Love my gf and am extremely compatible with her, but she is overweight and it's impacting my ability to maintain arousal (I have to fantasize about other women or scenarios when we have sex).
I've seen her in pictures from just a couple years ago, and her losing maybe 20lbs would make her look great. She wants to lose weight and eat better, but never truly commits to it.
What should I be doing to encourage her to lose weight? I'm also trying to get in better shape and have offered to work out with her or do like meal prep with her but she tends to shut that down. And because she is insecure about it, I'm hesitant to be blunt and up front even though that's how we typically communicate around more difficult topics.

I've also indicated that she looks really attractive in a couple of older pics, but I don't know if she's reading into that increased attraction being due to both her being more in shape but also the clothing (it was actually both, but she has maintained good style despite the weight increase)

>>33235891
Chubby women are hotter than skinny women, but both are indefinitely hotter than fat women. If she's only 20lbs overweight then it shouldn't take long for her to lose the weight if she's committed. Literally she'd just need to eat slightly beneath her caloric intake for like 2 months while doing some light cardio.

>>33235904
100%, and I'm a /fit/izen so I can help her cut through the silly bullshit that inundates young women's social media on the topic. She doesn't have far to go, but she keeps kinda sitting in this perpetual "I need to..." but not actually doing state.
She also really hates exercise for no claimed reason other than its mindlessly repetitive. I suggested she maybe sign up for an interesting exercise class, but that's somehow worse to her because she needs to "work out without people being able to see her" or something. She knows I enjoy exercise and almost instantly shut down my offer to go to the gym with her.

>>33235941
The problem isn't the weight. She'll bring that attitude everywhere. Weight is a symptom

>>33235950
So what to do about it?

>>33235878 (OP)
I won't read yet another dissatisfied with some aspect of gf's appearance thread.

1. You can be honest with her and just explain what you said in the thread. Reaction may vary and if you do it this way don’t say that it’s been going on for some time now. Say it just occurred to you today

2. This is kinda toxic but you could ask her to wear a tight dress she used to wear 20lbs ago and it not fitting right may frustrate her enough to do it (I personally do this to myself and it works)

3. Start budgeting aka “no snacks or fast food” bc you’re both saving for a trip somewhere and start cooking healthy stuff. Plan the trip together to keep her motivated and engaged in not spending money on snacks. Maybe choosing someplace with a beach helps too- thinking about getting in a bikini.

4. Let her find that you’ve been looking at women online-VERY RISKY and VERY toxic- preferably pictures without faces, just fit bodies. It really hurts and you’ll have to work hard to make her feel good about herself again but she will lose weight (happened to me and it leaves a deep pit in the stomach I couldn’t eat for a week)

5. Add laxatives to her food-the stomachache and dehydration makes you lose appetite (pretty sure it’s illegal) you could also get her to smoke cigs

6. Well there’s more to attraction than just looks. Connect with her on a soul level and you’ll be turned on regardless of mere 20 pounds. Realize that at some point she could have your baby and you’ll grow old together. Looks aren’t everything, learn to love the person inside.

>>33235990
this desu
>>33235878 (OP)
theres literally nothing you can do. you either have to accept it or just draw the line and pick your penis over her if you need to.

>>33235990
You already did, you useless faggot

Save her and yourself the heartache, just break up with her. If you value sexual attraction in a relationship and that part isn't compatible then it's not worth stringing her along. You'll find someone you're attracted to and she'll find someone that likes her at her weight. It'll be fine in the end desu

>>33236010
I might just bite the bullet and be honest. Point 2 happened independently, and we've been trying to set up point 3 for a bit (she was worried about meeting my mom for a poolside cook out the other day, but I don't know if she is worried enough to fully do anything about it).
I love her genuinely, and maybe part of it is latent porn addiction I'm working on getting past. We're not going to have kids, and I'll probably be dead in the next 15 years due to my health issues, but she and I connect on a lot of ways, which is why I want to help both of us with what we've been having issues with - she with her insecurities and increase of bad habits, and me with my attraction issues. I'm trying not to think with my dick and I know I'd hate myself for throwing a good thing away over petty sexual issues, but that is one of those things that can grow resentfully until it explodes unless something is done.

>>33236322
Oh gosh you could’ve said that earlier. Porn is definitely the problem, I just assumed you weren’t connected enough if those pounds threw you off so much.
Think of those absolute addicts who can’t get hard at all around a woman- they’re so used to seeing the screen. Heard a story from a girl friend who had a guy pointing his phone at her the entire time to stay hard bc he was so used to seeing it on his phone. It’s all brain damage.
So if you’re lower on the porn damage spectrum, it’s very likely the reason it bothers you at all. In this case I’d wait with being honest with and finding fault in her appearance. try to lay it off for a month and see if your attraction towards her changes for the better. If it doesn’t, then approach her about it.
Definitely try to cut it off, you’ll really find yourself way happier and more satisfied with both yourself and your partner