aurgh i usually dont post about this type of shit online but my hallucinations have been getting more frequent and shitty ive taken up sh again and do it like each week almost i barely go outside i just stay in my room watch horror movies and play horror games since i got nothing else to do. my room is messy af and i just wanna be with my bf all the time rather than be with the people who granted me life. like yeah my parents aren't the best but they try even if they do say a lot of shit that hurts my feelings and disrecard stuff ive said and my preferences but they're still my parents and i gotta live with them for a few more years. ive been having mental breakdowns more often and i fucking hate it, i keep blacking out for hours and not remembering anything about the time and yet i still did stuff during the day so i end up staying awake at night until like 4am every day just so i can have more time each day instead of the few hours i might remember.