I feel like my confidence is absolutely shot to pieces. From what I gather, confidence is built up over years and years of POSITIVE wins. You don't build confidence via failing. I fail consistently at a lot of things. So rightfully my confidence is shot to hell. What I have found is that super confident people have had massive success streaks that sort of build this wall of defense against failure. So even if they fail, they don't won't feel it as badly. Whereas my wall of confidence doesn't exist. I always feel like I am bothering everyone and I always feel incapable and I always feel like I can never make the right decision in a moment that requires a decision. As a man, confidence is probably even more important and I don't have it. So in what ways can it be built and how do you maintain it? I honestly can't even fathom how some people are so confident because confidence to me is just arrogance. How can you ever honestly say "I am the best one here at this." and believe it. To me, I can never say that because in my mind, the person better than me at whatever is right next door. Like what is the difference between arrogance and confidence?

>>33230411 (OP)
Actually, confidence comes from even just one success. Consider it a proof of concept: it means you can do it, and all that remains is to refine your game.

>>33230411 (OP)
Fake it till you make it baybeee. Pretend like youre hot shit and all your decisions are based and cool and that everyone who has a problem with you is gay. And also Pretend like you're excited to meet everyone and you talk to them like theyre your friend.
Eventually you'll actually kinda believe youre pretty cool and people might start actually liking you because you seem happy and pleasant to be around. Then you might actually have some earned honest confidence.

>>33230411 (OP)
just don't fucking whine it's not hard

you can be an asshole and a loser, you can feel bad about, but don't tell other people and women about it

>>33232962
This anon confidences

>>33230411 (OP)
Confidence is allowing failure while knowing the failures are necessary steps towards success. You also need a goal. If a man has no goals, he can never get confidence, merely pretend and lie to himself that he has it.

To be confident you need something to be confident in. Ex: "I am confident I will build this shed. I dont have the money for it yet or the wood, or the skill, but I will get the money to buy the wood, I will try and fail and learn the skill, then I will build that shed."

That's confidence, that's what it looks like. It requires a goal. Because no one can be confident 24/7 over nothing. Confidence has a specific purpose in life, a bit like a tool, and it's purpose is to get shit done. If there's no shit to do (no goal) then confidence doesn't come.

>>33233135
>Cont

If you meet someone who claims "I am the best at XYZ" you're talking to an egotist. Egotism =/= confidence. Egotists sometimes have merit for their bloated pride, sometimes they genuinely are great at something, but their lack of competition gives them the delusion they are the best. They eventually get humbled.

And if you meet someone who claims to be the best, and they do not have a single achievement or notable quality to their personality and nothing to show for it, you're talking to a narcissist. Similar to the egotist except they have nothing backing up their grandiose self identity. Narcissism =/= confidence either.

In both cases, the egotist & the narcissist make the mistake of believing confidence is about identity. It's not. Confidence is about process. The truly confident men out there out faith in processes, not identities.

>>33230411 (OP)
>How can you ever honestly say "I am the best one here at this." and believe it.
easy.
cocaine.