Maybe it’s some sort of silent depression or maybe something else entirely but for a long time now, I can’t seem to feel attracted to anything “physical” this world has to offer. I am fairly active physically, I have a job and I’m living a somewhat okay-ish life from a survival standpoint yet still, I don’t care for any of that, no matter how hard I try. In my head, it’s all a means of not dying and nothing else. I’m not materialistic. I hate consooming and hedonism which makes it really hard for me to find my place in this world.

I’m mostly interested in creative work, psychology, long walks in nature, soul work or general reflection and trying to understand how humans and the world around me functions. I want to mention that I’m not a turbo autist. I can hold small talk and I know how to get normies to like me (or at least, tolerate me). I can morph around their conversations or interests but befriending them also feels pointless since I know they won’t understand, let alone care about what I would have to say or offer once we are past initial stages.
So, what is there even to do? I’m comfortable on my own but I know this isn’t feasible nor really what I want. I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t feel lonely often. This world just feels so superficial that I struggle to find anything meaningful I can pour myself into so I just exist instead. Day by day.

>>33214344 (OP)
I saw this video and it struck me that maybe some depression has a relation to not having a sense of place, and that having a sense of place is necessary to having "a place to stand."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOc8ASeHYNw

>>33214344 (OP)
Explain more what you mean by 'attracted'.

Everything you're saying, including your interests in creative work, walks in nature, etc. all show a connection and attraction to the world around you.

So what is it exactly you're looking for?