I keep crashing out and I need to stop

This morning omw to work I tapped my card to enter the train station and this 50 year old man ran up behind me, to enter the gate without paying

A part of me knows this doesn’t affect me but it still pissed me off. I didn’t get up at 5:30 in the morning to support parasites like this, especially if they’re doing it in front of my face.

Me: “What are you doing? Time to get a job”
50 year old loser: “Yeah sorry I…”
Me: “Good luck in my life”

He was in fact a fucking loser but I didn’t have to say that. That’s not big dick energy

After work I went to the store to buy some cheat food for the weekend and this guy in a super loud beat up old truck driving like an idiot stopped to let me cross the road. He stopped for me but his truck was too loud and it pissed me off. We got into a staring contest and I immediately gave him the finger and yelled “fuck you!” honestly this was an autopilot response now that I think about it I don’t know why I did that

There was a time when I kept telling myself I need to speak my mind more but looks like I overdid it and I started becoming an asshole. I recognize this and I want to be nicer becsuse being nice isnt weak like I once thought, in fact it is the opposite

I’m a good enough looking guy and pretty /fit/ I get attention from girls but I dismiss them all because “I’m focusing on myself”

Ultimately I think I just need to have sex but I don’t want to go to an escort becsuse thats degenerate and I’m also trying to quit porn, havent watched that shit since like February. I just jerk off to youtube once a week

Today on the train this 5 foot nothing petite Asian woman in leggings sat beside me, awkwardly close to me facing me, she sat like we were a couple even though she had a lot of buffer room. Now all I can think about is her creamy pussy stretching on my dic

Answer me you stupid fucking fsggots

What should I do? Go to a therapist and tell them this shit? I don’t wanna lose my soul and see a sex worker

>>33217212 (OP)
>Today on the train this 5 foot nothing petite Asian woman in leggings sat beside me, awkwardly close to me facing me, she sat like we were a couple even though she had a lot of buffer room. Now all I can think about is her creamy pussy stretching on my dic
This is out of pocket as fuck. Stop listening to bbno$ and start learning how to communicate with actual people, dipshit

>>33217270
Do you have lose friends? Do you talk to non coworkers/ family members on a daily basis? I think you are getting too far into your own head and taking what you read online too literally and don't have anyone to pull you back to reality when you are going too far.

>>33217289
I don’t listen to that white boy and no cap women do weird shit to me like this often. Like eyefuck me then come stand right in front of me and start dancing shaking their ass. I’m just trying to be righteous and not look but I can’t help it sometimes

I know I come across as wilding and youre right I need to be a better and normal communicator

>>33217307
No I don’t have many friends, but I have a couple of good ones. I think my first impression is pretty unlikable to a lot of guys, I noticed a lot of them stiffen up and start staring at me hard becsuse they think I’m staring at them first. It’s weird how it happens all the time. Especially in situations where none of that should even matter. I had a guy pull a knife becsuse he thought I was following him and he was scared, dude I was just walking home. It’s really too bad. How am I going too far? Can you explain what you meant

>>33217359
>I had a guy pull a knife becsuse he thought I was following him and he was scared, dude I was just walking home

You probably need to dress better, get a normal haircut, smile more, stop being a terrifying werewolf

Your mom would have gently moved you towards normalcy if she was around, which she obviously wasn't

>>33217212 (OP)
You just sound like the typical emotionally dysregulated man
>"porn is bad" but engages in other unhealthy psychological behaviors anyway
>"casual sex is bad" but clearly already has hangups and mental shit about sex
>"just focusing on myself" but is deeply tormented internally about who you and refuses to change

Let me guess, therapy is a scam, meds are a scam, all you need to do is hit the gym and talk to your bros, do nofap and get money?
That will solve all your problems right?

You're literally the male version of a basic bitch
You're boring, uninteresting and easily manipulated

>>33217386
I got a full head of hair with a perfect hairline but I still shave my head so I can scare pussies like you on the street

Don’t talk about my mom, she is a saint. Your whore of a mom would be shaking and farting on this dick though

>>33217212 (OP)
He's stealing from you, it'd be permissible and moral to steal from him.

