Like could you get rid of your mommy kink by fixing the relationship with your mother and resolving all the associated trauma (just an example)? I noticed that a lot of my strongest kinks/fetishes are related to some kind of "trauma" or whatever you want to call it, they are like sexual coping mechanisms or something. Is this just how fetishes work for everyone?

>>33221242 (OP)
No, you dissolve bad habits by turning your attention to something else when the trigger to the sequence of thoughts and actions appears.

>>33221242 (OP)
There’s no way to “get rid” of a fetish, despite what some forums will tell you.
The current science states that fetishes are usually developed in childhood and are an innate part of a person’s sexuality. Similar to sexual orientation, it’s not something that can be changed.
Also talk to a therapist or something and determine if it actually qualifies as a fetish, not something you enjoy but something you can't live without and feel a compulsion every time you're horny


The only things you can do is to either (1)reframe your thinking of it to something healthier in that since no one is being hurt and no crimes are being committed it's not a big deal or something, (2)don't stop it just limit it to certain times, (3) or to somehow understand yourself so well you can introspect deep into your psyche and radically become mature and wise without having an ego about it such that you no longer feel a need to engage with that fetish without forcing yourself or causing other mental problems because you have completely overcome your past without abandoning it or forgetting about it

Many young guys age 18-24 have mommy fetishes because they feel like losers and are insecure about everything and the mommy fetish connects with them not only the physical level but on the emotional level making them feel safe in a sexual encounter. Once these men have self actualized to become functioning members of society, they don't need to invoke that image to feel secure and safe in a sexual situation

>>33221396
>There’s no way to “get rid” of a fetish, despite what some forums will tell you.
>Many young guys age 18-24 have mommy fetishes because they feel like losers and are insecure about everything and the mommy fetish connects with them not only the physical level but on the emotional level making them feel safe in a sexual encounter. Once these men have self actualized to become functioning members of society, they don't need to invoke that image to feel secure and safe in a sexual situation
Sounds contradictory man

>>33221242 (OP)
Probably, yeah. Fetishes are exciting because of the intense feelings associated with them.
Once you eliminate those feelings, you'll realise how gross and retarded they are

In my personal experience, I had a formative and long lasting fetish that only dissolved due to emotional trauma when actually experiencing the act.

But I don’t enjoy even the idea of sex or intimacy now, so I don’t recommend this process.

Careful, the fucking algorithms will incept you with a link if you’re not careful. I was listening to trans musical artists and started getting ABDL youtuber content.

>>33221242 (OP)
My stupid fetishes have essentially destroyed my life. I hate them so much. I have resolved to never indulge them again and actively fight against allowing my mind to wander to them. I would rather shoot myself than allow them to emerge ever again. I fucked up so much good by not having an iron lock on my psyche. Never again

>>33221455
NTA, and I've read none of the research being referenced, but I'm assuming the point is there's a difference between
>I need my kink to fulfill a fundamental emotional need that wasn't fulfilled elsewhere
and
>It just makes my dick hard

>>33222170
i’m curious to know more. think you’ll ever forgive yourself? could you try?

>>33222174
No and no. There is a very good chance that the path that was set in motion will eventually lead to my utter demise. I'm talking about everything taken from me and being disowned by everyone I care about and completely ostracized. It is almost funny how just dirty talking while drunk can be so fucking catastrophic to your own life. I might pre-emptively off myself just to escape the sword of damacles hanging over my head. I never thought my life so tenuous as it has turned out to be.

>>33222182
Was it a rape kink, some bodily fluid kink, or actual pedo shit? You’re writing it out like it’s a sin.

>>33222186
None of those. But it was bad. I didn't even mean it in the way she thought, but not like she will ever listen to me. I already took a massive physical and emotional beating, and am essentially being shut out and blackmailed. I wish I had just fucking never gotten drunk and kept everything under wraps forever.

>>33222192
Dumb fucking moid. Only grills can ever be open about their sexuality, emotions, or problems. Stupid men should shut up and die. Learn your place, trash

>>33222201
dude, shut up and go somewhere. We’re talking.

