I'm turning 25, been single for like 4 years, haven't had sex in almost 3 years. I want to improve my social life but I haven't found any of the advice I've read online to be very helpful.

I don't do any of the obvious things to avoid like excessive smoking or drinking, and I exercise and have a good job that pays well. However I'm absolutely terrified of social situations, to the point I physically tremble with anxiety whenever I have to talk to someone. I've been to several meetups and no one liked me and I never formed any lasting friendships or relationships from it.

I've become extremely depressed and suffer huge mood swings over the last few years. I've tried therapy and medication before and neither helped. Therapy was completely useless, I got no advice whatsoever and it felt like I was just paying her to listen and nod her head. I've tried several antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications and none worked, at best they only reduced the physical symptoms I was feeling but mentally I didn't feel any better.

I think I may be very high functioning autistic or have some other kind of social disorder. The symptoms I've found online seem to align with me quite a bit and I can't think of another reason everything I've tried has gone so poorly. Despite that I still desperately want to make friends and especially start a family (yes I want to reproduce even if I'm autistic) but it's becoming more difficult and seems less likely every day. I've dated and had friends before so I know I'm capable of it but it's been so long now that I'm starting to think it was just a fluke. I really don't want to die alone.

Any advice would be appreciated.

>>33218064 (OP)
ingest (your weight in kg) times (1.5mg) MDMA
hit the busiest bar/club in your area, watch yourself become a new person.
this is a one time therapy, only meant to unlock and observe what you're capable of with random people. the afterglow will last days and will be a perfect opportunity to adjust your personality.
you don't want to repeat, because this stuff literally makes you dumber with each use.

>>33218064 (OP)
Excessive drinking and smoking could earn you some friends, though they'd be troublemakers. I don't think people at meetups cared enough to dislike you, and I bet many of them—or at least people at some other meetup—would care for you if they got to know you. We don't need to win everyone. Just a few is good enough, but that can be hard to do if fear is holding you back. Ultimately you will have to overcome your issue or not overcome it, through bravery and ingenuity, through action. If you want to know what's up with your brain by looking at today's theoretical constructs, that's a job for a psychological evaluation, not yourself or some treatment provider who just nods their head. But I wouldn't recommend getting lost in philosophical rumination about your brain when you could be taking steps to overcome social anxiety.

>>33218106
does mdma better than le alcohol?
>you literally lose brain cells every dose
lmao

>>33218106
It's not even that wrong, but kinda like playing russian roulette where the bullet is the successful result and the empty chambers are some random shit that won't help at all

>>33218064 (OP)
>I'm turning 25, been single for like 4 years, haven't had sex in almost 3 years. I want to improve my social life but I haven't found any of the advice I've read online to be very helpful.

social life doesnt get you sex
get into daygame, hit on women you fancy, fuck some of them
look for tom torero on odysee
goodluck

>>33218389
yes

>>33218106
unironically good advice but also there’s a lot of potential for things to go wrong
people on MDMA sometimes have the tendency to think that everyone loves them and move into annoying/sexual harassment territory

>>33218064 (OP)
What are you telling yourself when you feel anxious? Any assumptions? Have you tried writing down these thoughts and challenging them?

From my experience with anxiety, I learned that I could never, ever, be fully prepared for it and expect a guaranteed good result. Too much of my mental resources were being directed towards getting a good result, when really my anxious thoughts were worried about what would happen if I fail. So I thought about what would happen if I failed. Eventually, I learned to welcome failure in my life as a learning opportunity. Not every mistake has to be an attack on my character, because life has so many variables that are always outside of our control. What matters is simply continuing to get back up every time life trips you over. You fall, you tend to your wounds, you learn, you get back up, and you push onward, exploring to your life's content.

>>33218064 (OP)
First of all, anon, just know it's not over yet. Think about it. There are people who never had sex before or never had a job before, so you've technically done more things than some of us here did.
I struggle also with the thoughts of whetever I'm autistic or not. As someone who began their journey of their 20's recently, I can relate to alot of the issues you're talking about, especially with socialising.
Have you tried considering making friends online then going on irl meetups with them? That's the plan I want to go forward with someday, so maybe that can help you also. Making friends online is thankfully relatively easy (albeit be careful who you hang out with).
Regarding anxiety and trembling, try talking to yourself (in a not-insaney way), as in practice your vocabulary and conversation starters, maybe that can work.
Props to the Watamote image btw. Don't give up anon, it's not over yet. I don't wanna sound cliche, but believe me I'm in a simmilar boat as you. You can do this.