>have angry, hateful, violent impulses
>strongly resonate with others who show anger and hurt people
>meanwhile, feel fear of those people because those same impulses could be targeted toward me
>end up staying away from people due to a combination of disinterest and fear because there is no combination of traits that is both safe and interesting

What should I be doing here if I want my life to improve?
Note:
>I am in therapy
>I am a straight man
>I self-identify as having no friends or family

>>33231999 (OP)
That mix of hate and fear sounds more like fear + fear to me. Fear manifests via several common responses: fight, flight, fawn, and freeze. The fight response can also be masked by feelings of anger and hate. You're deeply scared, probably traumatized, which makes you have these impulses.

Try to understand what you're angry at, why you're angry, and why you're lashing out. You don't need to agree with the normies: you just need to understand yourself. This should help you understand what direction to go in next.

>>33232054
I've done some research into trauma and CPTSD. I think my mindset and behavior matches up with strong tendencies toward either fight or freeze. So it's definitely possible.

>>33232102
Both of those can cause a lot of anger and wanting to distance yourself from others. They also are shockingly common. You're not alone. Definitely use your research as a starting point for self-reflection and further research. It will take time, but you can find your way through this.

>>33231999 (OP)
>end up staying away from people
Good. You sound like a whole lot of trouble to decent people. Maybe hang out with Charlie Manson in Death Valley.

>>33232418
Tips for convincing myself people are decent?

>>33232467
Theres a solid 30% of shitty people and 70% of good people

Good people can have feeble minds or unconscious reactions to things based on how they grew up. They still are good people because unlike bad people, good people feel guilt and shame and remorse for actions.

I think a great example of this is post ww2 German society. In which the phenomenon of the non-SS held deep and terrible guilt for the roles played (both active acts and indifferent acts) in humanity's darkest evil. Had not been for those good people reflecting on such terror and altering whats acceptable it caused the modern Germany today who upholds principles in stark contrast to their twice failed conquering mindset.

>>33232714
I see. I wouldn't really consider myself to be a good person then. I don't know if that would affect your view of me or your desire to help. I don't really think of people being good as those who feel regret either. I apologize for every sin I've ever committed to God, but I know only he can judge me and I trust that I'm doing the best I can.

>>33232755
The wise fear God and learn of the failures forever growing