>>33222192
Pretty curious. It makes sense that a second person being involved made it into a more complex situation.


Doesn’t sound like you had intentions to hurt anyone and doesn’t sound like you did, except maybe yourself.

Sounds like you tried to reveal something about yourself that you trusted the other person with. Can’t blame yourself for wanting to be vulnerable.

Sounds like a painful experience though.

Keep feeling curious, was it a cuck kink? Something gay? If I guess right, would you say? I’m poking at wounds here, sorry.

But I almost wonder if it wasn’t that seriously bad and you’re unnecessarily heaping shame and guilt onto yourself. What’s done is done man.

Have you changed what it takes to fix whatever you needed to fix?

>>33222220
You have not hit on what it was, no. That said, I have no interest in revealing it. I would say that it is actually not to uncommon amongst men and not even super rare among women. That said, people who aren't into it hate it. I'm not actually even into the actual idea of doing it for real, it was just drunk dirty talk. My sex life has actually been very boring and vanilla. I'm a man who has only had sex with 2 women ever, and have been with this woman for the past 14 years before I let it slip. The rest of the time we have been together I just acted how I thought she wanted me to act, both in and out of bed. I should have stuck to that. I fucked up bad. Crazy to think how my life as I know it literally hangs in the balance on the grace of a woman who now says she hates me and wants to see me suffer and die.

I am fucking done for.

>>33221396
What if you cannot have an erection without it? It's even worse if it's an impossible fetish due to it being unattainable by nature for things such as core or a giantess fetish, what should that person do? Genuine question

>>33222227
Let this be a lesson to all men. Being vulnerable or opening up to any women at all, ever, in any context, is a heinous and potentially fatal mistake. Actually, not just women, being vulnerable to anyone is a mistake. Better to be lonely than to have those you care about turning on you and actively working toward your demise. Sad that this guy had to find out the hard way.

>>33222227
That is downright bewildering. What can be that bad that I haven’t already listed? Beastiality?

Alright, nonetheless.
>The rest of the time we have been together I just acted how I thought she wanted me to act, both in and out of bed.

Was it how you wanted to act? Were you just performing for her? Maybe it’s a good thing you broke free of needing that performance.

Hope she lets sleeping dogs lie and doesn’t wreck your life I guess. Can’t see how she would have evidence of any wrongdoing just because of a drunken confession.

>>33222233
Yeah, vulnerability always comes with associated risks. We’ve all got secrets, and no one exists without some buried shame.

But what better way to succeed than to keep trying?

>>33222229
Idk, I can usually force myself to get an erection and perform when needed, despite however I feel physically or emotionally. It is my duty to please my woman, after all.

I don't know how to deal with those kind of fetishes as I don't possess them. My bullshit was theoretically very physically possible, just practically impossible for social reasons. All I'm saying is you would be surprised just how fast a noose can start to look friendly.

>>33222229
This guy gets it. Take heed and learn from my fuck up. I'd give anything to go back and stop myself from ever showing any type of vulnerability or especially erotic honesty. A man's sexual and emotional idiosyncracies are a burden and a shame to be hidden from the world. The male fantasy of being known, accepted, and loved is folly and a ridiculous pipe drean for most men on Earth. Hide your shame instead of baring it, and do your best to eradicate it within yourself.

>>33222239
I didn't *do* anything wrong, per se. You are misunderstanding me if you think that I *did* anything. Maybe a girl telling the same thing to your family about you would have no effect on your life, but in my circumstances, with my family being as they are, it will absolutely take everything from me.

>>33221242 (OP)
>Like could you get rid of your mommy kink by fixing the relationship with your mother and resolving all the associated trauma
Yes, it's possible, but it will take a lot of hard work. For me at least 3 years.

>>33222227
Just dump the bitch and let her do what she will. If she tells people, just remind her there's a fetlife page for it and people do it safely all the time.
Don't let bitches control you

>>33222170
>>33222257
YOU WANNA GET DOMINATED DON’T YOU?
Exhausted of having to play male all the time, huh?