I grew up with my mom telling me how even the best men are awful if you get close to them, because my dad had been abusive. I internalized it and made a point of not ever getting close to guys.

I started dating as a lesbian, not really out of being attracted to women but more out of wanting companionship and not wanting the abuse I'd come to expect from men. My girlfriend reinforced that a lot, and I'm still having trouble shaking the sense that men are just waiting for a chance to hurt me.

This guy in one of my classes has helped me, when another guy was following me around and being creepy. He scared the guy off, and has covered for me a few other times, and I ended up talking to him even though I worried it was a bad idea.

We've been talking kind of regularly after classes every day, and I've started looking forward to seeing him and the feelings there are more than just friend feelings for sure. I feel awful to say it, but I'm worried I might be straight and I don't want to hurt my girlfriend like that. Even if I'm not a lesbian she's probably my closest friend and I don't want to bring her pain.

I'm wanting to just bury the feelings I've been feeling for this guy, and I've been trying to put more distance between us but it's been hard to stick to that distance.

For my conscience's sake, is there a good way to avoid hurting my girlfriend while moving on to trying things with this guy? Or is the right thing to do just shutting out those feelings and sticking with her?

1. Men aren't awful, they're just human. You can say that humans are awful but the individual person matters.
2. Be nice and thankful to the guy that helped you. Don't mistake those feelings for love. You will make bad decisions because you don't sound like you're practicing making judgments about people.

Jesus, what a pathological parents can do to a kid. Maybe there is still a chance for you.

Just tell your dyke friend that you have feelings for opposite gender and that you want to explore those feelings, she should also do that btw. Companionship with a dyke, spending life with a roomate basically, what a waste.

One thing is for sure, some men are bad and some are good, most are in between, but all dykes are crazy.

You want to feel safe, and its set up that the "easiest" way for a woman to do so is with a male. It's not about sexuality but more that you dont believe in your ability to protect yourself nor your gf protect you in a world you were told is full of evil abusers who happen to only respect other males.
God has a beard, as marketed. Women must prove themselves or be culled is the message.
Go be with whomever, but beware the brainwashing to forget your true power.

>>33224295 (OP)
>For my conscience's sake, is there a good way to avoid hurting my girlfriend while moving on to trying things with this guy?
Absolutely none, no.
>Or is the right thing to do just shutting out those feelings and sticking with her?
No. The right thing to do is to break up with her, even if it hurts her.

Imagine for a moment that the roles were reversed: you were head over heels in love with her, but she was secretly straight and didn't feel the same way about you. Wouldn't you want her to tell you the truth so you could break up and find someone who actually loves you the way you love them? Don't you think your girlfriend deserves better than to spend her entire life with someone who never really liked her and just lied about it her whole life?

>>33224295 (OP)
>Or is the right thing to do just shutting out those feelings
However many times you've done this should have told you whether that works or not.
You're a girl, you're fundamentally different than men. Not as much as you think, but more than you want to admit.

You behave like a child still. And that's really not likely to change by being more "adult" in breaking this off with your friend. And that's all she is to you.

It's fine being friends with someone, it's sick being with them because they're "safe." Statistically, the most domestic violence happens in lesbian relationships.

Life isn't safe either - just be with the guy and accept your feelings or hers or his or everyone's are gonna get fucked up. You're over-empathizing, you can't force people's emotions through planning like they're a character in a visual novel.

Also whoever told you to feel awful for being straight is a piece of shit. There's nothing wrong with being normal, and it's entirely normal to be straight, it's biological reality.

You have hormones for this guy, you wanna do it, and he's either a good guy or not, and you need to use your senses - not other people's opinions of what your senses should be, but your actual senses, to make a choice that's on you, because it's always on you to make these choices.

So own the fuck up, take some agency, and decide what you want. My idea of normal shouldn't matter, nor should anyone else's to you, just go for what you want and accept that you'll never make a perfect choice.

>>33224295 (OP)
now you gotta help your dyke friend get a bf. really fucked up with this