Thread 33235837 - /adv/ [Archived: 881 hours ago]

Anonymous
6/18/2025, 1:10:03 AM No.33235837
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1712426336374322
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Got a banking/relationship question
My fiance and I want to have a joint checking account to make daily expenses easier to manage. We've all heard horror stories about bad breakups/divorces, so today I asked one of the bankers at Chase if there was a mechanism that would require both account owners to need to agree for a large withdrawal. That way, one person couldn't clean out the account by themselves, or one person couldn't get hacked and cause all the money to get lost.

The banker said that's not possible, any one person can just empty the account or close the account without the consent of the other. I think she could tell that wasn't the answer I was looking for, so she threw in 'but one person can't just remove the other person from the account without their consent'. So I asked her what good is that if one person can just yoink all the money and *close* the account, it's the same thing as removing the other person.... No answer on that

Ultimately the only solution she could give was 'just don't keep more than $1000 in the joint account then' and then tried to pitch me on multiple investment tools

I've worked for multiple charitable organizations in the past, and have seen first hand that there are kinds of bank accounts that require authorization from multiple people on any checks or transactions, but this banker said there is no such thing

Surely there must be some kind of account with a safeguard against one person fucking the other?

inb4 'if you're questioning your partner's intentions, find a different partner'
be real dude, nobody who's ever stolen all the joint funds ever advertised at the beginning of the relationship that they would end up doing that
Replies: >>33235875 >>33235896 >>33236005 >>33236304 >>33236566 >>33238633 >>33239321 >>33240169 >>33240270
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 1:23:10 AM No.33235865
wanting to open a checking account together implies a modicum of trust in each other. if you're that paranoid about her fucking you over, you're far better of just keeping your finances separate. good luck explaining to her why though. further, imagine the conversation you two would be having if you even could set up what you want when she made a large withdrawal to surprise you with something and was denied. bottom line, it's mutually assured destruction: you could fuck her over just as much as she could you. hence the trust part. keeping the joint account under $1,000 is a solution as you two always should have your own monies as well.
Replies: >>33238617
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 1:26:46 AM No.33235875
>>33235837 (OP)
>no one's ever advertised
Just to address this first..
The signs are there. People are retarded. Youre never going to have someone with zero history of crime or pattern of behaviour that would suggest they'd do something like this suddenly go rogue overnight.
And believe it or not, people are stupid enough to date someone who regularly shoplifts and brags about it, then trust them thinking "they wouldn't do this to ME". And they're shocked when they do exactly what they do.
Its like people who steal a girl from another man then they're shocked they cheat or people who date someone with a violent history then they're shocked they get hit. Who are you dating? You already know.

>should I get joint account
But for real. If you have any doubts, dont do it. Why do you even want a joint account to begin with? My wife and I have joint account for bills, but its a monthly thing.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 1:35:22 AM No.33235896
>>33235837 (OP)
>I've worked for multiple charitable organizations in the past, and have seen first hand that there are kinds of bank accounts that require authorization from multiple people on any checks or transactions
This is true, those are dual signature accounts.

Do you have:
>An EIN (Employer Identification Number)?

>Bylaws or operating agreement that specify the dual-signature requirement in compliance with the rules of your jurisdiction?

>Meeting minutes or board resolution approving the signers?

Because that is what a bank will require

>t. quickbooks guy for <25 person charitable organization
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 2:15:02 AM No.33236005
>>33235837 (OP)
>to make daily expenses easier to manage
just write her a check for half and let her make the actual payment, or vice versa.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 3:42:24 AM No.33236304
>>33235837 (OP)
Lots of guys have separate accounts that they use for bonus money or selling their toys.maybe that can be an online account or one connected to mom’s house.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 4:45:18 AM No.33236566
>>33235837 (OP)
OP, you have two choices.
1) Have separate accounts.
2) Have a joint account, but be aware she can COMPLETELY drain the entire account at any time and you have ZERO recourse.

If you're male, NEVER share accounts, and especially NEVER allow her to use your credit card. So many examples of "my wife was an authorized user for my credit card, she went out and spent $50k, I had no clue, what are my options?" and the bank says "Nothing. You authorized her. That means it's not fraud. She could spend $100k and you'd still have no recourse."

If you're male, NEVER get married, NEVER share accounts, NEVER share credit cards. If you want you can have one shared account with $1000 or however much you're willing to lose, but that's it. Know that she can take the money and run at any time.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 3:33:45 PM No.33238617
>>33235865
>wanting to open a checking account together implies a modicum of trust in each other. if you're that paranoid about her fucking you over, you're far better of just keeping your finances separate.

Every single person who's gotten married thought their partner was 'the one' and was trustworthy, and every single person who got screwed later was proven wrong. Love and revenge aren't rational. The rational thing to do is put in place protections. It's mind-blowing to me that such a product isn't offered, a simple web search will show OP's question is extremely frequently asked, showing high demand for such a product

>further, imagine the conversation you two would be having if you even could set up what you want when she made a large withdrawal to surprise you with something and was denied.

Why would you want to be surprised with something bought with your own money?
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 3:41:35 PM No.33238633
>>33235837 (OP)
No one should keep a large amount in checking sole or joint. In your case do as Chase said. Have a joint checking but keep a minimal balance for expenses and both of you have sole accounts to transfer money into the account. However you aren't even married yet and do not trust her so what is the point. Important too is which of you will handle the finances. Usually one person is better at it than another but that doesn't mean all financial decisions are made by one but both. Its when you do not remain engaged that expose yourself.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 6:41:58 PM No.33239321
>>33235837 (OP)
Every longterm couple should have at least three accounts : Yours, Mine and Ours
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 9:48:44 PM No.33239973
me and my fiance have separate finances but we are completely aware of our savings, expenditure, etc. we have been together 7 years and whilst we trust each other, there was no point to get a joint account. which is to say, no benefit. only negatives if things went south

i also looked into joint savings accounts but they dont offer better interest than the DRS/LISAs/ISAs, etc we get already
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 10:12:44 PM No.33240095
As others have said, its best to keep separate finances and have a joint account for mutual expenses like groceries, rent, etc.

And just so you're aware, it depends a bit on your state, but generally once you're married legally speaking your finances going forward will be comingled in the eyes of the law even if you keep a separate account, because you're legally one person. If you guys buy a house from the money in your separate account she has a 50% stake in it, even though it was your money (there are some exceptions to this, like if you only used money from before the marriage, or inheritance, and clearly kept the house separate from your wife, but those are very limited). Likewise, lets say you get a bonus from work and decide buy your wife a diamond tennis bracelet as a gift, you have bought yourself a 50% share of that jewelry, and would be entitled to have that value returned to you in a divorce if she wants to keep the bracelet. She would either have to give you something with that value, or sell it and give you half the money.

But I definitely recommend filing taxes jointly, and if you buy a family home hold it in a tenancy in the entirety with a right of survivorship. Those both provide nice privileges to married couples.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 10:28:55 PM No.33240169
>>33235837 (OP)
Why not just add her as an authorized user to your credit card or vice-versa? You can set a limit for the authorized user so just set her limit to 1K.
Anonymous
6/18/2025, 10:58:41 PM No.33240270
>>33235837 (OP)
I don't see how this makes things easier. You would both get paid into this account and pay all your bills out of it?
Frankly it's easier just to budget your expenses and split them that's what my wife and I have always done and just transfer funds if there's gonna be a shortfall. We just both changed jobs and had a cash crunch but navigated it easily.

>posipay and dual auth
Those are for commercial bank accounts they don't offer services like that for personal accounts.