want to feel like my loved ones are going to stress themselves into heart attacks if I'm not living in a bubble.

My brother doesn't tell anybody where he goes, disappears for two or more days at a time, and when he gets back nobody freaks out bc they trust him to handle himself.

I felt like, when I was on the drugs, there was just this clarity that I needed to drop "delicate" stuff if I don't want to be seen as delicate. It made me feel like the real me was buried under all the girly stuff I always did because I was expected to.

They gave me haldol in the hospital and I immediately got a trans gf.
Halperidol makes you gay.

>>33213049 (OP)
ket makes you trans
it's not that far-fetched that acid could do that to some individuals

that shit get real for him
free my man in her
i got killers in the streets that kill god for a treat i never knww

>>33213146
>ITT: woman wants to abandon societal safety measures for the fairer sex because it makes her feefees hurt

You are not a man. Acid doesn't change that.

>>33213183
Does it make me less valid as a trans enby to have come to realizing it through an acid trip?
>>33213283
I said I don't want to be a man, I just want to shed gender altogether.

>>33213049 (OP)
Acid/LSD and other similar substances like Psilocybin and DMT commonly dissolve social boundaries, as well as your sense of self identity. You will begin to question every single social function and norm, from employment to society to politics to whatever, yeah even gender roles.

That's what those substances usually do. It shows you that everything humans ever did, culturally and socially, was all made up. Like a giant game of play pretend. Our lives needed stories, so we made the stories.

But this trans shit, OP, is yet another fake fabrication of the ego. Another fairytale. Just because you feel the gender role of female is just a role, a performance, does not make the actual gender (your sex) not real. Reality is you're a female. You can be a woman who doesn't feel womanly, still makes you a woman.

And there's no point in trying to emulate males or masculinity or whatever the fuck 'non binaries' even do.

Do not change anything in your life after a trip. Because in 2 - 3 months, you go back to your normal mode of thinking, the afterglow of the trip ends. And if you do stupid shit in the meantime, you'll end up regretting it.

I've known people to do LSD, then they get the big mystical insight, they quit their jobs, leave their partners, and go on some narcissistic ego trip. Then it ends and the they are left with nothing.

>>33213049 (OP)
You aren't trans, being trans isn't a thing, you are simply a woman that isn't into stereotypically effeminate things. Nothing wrong with that. Don't do anything retarded like chop your tits off

>>33213049 (OP)
Congratulations, you weren't mentally strong enough to integrate your drug experience and you paid the price of becoming a dumb faggot tranny.

>>33213146
Go live near nature my friend , even if you cut your own flesh people will still see you as a woman , but this time a woman so weak she didn't even accept her own self as woman. Be a woman , acquire the capacity to become a mother and continue.

>>33213049 (OP)
>It felt like it wasn't the drugs making me feel this way, but more that they helped me open up something I'd kept bottled up?
That's exactly what happened, yes. And from the way you describe it, you aren't "trans" at all: you're a woman, you want to carry on being a woman, you just can't be arsed any more conforming to society's expectations of how women should look and behave; and that's perfectly fine. Don't sweat it, and do your own thing.

>>33213841
Thank you, this was my first time trying it and this sort of information's pretty helpful.
>>33214185
There are demonstrably trans people out there so idk what you mean about trans not being a thing???
>>33214362
I feel like that would just be doubling down on the stuff I don't want to be though.
>>33214578
I want to change the way people socialize with me though, and I don't know how to do that other than to change my presentation.

>>33214916
>I want to change the way people socialize with me though, and I don't know how to do that other than to change my presentation.
So instead of making you more open and spiritual like psychedelics typically are known for, you selfish want people to bend over backwards for your delusional interpretation of reality? Doesn't sound like you had a very positive experience to me.

>>33213049 (OP)
sounds like you just want to be normal and not have your personality defined by being a girl,

>>33214943
I didn't want to make anybody else do anything. I wanted to change myself in a way where others would naturally see me the way I want to be seen. I just want to be free from all the expectations people have about gender because it matters a lot to people where I live that women are feminine and men are manly. I don't want to have to be more feminine than what feels right for me.
>>33214960
Yeah that's pretty much it

>>33214916
>Thank you, this was my first time trying it and this sort of information's pretty helpful

Yeah no problem OP. I used to do lots of psychedelics in my twenties, I vividly remember how it goes. As far as you are concerned, this erosion of gender identity is normal, because the drug erodes identity altogether. Not sure what dose you did, but it goes like this:
>Low dose: your sense of cultural identity or understanding of society melts
>Mid dose: your sense of identity starts to melt, your own gender identity, your identity as a family member, your identity as a partner to someone, etc.
>High dose: You're approaching ego death, your entire sense of 'self' starts to melt
>Heroic dose: You do not exist, there is no (you), only eternity, and there is no longer a felt difference between you and the air around you, or the birds or the trees or the stars

Pretty crazy shit. Then you come back down to earth 12 hours later, and you spend a couple months processing what the fuck you experienced lol. Then you stop caring and continue with life.

