I (24M) was out with a group of friends last weekend, seven of us total, mixed genders, mostly college friends or friends-of-friends. The atmosphere was relatively relaxed. At one point, the conversation drifted to the topic of dating and past experiences. One of the women in the group was recounting an amusing story about a one-night stand gone wrong.

No one interrupted her. No one asked for clarification. But mid-story, she paused, looked vaguely in my direction, and said, "Not with guys like you, obviously," then laughed. Everyone else laughed too.

Now, I hadn’t said anything. I know I am not fit, and I never hit on women in public because I know it would never lead to anything. I wasn’t even reacting, just sipping my drink, nodding along. But I was taken aback. It felt like an unnecessary public disclaimer that I was sexually invalid, despite me not making any insinuation or showing interest in topics of love or sex all night.

So I said, calmly, "Just for the record, I wasn’t applying."

She went quiet. Then accused me of being crass and making things awkward. My other friend chimed in saying I’d killed the vibe and everyone else excused themselves and went home without saying good bye to me.

What the fuck are you supposed to do? I'm not in high school I won't get fucking picked on by an adult woman. I get to hang out with my friends less and less these days, how do I get people to speak up for my side of things when I've been around for much longer? Instead of treating us equally like a group of 6, she is always trying to make it like she is with the 5 and I the 1 that's just randomly around for no reason.

>>33220440 (OP)
Not sure if you did the right thing or not but i would probably have done the same, don't let people talk shit about you with no reason, like, joking around is fine and all but she was just plain rude, Lots of people like to dish it out but can't take it, those people are in my opinion, pathetic and unstable, and so are the types that excuse bad behavior.

>>33220440 (OP)
You weren't wrong but given the situation it probably would of been better to let it blow over and act like it didn't affect you.
Both responses result in your night being ruined, so what does it matter if you get the last word?- by you slamming her back it didn't make you feel any better because you killed the mood and then you doubly embarrassed yourself.
That girl fucking sucked OP and I'm sorry she took a jab at you but sometimes it's better to just suck it up curse her off in your head or to a close friend of yours privately and just move on.

>>33220440 (OP)
Sitting there and taking it would have been omega. She was vulgar and low class, having one night stands and randomly decided to insult you for no good reason. She clearly hates you and wants to make you the acceptable target and butt of her jokes because she's insecure and weak. You stood up for yourself and "killed the vibe"? Good. Kill that vibe. You deserve a better class of people than that.

Never go down to the lowest common denominator (ie: those people). Get new friends. And yes, you need to take care of yourself. You don't need to be an underwear model, but dress in clothing that flatters you, work on getting yourself to a healthy size, and keep clean cut. People will appreciate you. She is not your target audience. Good riddance.

this is fake and any of you retards too dumb that you genuinely think "Just for the record, I wasn’t applying" is an organic statement said by someone even though it sounds like it was ripped off of r/comebacks needs to be euthanized

>>33220440 (OP)
I won't read a blow-by-blow saga about your non-adventure. Get to the point next time.

>>33220678
The entire post is 300 words. The idea that that is onerous in any way is only possible in an era of Zoomer brainrot. Put Tiktok down for literally 3 minutes and it won't be a problem.

>>33220440 (OP)
There's clearly a lot of context missing here. You offhandedly say "oh by the way this woman is constantly picking on me and this is just one example". Don't you think that totally changes things? You should emphasise that more and it should be one of the first things you tell us. We probably need to know what story she was telling too and what exactly she was saying she wouldn't do with "guys like you".

Anyway, the fact she attacked you unprompted and everyone laughed along with her suggests that the group is no longer one you can hang out with. I suspect one of two things:
1. You are really awkward and trample over other people's boundaries without realising it. People don't like it and they resent it. When she said "not with people like you, obviously" she didn't mean because you're not sexually valid, she meant because you're annoying and your vibes are off.
2. You're literally hanging out with bullies who enjoy picking on you because they think you're weak. If you stand up for yourself then you kill the vibe because you ruin the fun.
Either way, I wouldn't hang out with any of them again.

You didn't do anything wrong, OP.
Honestly, you stood up for yourself in a way that they're all clearly not used to.
Don't be their punching bag, those people are not your friends.

>>33220807
About a year ago, when we were still on good terms, I texted her after she helped me through a rough week: "You’re seriously my angel, thank you." It was meant casually, like calling someone a guardian angel. She never responded and has not texted me since. A few days later, I found out she brought it up in front of two mutual friends, implying I was being emotionally clingy or romantic. I did not argue, but it made me look like a creep. That is the only time you could possibly say I did something "wrong."