>>33217433
I don’t like porn becsuse I used to be addicted to it. I would jerk off 2-3 times a day to bukkake gangbang shit and it fucked with my brain. Cant you tell? Now I’ve been trying to undo that for the past couple of years. And even if I relapse from time to time I maintain porn fries your brain

I do work out all the time and do martial arts. Without it I would be literally insane. I’m not opposed to therapy but I am opposed to meds. I prefer my vitamins and supplements

Some of the things youre lashing out against are great. Being fit, money and bros. I don’t know what kind of person would be so vehemently against those things. Check your T levels maybe. And I don’t do nofap I jerk off at least once a week. I’m a firm believer that women can sense it when you don’t fap

>>33217492
People like to think that just following mainstream stuff makes you a brainwashed sheep, but when you're entire mindset is "what ever they tell me to do/like, I'll do the opposite", then you're just as easily prone to being indoctrinated

If it all it takes to get you to change your life is someone saying "the jews/the elites want you to do this, don't do that, do this instead" you're still a sheep, you're just following a different master.
You didn't arrive at any conclusion by your effort, someone else told you, and because it wasn't mainstream you believed it

Porn isn't and was never your problem, you were bored, no goals, and have a consumption/compulsion issue, porn was just how it manifested
Just look at how you act in your everyday life, you didn't solve anything, you just put your mental illness towards other things that aren't as bad as porn
People who do AA and become sober haven't gotten rid of their addictive nature, they just put their addiction and obsession towards something healthier
You didn't cure anything, you just put it in the closet

You can talk about how your life is so good money/bros whatever, but when you're obviously as much of a mental case as you are, it's very clearly not working
You're internally miserable and you're deluding yourself with bullshit snake oil salesman have pushed on you
There are people who are fatter and poorer than you are, but live fulfilling lives with wives and children, how does that make sense in your internal calculus?

Grow up and mature first, you are mentally and emotionally a 14 year old tantalized by pussy, money and bro shit, nothing fulfilling or meaningful, just tools

>>33217514
Porn was my problem. And it is for a lot of people. I was literally watching porn in front of my gf and getting her to swallow my cum when I finish at the end. I would do this every day. And I know I got issues for sure. but you sound like you are living in a sludge of your own filth cocooned by some gay pompous narcissism. Being fit and having money with a couple of bros is not the ultimate answer I never said it was. But they do help. Without them, I would be like you. I’m trying to move up not down

>>33217212 (OP)
>That’s not big dick energy
Nobody messes with Big Dick Energy. He's the meanest hombre in the west.

>>33217212 (OP)
You sound agitated, lonely, and horny. Instinctively flipping people off because their truck is loud in front of a store is not good. Is your main way of interacting with people commuting?

>>33218019
Honestly I jerked off and instantly felt a ton better. I don’t watch porn but use videos like this
https://youtu.be/-_8-_NoXml0
My problem is sexual frustration that is fuelled by my own retarded restrictions. I’m just gonna get on tinder. Problem solved. That pussy is gonna get murdered.

Now that I think about it there is nothing wrong with flipping someone off if they’re pissing me off. It is what it is. But I’ll just try to be nicer somehow. I just need to constantly remind myself. And I realize I’m posting this at the wrong place. Some people here are virgins and they sound more miserable than me, so why would I take advice from them..My life apart from the lack of pussy is good. Gonna watch the panthers vs oilers game tonight with my bros. I look around and realize I am actually okay. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. Ima let the thread die

>>33217270
>What should I do? Go to a therapist and tell them this shit?
probably

>>33217492
>>33217546
why even ask for advice if you’re going to chimp out against everyone trying to be honest with you lol

coping and telling yourself “this dude who’s giving me legit criticism is an unfit loser NEET” is pathetic as fuck

>>33217212 (OP)
Obvious NPD faggot who gets off on being unlikeable and aggressive

I was exactly like you as a teenager. It got me pussy and im married now so i dont regret it but i definitely look back on it and feel secondhand embarrassment. Stop being a fucking fag bro. Your deep insecurity is extremely obvious to everyone who talks to you. Get a girl and pipe the fuck down

>>33217212 (OP)
Block his passage. If he continues then knock him down. If he attacks then kill him. Zero tolerance for sneak-attack entrance jumpers (transit, apartment blocks).