I'm an impulsive retard who can't keep being sober more than a sole week.

I don't know it's all like I have that energy inside me that want to drink until I blackout'd. Also I have to add that I'm the aggressive type of alcoholic. Also my friends don't help either since they are all a bunch of fuck ups.

I do exercise and gym a lot but hell I think maybe one day my brain will turn off. It's like I'm high without being high. My uncle was bipolar and alcoholic too, I think I inherited the worst part of my family since my brothers aren't such fuck ups. Also my cousin is a schizo.

And the worst of all? I don't really wanna change, I already tried a ton but I think I will handle my good healthy life and my alcoholic side both at the same time. Since I don't have anyone living with me I think it will cause no harm to anyone.

Thanks for reading, I'm going to drink. Good day.

>>33218653 (OP)
i’m a former opiate and benzo addict

you will eventually get to the point where you genuinely want to quit, so don’t force it right now. you’ll just end up demoralizing yourself and delay the day you inevitably quit for good

think more about how embarrassing/destructive your blackouts likely are, that might do you some good

>I’m going to drink
cheers

>>33218653 (OP)
>impulsive
Terrible excuse, and a lie. It takes so many deliberate acts in order to drink, and at any point you can say "No, I won't" and avoid drinking. You can choose not to drive to the liquor store. You can choose not to park. You can choose not to get out of your car and walk in. You can choose to not pick up a bottle and take it to the counter. You can choose not to buy it. You can choose not to bring it home. You can choose not to drink it at all. You might not be able to choose so directly what your mind tells you, but your arms and legs don't move on their own, you're in control. You're an addict because you choose to be an addict every single day, you're doing it because you want to. This is who you want to be, and you can't blame it on circumstances, or genetics, or anything else. Those are exacerbating factors, but the reason you're an addict is because every day you decide to be one. Just the same, you can choose to not be one, and be something else instead. We're always doing exactly what we want to do, whether you acknowledge it or not.

Anyway, you'll do it until you can't anymore, or until you actually want to be different, and nobody can save you from yourself. Hopefully that decision comes before doing irreparable harm to your body, mind and relationships. It's literally just ethanol poisoning, it's not any different than the tards that huff galaxy gas, just a bit slower. Go nuts, promise you won't become a welfare leech when your liver and kidneys are destroyed by your choices.

>>33218653 (OP)
Hi zero