I don't think you're trans/non binary. Gender politics aside, the actual people who have that sort of dysphoria of gender have the feeling happen to them for a long long time and isn't induced by drugs. You took drugs and felt funny in your identity. So just accept it as that - drugs made you feel funny. There is no significance to it (although psychedelics like LSD make the mind burn with feelings of significance) but again, that's what the drug does.

>>33213146
i don’t get it desu
especially in western countries masculine women are common. but they still look normal. most get away with it because they are hot in the first place otherwise you run the risk of sounding like a loud retard. also common are simps
why dont women carry some form of weapon if not to at least feel safer or change their mentality? it is like they enjoy being weak. after 2/3 mo of your trip you will probably go back anyway. i wonder what you even saw in the first place
just dont alienate those you already know too much

>>33215092
>Cont
I don't think you need to see a therapist and I don't think your boyfriend needs to blow this event out of proportion. He should know what the drugs do (presuming he tried or does acid too).

No therapist or psychologist can even work with psychedelic induced phenomena. It's the one thing in life that defies all rationality and logic, psychedelic land is almost like another mental dimension entirely, it's bizarro world. So your bf's mom won't have anything insightful to help you.

Cuz you don't need the help. You just need clarity and reassurance that it's normal to feel that shit on drugs, and in a few months you'll be fine.

If you wanna dig into the experience as something meaningful, then by all means you can. But don't interpret the feelings in a linear way (you'll only be convinced you are trans or non binary).

Instead, think of it as a feeling that bubbled up. Ponder why that feeling was in you, where did it come from? What part of your life grown this feeling in you? Is it really about trans identity, or rather, is it about struggling to connect emotionally with other females? Like mom, sisters, female peers throughout life. Chances are the feeling comes from that.

>>33215132
anon mustve seen something batshit crazy to want to become a trannie dyke from being a normal girl with a family and bf

>>33215146
Maybe. But psychedelics are weird as shit anon. You get a sort of perceptive/mental synthesia. What you 'see' is strobing iridescent patterns of repeating geometry, shapes, infinite patterns of vivid light and some really gnarly shit. What you feel from it is entirely different, yet connected to it in a weird psychedelic way. So she probably saw random shit, but that somehow translated into gender identity lol.

I remember one trip I had, I saw weaving serpentine ropes of colour, metamorphosing into a fractal landscape of vast bismuth-like crystalline textures and lights. Then a weird disembodied head of a ram or a goat made of helixes and spirals started to charge into my 'mind' ??? Then the feeling I got was "I want to kill everything that loves and can be loved" and I felt intensely aggressive and wicked for a few hours. Wacky shit.

>>33215185
desu i just get really anxious the whole time and halfway in im just glad its going to be over
smoking relieves it for a few seconds which is pretty nice (like taking a breath in between drowning). weed just ruins it
most of the time im disassociated and psychs are the chance to regain that childlike anxiety for a bit

>>33214916
>I want to change the way people socialize with me though, and I don't know how to do that other than to change my presentation.
Pick people up on it when they don't treat you the way you want them to. "Sorry, did you assume that just because I'm female? That was kind insulting, don't you think?"

>>33213146
Anon, it's fine to drop the feminine stuff, but you aren't being forced to play life on easy mode.
You're stuck in hardmode, and your family is trying to help.
You've got a target on your back- either because someone wants your body, or because they want something else and they think they can take it from you because you're smaller than them.
Your family doesn't worry about your brother disappearing for a couple days because he's not nearly as likely to be kidnapped/attacked, and if he is he's just...bigger.

And this doesn't make you trans. Not appreciating gendered expectations might be trans-adjacent, but it ISN'T TRANS. You're just a woman who doesn't like feminine shit and doesn't like being treated like she's delicate.

aka a tomboy
congrats on deciding for yourself, in regards to your style, btw

(all that said, being trans is a thing and anons here shouldn't be obsessing over what's in other peoples' pants)

>>33213146
it's absolutely normal to want to be taken seriously and not coddled but that has nothing to do with societal norms and i'm tired of people thinking it does. you're not trans but you are confused right now. go back and do shrooms instead but don't overdo it.

fucking psyop thread designed to get people flame warring

>>33216869
Who the fuck is psy-oping you when trump is in the whitehouse bro?
Fucking WHO?

>>33215101
My religion discourages weapons for anyone, but most people carry/use them anyway and act like I'm weird for trying to respect that.
>>33215132
My bf never did acid, he was kind of against me trying it but said he'd tripsit for me to let me try it once.
>>33215979
I tried that a few times, but I was told to grow up and be realistic and it made me feel dumb.

