Met up with a girl from Hinge earlier in the week who was not only exactly my type but also really clever and interesting. I was a bit nervous because I don't get a lot of opportunities to meet women so I usually am, but this girl was so incredible that I couldn't help it.
Anyway afterwards I tried to move off the app because I felt the vibe was still okay. After that she unmatched me.
Don't know what to do anymore, I'm 29 and this has been happening for my whole life. I maybe go on one date a year. I have interesting hobbies, a professional career with a great salary, I'm well-read and well-spoken and well-groomed, exercise regularly, etc. On paper I'm ticking all the boxes, at least that I know of.
I just feel like giving up. There's obviously no-one out there for me and it feels like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me for all these years. Every time I get a tiny chance and feel hope, I get sucker-punched in the gut.
Don't even know why I'm writing this, tell me to kms I guess.

>>33221817 (OP)
Keep trying

Frustrated from a hinge date too. I don't have an answer for you. If you think about it, you just have to get it right once right? If you're like me you should take a breath snd take things less seriously because otherwise you're gonna keep being disappointed. Everytime i open myself up i end up regretted it. You'd think I'd have learned by now

>>33221827
That's what I mean. I was trying to be nonchalant about it too but I can't help it. I just want someone to like me but obviously this is too tall an ask. I wasn't even trying to take things seriously, I was just nervous because she was insanely cute. how can I ever get over this if I only have like 1 chance a year? If I were going out with a different girl every night of the week then ofc I would be so much more chill about it.
>>33221823
Why? at this point why shouldn't I just kms

This sort of blog posting is reinforcing your self programming unless you are aware of yourself experimenting with neurolinguistics. But since you said yourself you don't know why you are writing your blog post you still have years to go before you can undo this damaging self talk and be liberated from self fulfilling prophetic assumptions. On paper you should just have one box to tick and that is 'i don't give a fuck'

>>33221884
I have also tried very hard to remove this part of myself for several years and broadly succeeded except for this one specific thing. I used to feel like this pretty much all the time but now it's only when reality slaps me in the face. I have built an otherwise unassailably strong persona. But I just can't do it with women. In my job and socially I look pretty confident and funny but I can never seem to get over this.

i’m being hypocritical by asking this bc i’ve been on 4 dates total in my life and we’re the same age, but how often are you asking people out?

do you have weird or unreasonable expectations for a partner? are you kinda meh or socially awkward?

I'm no expert, just a regular guy. That said, frankly it boils down to a few possibilities.

1.) You're either lying or overestimating yourself.

2.) You're trying too hard.

3.) Your dating pool is dog shit because of your location.

4.) You're switching into simp/pamper mode when you get a match.

5.) You're not being yourself.

Good luck, this dating pool sucks. Just go full retard, honestly

>>33222172
in person, not very often. I don't have hobbies that facilitate me meeting people and I'm not really interested in those that do. There's a live music scene in my city but I don't know how to get into it and desu I feel like I'm way too old for it anyway.
I wouldn't say I have weird or unreasonable expectations, the only hard requirements are that she is the same race as me (white) and younger than about 25 (I want to have a big family some day). I am usually pretty sociable but around girls I just collapse.

>>33222179
1. I'm not lying; my hobbies attract attention at parties and I'm a top 5% income earner for all age brackets in my country. I'm average looking though.
2. Maybe, but how else do you get attention on a dating app as a normal dude?
3. I live in the second-largest city of my country (pop. ~6m) so unlikely
4. Probably this, but I have no prospects so it's hard not to.
5. Do my best at this one but because of 2/4 it's hard until I can open up and relax a bit.

>>33221817 (OP)
Thats how it goes sometimes. Dating sucks. Like 99% of us have the same struggle as you. Eventually it works out.

>>33222464
I've been at this for >10 years. Nothing ever changes. It's not gonna work out. All my friends have already found partners and gotten married and started having children. I'm the only one left alone.

>>33222532
If I were you, genuinely at this point id reach out honestly to past girls and ask what happened.
Explain you have a lot of struggles with dating and you need an honest real answer to help you in the future. You'd be surprised how helpful people can be if youre genuine (and you dont give them impression youre after a second shot)

But dude honestly, in all my life, in everyone I've known, in everything I've experienced even (I had lots of trouble with women until I was like 30), if you are able to get a woman to a point youre actually out on a date with them, its probably something so stupid and minor and fixable. Like they'll all point to something you said they thought was ovrrsharing, or you try to hard to be funny, or you wore something retarded, or you hold doors open and say "mademoiselle" or something gay.

Just some common critical point youre not aware of.

I knew a woman who was a solid 9/10 and we dated and I dropped her cause her voice was just insufferably shrill. I admit I Didn't have the heart to tell her, but she did complain she had a lot of trouble with men and didn't know why. I knew.

Anyway, guess who suddenly started talking softer and now is married. Someone told her.

I'll repeat if youre getting to the date, face to face, in person, its something stupid and fixable.

>>33222532
>>33222707

Oh and
>I struggled
I overshared too early, complained too much and emotionally invested too hard too fast.

