Anonymous
6/14/2025, 10:47:15 PM No.33219925
>be me
>21 years
>raised alone by a schizoprenic, combulsive, depressive, victimizing and overprotective mother
>see the cases of her overdoses, psychotic outbreaks, and how in her madness my mother became a prostitute
>seeing how I pushed everyone away from my life or people walked away from me, "claiming that they lost their trust in me", of course, as if I had to earn their fucking trust, as if I didn't have enough shit on me
>being a black man in a white third world country (Argentina)
>living with an abandoned father
>I have no job or family
>I have no food, i eat fucking giblets in stew and I'm already running out of money
>We live with my dead grandfather's retirement, which at any moment could explode and we are left with nothing (she doesn't work) and the entire salary goes into bank debts, my mother owes like +8 thousand dollars
>If that happens, my only option is to go with my father, who abandoned me to my fate, and a woman with schizophrenia, I forgive him for being an ignorant nigger, but like, I'd rather die than live with him
>Because of everything I experienced, I am sick in the head, I can't even think anymore, I went through many more traumas but they are irrelevant.
>Love doesn't exist, and if it exists, I'm too broken for it, I tried to give in to my "interracial black instincts" and stop being an incel and fuc womens, and that left me more empty, taking drugs doesn't help me, unless it's to have a fucking overdose in some case
My life is ruined, but what the fuck can I do now?
I stopped victimizing myself because no one is interested, like, I'm a man, I have to cope with everything and move on, I don't know what the hell else to feel
If I had a gun I would go on a shootout and kill myself, but, well, I'm a third world person, I'm not thinking about killing myself at the moment either but I have a plan and the necessary resources to do it, I can't give myself to religion or whatever, too late, I don't feel like it.
>21 years
>raised alone by a schizoprenic, combulsive, depressive, victimizing and overprotective mother
>see the cases of her overdoses, psychotic outbreaks, and how in her madness my mother became a prostitute
>seeing how I pushed everyone away from my life or people walked away from me, "claiming that they lost their trust in me", of course, as if I had to earn their fucking trust, as if I didn't have enough shit on me
>being a black man in a white third world country (Argentina)
>living with an abandoned father
>I have no job or family
>I have no food, i eat fucking giblets in stew and I'm already running out of money
>We live with my dead grandfather's retirement, which at any moment could explode and we are left with nothing (she doesn't work) and the entire salary goes into bank debts, my mother owes like +8 thousand dollars
>If that happens, my only option is to go with my father, who abandoned me to my fate, and a woman with schizophrenia, I forgive him for being an ignorant nigger, but like, I'd rather die than live with him
>Because of everything I experienced, I am sick in the head, I can't even think anymore, I went through many more traumas but they are irrelevant.
>Love doesn't exist, and if it exists, I'm too broken for it, I tried to give in to my "interracial black instincts" and stop being an incel and fuc womens, and that left me more empty, taking drugs doesn't help me, unless it's to have a fucking overdose in some case
My life is ruined, but what the fuck can I do now?
I stopped victimizing myself because no one is interested, like, I'm a man, I have to cope with everything and move on, I don't know what the hell else to feel
If I had a gun I would go on a shootout and kill myself, but, well, I'm a third world person, I'm not thinking about killing myself at the moment either but I have a plan and the necessary resources to do it, I can't give myself to religion or whatever, too late, I don't feel like it.
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