The second time was at a party at her place. She lives with my best friend and another girl. One of her friends jokingly called me mysterious because I gave a vague answer to a question. She immediately cut in with, "Only because he doesn’t know how to talk to women." I had not even spoken to her that night. It felt like she had to shut down the idea that I might be interesting. Other guys said hornier things that night and did not get that kind of treatment. I let it slide since she said it in front of people I barely knew.

Last winter, we were in a group chat planning a cabin trip. Someone joked about room pairings, and she replied, "Just make sure certain people aren’t with others, don’t even joke." No one had mentioned me, and she did not name anyone, but everyone clearly knew it was "me." The conversation shifted and people started arranging things so she and I would not be near each other. It was like she had to distance herself even from the idea of being around me. I thought my friends would understand their text was misread and I was not trying to pursue her, but instead they started treating me like I needed to be managed. I keep trying to get them to set up a situation where they are around and I can socialize with her to prove I don't blush or stutter or act flirty but they just say to drop it.

No one will say anything to my face, but I am being treated as the one person who could ruin the dynamic if I am not micromanaged.

>>33220645
This probably happened and OP made up that comeback to sound like a chad to random ppl on 4chan.

>>33221023
OP here: This is essentially correct, I made it generic, the actual statement was a specific reference people in the group would get but would be more text to explain so I simplified it.

>>33220440 (OP)
next time punch the bitch in the face and break her face. blacks do this and drown in white pussy.

>>33221016
OP, for the 100th time this thread, get new friends, you deserve people who respect you.
But also you remind me of a friend of a friend who was a male BPD and constantly macking on people in the friend group even though he was married. If you listened to his side of the story it was all he-was-the-victim of a million misunderstandings but if you were in the room stone cold sober (I'm on 4chan, you'll have to trust my powers of observations of normies) you'd SEE him be awkward and pining to every asian girl in the room.
Again, I have no idea who you are, but I only have your side of the story + dozens of hours in the wild.

>>33220440 (OP)
Sounds like a decent retort to a tasteless joke.
Did you sound butthurt in your delivery? That's the only issue I can see here.
Either way they're cunts. Use them for networking then fuck them off

>>33221016
Anon it just sounds like you kept thinking of excuses not to shut down her behaviour and not to stand up for yourself. The way you show you're not into someone is by saying "what? That's really weird. Why would you say that", not by trying to...not blush in front of someone, If you keep trying to get your friends to make her hang out with you then that comes across like you're obsessed with her.

>>33220440 (OP)
You might be able to solve it in a quick and witty manner, or just laughing along and take the hit. But if no one in the group stands up for you, then you can't do much else. She obviously don't like you, and you need an ally in your group. If you don't have that, then leave it, or deal with dumb remarks like that.

>>33221016
Holy fuck, whats the point of friends if they just shit on you. You should have never let it get to this point. I don't know how people like you can take this kind of disrespect, my blood boils just reading it. A dumb bitch trying to always make you a laughing stock knowing theres no consequence to her.

>>33222800
If anything she must be infuriated that she's got to deal with this guy who she hates and which apparently nobody else likes either but no one has the balls to stop inviting

>>33221125
You expect us to believe that you, the known loser and non-entity in a friendgroup, would get a group of normies to the point they end a night out and go home with some lame reply to a jab of some chick? That this is a realistic scenario? Fucking lel.

>>33224216
They were all my friends from longer before. They've only been weird like this since she started poisoning the well. They didn't used to be like this, which is why I just need everyone to see how I am when she's around, so she can't make up this story of me being weird to her if it doesn't seem to everyone like I'm that guy.

>>33224553
Maybe those people neither like you nor her. Could it be that this evil girl is trying to hit on you and/or you on her and everybody except the two of you notices that?

>>33222782
>you need an ally in your group
This is the only post that grasps the big picture.

In social settings, the content of what is being said is always being taken in the context of who is saying it and among whom.

If you're in a group where one person can mock you and the only response from everyone else is laughter and derision, then there is nothing NOTHING you can say or do to flip the situation on its head. Everyone at the table has already decided they want this other person's approval and social validation, and value it more than they do yours. It's not tete-a-tete, a battle of wits, it's them kicking a dog (you).

There's no special combination of words you can conjure up, no witty comeback, to undo your place within the social pecking order of that group. Because the group dynamics at play are much more than your speech bubbles appearing in a vacuum.

>>33220440 (OP)
You don't want to be around these kinds of people anyway so it doesn't matter.

