How do I become more tolerant of autism?

It's becoming a barrier between myself and acquaintances that I would like to see as friends. There's an autistic person in the group, and I can't stand them. They cannot tolerate the conversation being something they don't have an interest in, they have no volume control, they make awkward and uncomfortable comments in public, and the other four people are great. But this one autist makes it constantly uncomfortable.

I've done a bit of reading about autism, but it hasn't helped me tolerate or appreciate it at all. Some of the facts are downright concerning. I've seen there's a great deal of 'variation' in autism, with some people being utterly non-verbal with it. But even the high functioning ones that are supposed to be able to fit in with society... there seem to be real issues around empathy in autistic people. If I hypothetically introduced myself to a group with 'Hey I have antisocial personality disorder and an am an empathy devoid psychopath' they'd freak, but apparently it's ok if it's autism instead?

Looking for any insights.

>>33226013 (OP)
Sometimes you have to be the guy who tells him off, particularly with the odd comments. Don't worry about the volume control, if he has even an ounce of social awareness he is likely embarrassed about that. The art of being a good listener or background participant is something he will have to learn if the topic isn't interesting to him.

>>33226013 (OP)
it's normal to feel rejection to autism, they are defects and defects are usually eaten by their moms to recover at least a bit of the wasted resources, in the past I guess they just let it wander into the forest to be eaten by wolves or something.

>>33226025
I'm not really 'in' the group enough to do that right now. I did it once, and I got glared at by like 3 of them and the autist said 'I can't help it, I've got autism,' which seems to be the catch all for their inappropriate behaviour.

>>33226041
It's just embarrassing to be around them a lot of the time. Who wants to go to McDonalds and have pissed off parents glaring at you because the autist is loudly talking about cow dicks 10 feet away from their kids? I'm trying to be tolerant of their needs, I like most of the people in this group, but how can they not see that what they're saying is fucking weird?

>>33226013 (OP)
Find a way to kill them and get away with it

>>33226117
Yeah, no, fuck him, i'm a diagnosed speeglord and that's him being a shitty person and hiding behind the diagnosis. It's meant to help understand who you are and learn coping strategies/know where you need to work harder than average, it's not an excuse to be such an asshat.

>>33226013 (OP)
start making new friends

>>33226013 (OP)
>'Hey I have antisocial personality disorder and an am an empathy devoid psychopath' they'd freak, but apparently it's ok if it's autism instead?

Because autists have empathy, ASPDs don't. Autists suck at externally expressing empathy, but that doesn't mean they don't have it. They have it, they have hyper empathy in fact. But the twist is it's buried underneath poor communication & low theory of mind (ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes). So it appears as no empathy, but once an autist actually relates to someone else's experience after living it themselves, then the empathy unlocks.

ASPDs don't have empathy internally or externally, it's not something they can feel even if they really wanted to.

>>33226013 (OP)
>>33226253
Yeah, agreeing with this guy in saying that people who use autism as an excuse for every single one of their bad behaviors are simply annoying.

Autism doesn't in any way denote personality, that's something that grows and gets (sometimes) worse as if people aren't told that they're being annoying as frick throughout their life then they'll simply continue to be annoying. I've known people who haven't taught their kids a single thing about being a decently behaved person simply because they have the excuse of autism to fall back on. It's getting quite hecking annoying honestly, speaking as a huge goddamn autist here.

In short, an asshole is an asshole with or without the autism.

>>33226013 (OP)
Don't bother. That person deserves to be around better people than you.

>>33226013 (OP)
> Be me
> Be autistic
> Work my ass off every day to be normal

Look people have it different levels of bad but in the modern world that shit is just tolerated, the best thing you can do for these people is make them work to get it right. I still don't understand a lot of stuff....it's like watching aliens talk some times but I still work.

I think a lot of people use Hank Hill as the example, he is clearly an odd bird but is considered the icon of normality.... Thanks to hard work and self control.

>>33226013 (OP)
The insight you need is that you are stupid. What is the purpose in complaining about someone's neurodevelopmental problem? They can't change it.

>>33226013 (OP)
As someone who was exactly like this until my circumstances (and weed) forced me to grow up and go to therapy, they've probably been emotionally neglected and mistreated their entire life by everyone around them, never had empathy modeled for them, don't think it's safe to connect to people or listen to people due to being taken advantage of in the past, and live in a chronically dissociated state where they think they have to "perform" like a jester in order to be liked and tolerated.

Which isn't your burden to deal with, but if you're just going to be part of that cycle then do them a favor and stay out of their life.

>>33226013 (OP)
Have you tried being a complete human being instead of your social mask?
>b-but he is making me uncomfortable!
try being aware of reality next time and you won't get triggered by the truth

and talk like real human beings instead of literal NPCs!

>how are you
>good. you?
>also good.
>anything interesting happened on the weeked
>yes i went out with friends
>how was it
>fun
>did you stay out long?
>no i had to wake up early next
>oh ok
AND THIS GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND THEY EXPECT ME TO NOT GO INSANE

>>33226013 (OP)
Being autistic sucks but desu i don't think we deserve better. We are defective and masking is our lifelong tribulation as penance for being a defective. The isolation is deserved and thats why we have to fight against it so hard. Dont even get me started on trying to tolerate other autismos

>>33226025
>if he has even an ounce of social awarenes
Bro he's autistic lmao

>>33226013 (OP)
If the cunt has no volume control and can't stay on topic in public don't bother.
I have autism but I don't do that shit. He's probably too disabled for normal human interaction.
>there seem to be real issues around empathy in autistic people.
True in your perspective. In mine, people feel unjustified emotions purely because it's a habit, and they act like they're morally right to do so. I do not let that be my problem.
"If I hypothetically introduced myself to a group with 'Hey I have antisocial personality disorder and an am an empathy devoid psychopath' they'd freak"
True, but that's not your problem, it's theirs. There is actually very little preventing you from being honest; the average person doesn't want to start shit.

It's like asking how you can love a dog or cat destroys a gift your girlfriend gabe you. You see from them coming back to you they still love you and want what is best for you. If you're a no-nonsense guy this is kinda difficult if you especially just want someone that intellectually stimulates you or helps you get sex or maybe gives you access to places that surprise you like accessing a dark web site. Anon, if you want the answer don't think it, feel it from your heart.

>>33226117
>how can they not see that what they're saying is fucking weird?
We know; we don't care.
When we say we don't know that it's weird, what we mean is we have no idea why you have a problem with it, and thus we have no reason to follow your needs and desires.

>What is the purpose in complaining about someone's neurodevelopmental problem? They can't change it.
There are aspects you cannot alter and aspects you can. Stop playing dumb.
Furthermore, some of the parts you can't change make you unsuitable or ineffective for what other people are trying to do, and they're justified in filtering you on that basis.

>>33237349
>if you want the answer don't think it, feel it from your heart
Does that actually work?

>>33237364
I take it you feel like he is ruining your chance of having sex with your crush who is very hot.