>>33221817 (OP)
Sorry that happend to you bro. Perhaps you're a little autisic and say/do inappropriate things too early in the relationship or you're not being yourself right from the get go. Women like genuine, confident men, who know what they like even if you're into something uncool or "cringe", if you're confident about what you're into they usually find it hot.
t. ponyfag
On the other hand it's possible that she received a like from a chad and ditched you for him; for most women looks matter way more than earnings or social status.
I'm 30 and only recent entered the dating scene and man, even though I'm tall, fit and above average looks yet it's still tough. I'm now with a gorgeous girl with a great personality, and though I had to wait a while to find her she's well worth the wait.
Good luck dude

>>33222729
Look I honestly don't think so, usually I do a pretty good normie impression when I first meet people. But it's different with women, I just lose my shit. I think I just build it up in my mind because the opportunities are so infrequent and then that really fucks with my mental. I just seem nervous and weird.
>>33222707
I've had relationships with women before but I didn't consider those women seriously, one bc of her race (Asian) (I don't have anything against Asian girls, they're cute, but I want my kids to look like me), the other one bc of her body count. I just considered it a bit of fun really. So I'm not totally dead with girls. But I met both of these ones through mutuals, not through dating apps. I think the issue is the dynamics of the dating apps but I really don't have any other vehicle for meeting people. My hobbies, although interesting, are solitary, and I like it that way. I don't really like things that other people like.

>>33221817 (OP)
Keep going. You must meet and talk to enough women that you're no longer as nervous.

>>33223267
>Keep going. You must meet and talk to enough women that you're no longer as nervous.
This^
Also treat women as people, not like they're another species or something, the key is building trust and showing that you truly care and listen, remember little things like her favorite color, what drink she likes. When they know they're actually being listened to they really appreciate it

>>33221845
>I was just nervous because she was insanely cute.
You're trying for chicks out of your league. You might have the looks that are at the lower end of what those women would consider (that's why you get the date) but lack the personality to finally convince these women to meet you again.

>>33223267
I am sure this is true but as I mentioned above, that's not possible. I simply don't encounter enough women for this to be the case. I'm sure I'd be much more chill if I were seeing 2 different girls a week instead of 1 every year and a half.
>>33224072
Yeah I know that shit, doesn't matter if you can't get past the first date. I've dated women for stretches of ~12 months before. The issue is getting my foot in the door.
>>33224232
In this case maybe but her profile certainly didn't indicate this. It wasn't until I met her in person that I found that she was unfathomably beautiful.

>>33225231
What are your other hobbies and interests? You must meet them somehow.

>>33225714
My hobbies are mostly solitary; I am a hobbyist brewer/distiller so I make my own spirits and cider. I also play the Native American Flute, I'm learning piano, and I speak Japanese (not a huge weeb, just a minor one). I lift weights every day as well so I'm not out of shape or anything.

I basically don't meet women, no. Once in a blue moon I'll match with one on a dating app who will give me enough rope with which to hang myself, like this time. Otherwise it's only via work (don't shit where you eat) and the very rare house party I attend.

>>33225231
>I've dated women for stretches of ~12 months
How the fuck are you dating them for that long and not getting past the first date? Your first date should happen within 3 weeks of first talking to her, tops. You mention that you're well groomed, do you actually shower before a date, do you wear deodorant? Do you pick your nose or some shit? I unironically have aspergers and have no issues with getting dates or talking to women. To not get past the first date you must be doing something seriously wrong dude; is there something you're not telling us?
>I tried to move off the app
Some women are reluctant to give their phone number early on, I'm pretty sure my now gf purposely mistyped her number when she first gave it me, after another week (and me mentioning it) she gave me her correct number.

>>33227593
Sorry maybe I didn't explain it well enough. I mean I've had what you might describe as relationships before but I wasn't serious about them so they didn't go anywhere long-term. These girls I went out with often and we had sex on and off for this time period. I guess y ou could call it a situationship.

and yeah I usually wait until after i've met them in person before I escalate off-app. In this case obviously that failed.

>>33226356
Women who might find you interesting:
>hipsters
>alcoholic women
>hippies and wiccans
>band girls
>weebs
>gym girls but more the homely variant
Have you tried finding your niche? What was your last girlfriend like? Normally one figures out that there's a certain type of women who clicks well with you, looks and character wise. You should actively look for those types of women.

>>33228066
Think you aren't understanding the problem. What I hear is "Here are the sorts of women you should chose from from amongst the women that you meet." I don't have an opportunity to meet women. It's like asking a starving man to choose his favourite flavour of ice cream. The choice is irrelevant, there are no options.

>Have you tried finding your niche?
Don't know what you mean
>What was your last girlfriend like?
If you don't count the two situationship girls the only girlfriend I've ever had was in high school. She was kind of a nerd I guess. I'm pretty open-minded about what her personality would be like but if pressed I'd say I like arty girls. But as I said, I don't think my preferences factor into it.

>>33222729
>On the other hand it's possible that she received a like from a chad and ditched you for him;
lol it's likely this OP
I went out with some girl from okcupid. Date was a bit awkward, was sure she was getting the ick, but then when I walked her to her car I kissed her and then we kept kissing. For like a full 2 or 3 minutes. Then I asked if she wanted to sit in her car for a moment, since she didn't pull away and kept kissing, and she said "not on the first date" assuming wanted to fuck. I just mean kiss more but I didn't say that. Went home and 2 days later she unmatched me and didn't reply to my text message asking her out so I sssume she blocked my number.
Either she got offended thinking I was trying to fuck, or she met a Chad guy. If she wanted to fuck me I think she wouldn't be that mad.

>>33228141
>I'm pretty open-minded about what her personality would be like but if pressed I'd say I like arty girls.
Defining what you look for makes your search more efficient. Now you're relying on chance. That doesn't work. As you described. Women are not just showing up and jump on your dick. If I were you I'd look for profiles of artsy girls on certain websites and start to strike up convos there. Also on the apps you use state specifically how that girl should be (not just IDK, I'll take any wet hole!) Since you say you maybe have one or two dates a year, you don't seem to put much effort into looking for women (compare that to your lifting weights every day - I am sure you see more results in that respect?). Narrow down your target audience and intensify your efforts. That's what I mean by niche: The small amount of women who wait for specifically your type as a boyfriend.