>>33216881
do you let trump fuck your wife too

>>33213049 (OP)
If you transition, it will be one less reproductively viable white woman in the world after the hormones make you sterile.

Please transition immediately.

>>33213049 (OP)
You don't know the first thing about being male, don't appropriate my gender

>>33213049 (OP)
None of this means youre trans.
>noticed gender norms
Yes. These chanfe time to time and culture to culture.
>noticed you didn't actually like the style
Fine. You dont like long hair and women's clothes
>therefore trans
No. This doesnt mean youre trans. It means youre not into what currently is the style for women, and psychedelics, if anything, will usually bring these truths out of us.

It does NOT mean youre trans.

>>33213146
>people think I can't do shit for myself without someone "looking out" for me
You literally mind broke yourself trying to do things yourself and you think it has to do with gender or society, listen to your brother.

>>33213146
Ok but literally nothing you said here still points to trans. Its all just "dont like the expectations put on you because youre a girl" which is fair, and as I said in >>33222392 this is something psychedelics absolutely will bring out. But surely you can see how "i dont like how girls are treated and I dont want that on me" is not the same sentence at all as "Im a man but I was born with a vagina" right?

This is why this stuff got out of hand. Like gender dysphoria is a real thing. Its very very rare, but Its legit. This shit hit such silly insane Hollywood heights because of how it trended like this.

Youre not trans. Youre frustrated that youre a girl. And honestly fair, I won't even argue with you about that. But this is not trans.

>>33213049 (OP)

>>33220280
That's really weird to care about.
>>33222392
>>33222400
I get that none of that necessary means I'm trans, but I want to change how people treat me. If I just do tomboy stuff it's not like if I want to go get a pack of sweet tarts from the 7-11 after dark my bf's gonna let me go alone without complaints. I feel embarrassed with him and my family acting like I need an escort. I know it's because they care, I know that whole "you might be fine on your own 100 times but all it takes is one bad time to ruin your life" thing but it feels unfair how they're putting all this onnme just because of gender. Bad stuff happens to guys too, but they act like my brother's indestructible and he even came home with a black eye once. Just going "I'm a tomboy" will still have them acting the same way and making me feel like a problem or like a burden they have to deal with. I just want to feel like I'm pulling my own weight like everyone else.

>>33213049 (OP)
psychedelics make the brain malleable while active inside it
>watched music videos
checks out
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R3pfsUgtL9A

>its against my religion to defend myself
>also i wanna be an more independanter woman that dont need no mans. periodt. we buyin all da 3am sweet tarts
nice risk to rewaed ratio. you failed the first test of competence. maybe people pick up on things like this idk
this quote certaintly applies
>“Women are by nature meant to obey… they are childish, frivolous, and short-sighted.”
and in general
>“When they are not kept in check by masculine power or public opinion, women will pursue their own interests at the expense of everyone else.”
obviously the people in your life dont want to give you power that will be used against them later or opens you up to others. like how your bfs potential might scare you if he decided to “level up”. the difference is woman end up choosing the worst possible partner in a long term relationship and think being a slut is freeing

>>33213146
As another femanon, I understand. But just ignore your family. You can do whatever you want. Obviously, that creates momentary chaos, but who cares? the important thing is that you impose your will. Yes, the lack of complete independence is a disadvantage of being a woman, but it's not like being a man doesn't have its disadvantages. You would be just as miserable if you had been born a man due to inherent problems of the male gender.

>>33224539
It's not just sweet tarts, I was just using that as an example. I want to feel like I can run a quick errand without everyone in my life needing a 24/7 read on my status.

>>33225327
>Do whatever you want
>Ignore your loved ones
>It will create chaos (hurt people)
>But who cares?
>The important thing is you impose your own will over others

You understand you just recommended OP to practice narcissism right?

>>33229976
If you use short sentences to take what I'm saying out of context, of course, it will sound narcissistic. I'm not saying "cut ties with your family", just ignore certain comments that become tiresome over time. For example, I had a 25-year-old friend who wasn't allowed to go to a concert because strict religious parents, and you know what she did? she said, "Fuck it," paid for her own ticket, and went with her friend. When you have strict parents, sometimes the only way to free yourself from their iron grip is to "rebel." Parents always look out for the best interests of their children, but some can be overprotective, dramatic, and neurotic. The only way to escape that dynamic is to change your response to them. Eventually, most loosen their grip, realizing they were probably overreacting. That's what I mean by creating a "little chaos." I don't mean mistreating your parents or being a cunt with them, what OP needs to learn is when to ignore the police-like and moralistic approach that family and society can take, especially with women. Building mental strength is the key, not trooning out.