>>33220440 (OP)
>>33220562
Obviously we can't know what really happened, but going purely based off of what OP is saying, the double-standard of her being allowed to shit on him but him defending himself 'killing the vibe' is absolute horseshit. OP, those are not your friends.

>>33220645
The most likely scenario is that he called her a diseased whore or something and thought of the "I wasn't applying" comeback later in the shower. That said, we can only go off of what OP is telling us.

>>33220678
You're a fucking idiot and no one cares what you will or won't read, faggot. kys

>>33220440 (OP)
She's a cunt and your friend are cunts.

You don't need to be "sigma", you need to distance yourself from cunts who make rude and disrespectful jokes at your expense

Sign up to the gym and get fit. Use it as fuel to better yourself

>>33221016
Next time just ask

"Is there a reason you insult me like this?"

Turn it in her. Don't clap back, don't be clever or funny, just shine the light back on her. What a bitch

Or just ditch these people, sounds awful desu. Maybe there are some nicer ones you can see 1-1 or in smaller groups. If not then forget them.

>>33228600
You clearly don't know how to navigate a social situation properly.

>>33231757
nta but I do and only a doormat would sit there while some catty cunt talked shit on them unprovoked during a casual conversation. His "friends" aren't friends if they think he took to far by defending himself.

>>33220440 (OP)
You did everything you needed to do. She started the battle and you responded with force.
>It felt like an unnecessary public disclaimer that I was sexually invalid, despite me not making any insinuation or showing interest in topics of love or sex all night.
It's because they don't respect you and your only use socially is to be an entertainment piece. No one likes you there enough to stick up for you.
>Then accused me of being crass and making things awkward. My other friend chimed in saying I’d killed the vibe and everyone else excused themselves and went home without saying good bye to me.
They're not your friends, especially if they take the side of someone who initiated the fight. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I don't know you but I think you're the type of person to be respectful to others as long as they return the same attitude. You are vindicated of any wrongdoing.
>how do I get people to speak up for my side of things when I've been around for much longer? Instead of treating us equally like a group of 6, she is always trying to make it like she is with the 5 and I the 1 that's just randomly around for no reason.
You don't. They're not really your friends, more like acquaintances you occasionally hang out with. That's on them to speak up for you. If you don't, you know where their true intentions and loyalties lie. Get new friends.
>>33231757
This is an example of a gaslighting shitstain which cries out when someone has the audacity to retaliate against their punches.

>>33220440 (OP)
your mistake was hanging out with subhuman normies in the first place. get new friends

>>33220768
this is a bot saying this to every post here

>>33220440 (OP)
if this isnt a larp, that's actually a pretty good comeback
witty and not THAT offensive

the fact that everyone laughed with her when she insulted you is however a sign you should probably be looking for new friends

>>33220440 (OP)
I kek'd IRL at this. If not a LARP then yeah, your "friends" view you as subhuman.

>>33231757
>t. cuck who lets people walk all over him talking about navigating social situations

>>33231757
"Navigating social situations properly" is letting people walk all over you? You're the autistic moron who clearly doesn't know how to do that. kys, socially-stunted doormat

>>33221016
Just for reference, as a male I have probably two female friends total that I would ever talk about serious life situations with. Both of these women I've known for 15+ years, so there's no nonsense or bullshit that can be misconstrued from it.

In my humble opinion, my suggestions to you are:
A) never confide in women, do that with men so there's less drama that can be manufactured from it. It's not me trying to sound sexist, it's just inviting trouble by doing what you did. If you got issues you go to a therapist or one of your close bros or maybe here.
B) if people are treating you as the "problem friend", you've lost face with your group and they do not see you as an equal. Face can be gained back but it takes breaking norms and not hanging out with those people for long periods until they reach out (if they even reach out).
C) a lot of the shit that they do shouldn't even be reacted to, there's no point because your former friends are just trying to get a rise out of you to validate their viewpoint about you.
D) I agree with the others that these people may have once been your friends but they don't act like it anymore so I wouldn't waste energy on them. Stuff like this doesn't just happen overnight so I'm sure there's a big history with them and you, but take the losses, reflect on weird situations and move forward from it.
E) don't let people disrespect you that you have a mutual disrespect for, in public. I'm not saying punch her skull in for slighting you, but example here, asking her to repeat her joke because you didnt hear it (when you did) is a good shit test to see if she doubles down on her being cruel. Sometimes some of that can have the more neutral/grounded friends backpedal a bit, seeing how much of a bitch she's being to you in the moment. But if no one reacts, then you definitely know you're not among friends anymore.